This is my first story on Fictionpress, and it's probably far from perfect but I hope you'll like it anyway. Please leave comments ;]
I am alone. I always have been, no matter how many laughing and smiling people surround me. No matter how many people call themselves my friends- they are not. They are shallow and empty behind their glittering, glimmering façade. Sometimes, there are a few whose eyes are not shallow pools, but deep, deep waters.
Often, it is impossible to see past the surface while they stand there, a smile on their face as wrong as their sparkling laugh, pretending that their minds are just as dull as those around them. They blend in, impossible to tell the distance between them and the others- or so they think.
But I am good at watching, and I can tell. I watch most of the time; I don't mind being alone. In fact, I prefer it over the wrong smiles and words meant only to flatter, prefer it over the smiles that don't light up the shallow pools.
Oh, there are those who suffer, those who wallow in self pity over having become a monster. Those with weak minds, clouded by their own selfishness and stupidity. I don't. I do, as I said, prefer being a monster over being a stupid, dull human.
Sometimes, I wish there just children- children with big, large eyes. Their eyes are not shallow, they are clear. Deep, clear water that enables you to see to the very ground of their souls. But they are not shallow.
With a sigh I let my eyes wander over the people in the room. I hated these parties, but was forced to attend none the less. Women with short dresses, long hair and legs and skeleton like figures, holding glasses with sparkling Champaign, young men either standing awkwardly or being far to full of themselves and older ones, their words and smiles so fake it wasn't appalling anymore- it was disgusting.
Then I noticed him- standing there, in a small group an untouched glass of liquor in his long, thin piano hands. He didn't talk much, in fact, he didn't talk at all. He had rather long hair, reaching past his ears by a couple of centimeters the color of damp sand and stormcloudeyes.
It were those eyes who caught my attention. They were looking everywhere while the rest of him hardly moved. He looked uncomfortable, shifting around ever so often and his laughter was strained. His gaze met mine, only for a few seconds before he looked away, blushing slightly.
And I stood there, mesmerized. I had almost drowned in those grey orbs, drowned in those deep, still waters that wouldn't let me see anything beneath their dark surface. I continued to watch him for the entire evening, my eyes apparently unable to leave him for longer than it took to get rid of annoying people as politely as necessary.
He always stood somewhat alone, always a bit excluded though he didn't seem to mind much. The glass in his hand remained untouched, I noticed, and his mouth closed for most of the time. Sometimes, his eyes found mine, only for a heartbeat or a split second before he quickly looked away, always blushing, leaving me struggling to suppress a smile.
One time when he looked at me, I Iet a small smile appear on my face and this time he appeared to be startled before the tiniest of smiles, almost unrecognizable tugged at his cherrylips- and there were sunrays dancing on the surface of his stormcloud eyes. Then he looked away, his face serious again but the rays were still dancing.
He left shortly after, looking over his shoulder in my direction before exiting the big room but I pretended not to notice, trying to escape a rather stubborn young women with far too much make up and a sickening perfume. I managed to get rid of her, as briskly and impolite as I dared, and followed the young man out of the room, down the hallways, into the cold night air.
Dark clouds were hiding the stars and the moon, only sometimes they would let a glimpse of the silver light through. They boy didn't walk over to one of the many black cars standing near the house, instead he kept walking, quick steps hurried over the driveway, through the front gate onto the deserted street. I followed him, silent, unnoticed at least by him.
He kept his head down and I began wondering where on earth he was going; there was nothing around but big, rich houses, when he stopped and bend down, and or a split second I though he was tying his shoe. Then however, he pulled a backpack from underneath the hedge next to him. He looked around carefully, but quickly and with the ease of someone used to doing things secretly.
He didn't see anyone and surely there was no one around- except me. He slipped into the shadows between the hedge and a large tree- and quickly slipped out of his suit. I felt my breath catch in my throat, admiring his body against my will. The clouds parted, sliver light flooded over his pale body- at least for my eyes, as he was still standing in the shadows.
He changed fast, exchanging the formal, stiff clothes he had been wearing for dark blue jeans and a black sweater and slipped into dark trainers. Then he looked at his old clothes, disgust turning his pretty features into an ugly mask for a split second before stuffing then into his black backpack.
He stood up and mussed his hair with a hand until it looked messy and ruffled- and even better than it had looked before. He stepped out of the shadows, and now I realized why all his clothes were dark. For human eyes, he was almost invisible wearing them and the careful, distancing expression on his face.
He was walking quicker now, almost running and only slowed down when the ridiculously large houses disappeared and there were smaller ones; the people who lived here were still rich enough but here he didn't raise any attention the way he was dressed.
I continued to follow him, curious by his rather weird behavior and even more so by his deep, deep eyes. At a bus stop he stopped, leaning against a brick wall, hands stuffed in his pockets- and I watched. He was going somewhere, somewhere where the elegant clothes he had worn just an hour ago didn't fit in.
The bus was late, and I could see him shiver. He wasn't wearing a jacket, and the air and a cold wind carried the promise of snow. I was tempted to step out of my hiding and join him, the lone figure with his arms wrapped around him. Yes, I was tempted to seek human company. But instead I watched him entering the warmth of the bus. I didn't follow.
The next time I saw him was not on one of the dull and extremely tedious parties, but in a club. I was surprised to see him there, dancing, surrounded by others but alone. He moved without touching anyone, without looking at anyone, his eyes closed.
People seemed to avoid him, to ignore him even. The air was filled with a disgusting mixture of alcohol, smoke and the smell of human bodies. It had been the later that had drawn me to this sorry excuse for a club, the hunger and desire for blood.
I had never expected to meet him here. He was wearing similar closes than the ones he had changed into last time and I watched him with a strange fascination. He wasn't what you would call pretty in this time and place but neither was he ugly and it was more the way he moved, the way he acted that fascinated me so- and his eyes.
Grey, stormy eyes that now snapped open finally realizing he had been watched. His eyes found mine and I smiled faintly a smile that turned into a smirk when I noticed his eyes widen but still remain confused. He knew me, though he could not tell from where.
I stepped into the crowd of dancing bodies and weaved my way through them with long practiced ease of someone used to walking in crowds with no desire of being touched or noticed. I didn't want to talk to him here, surrounded by other people that were far to close for comfort, so I grabbed his wrist and, ignoring his startled cry, and pulled him along behind me as I swiftly walked of the dance floor.
He followed me, walking through the crowd almost as easily as I had done. Again, I was reminded of how similar we were- in some ways at least. When we were finally in a quiet corner, as far away from the loudspeakers as possible I stopped.
He hadn't protested when I had dragged him away from the dance floor and his eyes were still confused, watching me, trying to figure out who exactly I was. Granted, I looked different from the last time he had seen me, forced to wear the uncomfortable and ugly suits that represented wealth and social status in this era. Instead, I wore black pants and a white shirt with wide sleeves, and my hair was messy compared to the careful, neat appearance I had had at the party.
"What do you want?" He sounded mostly curious, really. Nothing of the hostility I had been expecting. I was still holding his wrist, but he didn't seem to mind or he hadn't noticed. I smiled, but didn't answer. Mainly because I did not know what I wanted from him. I had not thought, simply acted. And now I found it hard to justify my actions even to myself, lest to him.
He was still watching me, and finally he noticed my long, thin fingers wrapped around his wrist. He jerked his arm away and attempted to glare at me. It looked ridiculous; not that I doubted that he could be angry, that there could be lighting flashing in those storm clouds. But now I could tell that he was not mad, simply curious and maybe a bit more careful now. Suddenly, I could see recognition in his eyes
"I know you!" he exclaimed. "You were that guy from the party last week!" I didn't answer, but I could feel my smile widen a tiny bit. "You kept looking at me…" He stopped and I could see him blushing. He turned away, trying to hide it from me
"Well…" I said slowly "You were pretty interested in me too, weren't you?" His head jerked up and his eyes widened. Had he not realized that I had noticed it
"I- I only looked at you once or twice" he mumbled, his blush deepening. I laughed, but decided to let it go. It didn't really matter, after all.
"So, what are you doing here? Are these surroundings fitting for you, mh?" I asked. He looked at me, suddenly careful and there was a hint of fear
"I could ask you the same!" He shot back, a bit too hastily and fiercely to pretend that he didn't worry about my words.
"Yes, you could" I drawled "But my parents won't ask me what I am doing here" He glared at me, fear and anger mixing in those beautiful eyes.
"They don't care anyway" He murmured and lowered his eyes. I, on the other hand, eyed him even more curious now.
"Do they really not care? Or is that a way of telling me I shouldn't try threatening you because it's pointless?" I asked.
"Both" He still didn't look at me. I decided to let it slip.
"Mh, back to my first question then. What are you doing here?"
"Obviously. Why here?"
"Why not?" I grinned. Someone was not in a talk active mood today. Or now, seeing as he hadn't mind talking to me before I had voiced that small threat.
"Want to dance, then?" He looked up, surprised.
"With you?" He didn't say anymore but I could see the Why should I in his eyes. I laughed
"It's just one dance. And I won't tell anyone about this"
"So you are blackmailing me?" He sounded unbelieving, finally looking at me now.
"You could say that" I chuckled "But it's not that bad, is it? Be honest"
"It isn't about the dancing! It's about being blackmailed into doing something. Anything"
I grinned, taking that as a yes and for a second time this evening I grabbed his arm and dragged him into the dancing crowd. He didn't protest and followed me without complaining.
He closed his eyes, and started moving to the beat of the music. Without touching anyone, almost instinctively avoiding everyone else around him. Including me. I shrugged it of, regretting it somewhat but then again the blackmailing had been more of a joke, I wouldn't force him into anything.
I began dancing as well, slowly, and couldn't stop watching him. Then suddenly he was close, his body hot against mine. His eyes were still closed. Somewhat surprised I leaned forward so that he could hear me over the loud music and practically screamed
"Hey, you don't have to do this. It was more of a joke, you know…?" His eyes remained closed, but he pressed himself against me.
"I am not doing this because you blackmailed me" he murmured, but I still heard him. The he opened his eyes. Deep, dark, stormcloudeyes. Looking at me. And I drowned in them.
And yes, English is not my first language. So I apologise for any grammar mistakes. I do try my best =]
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