Words I Couldn't Say

In a book in a box in the closet

In a line in a song I once heard

In a moment on a front porch late one June

In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon

Emilia sat on her back porch leaning her back against the wall, with music playing in the background. It was late and out, but she liked the air. A silent tear fell down as one of their songs started playing. Then she looked at what she had next to her.

It was a box full of memories.

Two deflated mylar balloons

Three letters

Bunches of candy wrappers

And pictures of the both of them.

She picked up one of the pictures; it was ripped in half from the anger, but put together quickly there after. She held it to her heart, more tears streaming down her face.

She reread a letter he sent to her before Christmas. As she neared the end, she didn't want to read it. She couldn't finish it, because she knew by heart what it said.

(FLASHBACK)

There it was at the tip of my fingers.

All she had to do was type it into her phone, and tell him what he wanted to hear

There it was on the tip of my tongue.

She had it, but it wouldn't come out. She felt so strongly for him, but she just couldn't say anything.

There you were and I had never been that far.

She has never been this close before. Never said those 3 words, 8 letters.

There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms

And I let it all slip away.

He couldn't stand it anymore, she wasn't gonna say what he wanted to hear and he would never get what he wanted to say out. So he said goodnight and that was the end.

What do I do now that you're gone.

(END FLASHBACK)

Emilia didn't know what to do. It has been a couple of years now, they were over and she still didn't know how to cope. She had been trying to move on. He already had moved on and now she had to do the same.

No back up plan, no second chance

That was her second chance. He gave it to her, her last chance to make it right or their last chance to make it right.

And no one else to blame

He can't be blamed for this. It was her doing, she didn't say anything and now there was no one else to blame but her. She's been regretting it ever since.

All I can hear in the silence that remains

The only thing between them now is silence. Pure, utter silence, no communication at all

Are the words I couldn't say...

She couldn't say "come out with it already" that was all she needed to say 5 measly words! But she didn't say anything.

I should have found a way to tell you how I felt

She should have told him, just came right out with it. Better yet, said something the next day. It is too late, its over and done.

Now the only one I'm telling is myself.

I'm so sorry, but I still love you.