i've been staring at the backs of my hands
i've been staring so long that every line is familiar.
have you ever seen yourself
as an object and not a person?
the lines on the backs of my hands
looks like the small webbing of a maple leaf.
i'd rather be the maple leaf.
i've been gazing out of closed blinds
windows that only have dark skies behind them.
i've let my eyes unfocus and just imagined
you on the other side of the window pane.
then i got curious and refocused,
only to see a leafless tree blowing to the left.
i dream of you in these ways
holding my leaves for hands
and tapping on window panes.
i've been looking but not seeing
i've had to remember my breathing.
i'm a mess, and i'm messed up
but i would do all i could
if i had a chance.
leaves are laying on the sill
and all i can see are your fingers
they blow away in the wind
and i know i'm a hopeless dreamer.