Chapter 7

RPOV

I really thought he was going to hit me back. I hit him as hard as I possibly could, trying to make it good for the onlookers. The anger in his eyes was so real. It was a different anger from when he was dealing with Dmitri or his dad. Every instinct inside to me to shy away but as his arm swung down, it went under my legs. The window flew open, he scooped me up and passed me to Ian.

"Nice boobs," he chuckled as I rushed to put on what was left my shirt.

"Get moving Ian. The loop won't last long," St. Clair said behind me.

I didn't get the chance to ask any questions before Ian and I went repelling smoothly to the ground.

Ian ran to the Impala I had come to love so much over the past few years and we jumped in the backseat. St. Clair in the front.

George took off squealing the tires. I looked around at my boys. They did this all for me. I know what George and Ian's motive was, but I didn't know about St. Clair. He seemed to be really worried about me. Every time he looked at me in that room, my whole body heated up and I didn't feel hate toward him. He was staring straightforward, eyes wide, his breathing gradually slowing.

I had to say something, I was feeling awkward. "I'm sorry I hit you so hard," I apologized.

St. Clair glared back at me. The glare turned into a glance of concern. "You just did what I asked. As long as you're okay, it doesn't matter."

"I heard it from the car and it sounds like she gave you a black eye, St. Clair."

"Shut up!" he said punching George in the arm.

"Thanks," I said softly.

"Anytime, Babe," Ian declared covering me with his jacket and pulling me into a bear hug. I gladly accepted and returned it. "You're worth it."

"I'm sorry I ruined your party, George."

I saw his eyes lock on mine in the rear view mirror. "It was getting a little boring anyway. I think the best part was watching St. Clair knock Tiff, who was dressed as a pink flamingo, into the food table! I'm not sure what she did after that, but let's just say she will never be a pink flamingo again."

I laughed. It felt really good to laugh for real again.

George's cell phone started to ring "Secret Agent Man" and he picked it up.

"Y'ellow? We got her. Who's with you? Yeah, hold a sec." He handed the phone to me.

"Hello?"

"Are you okay?" It was Shane. I was so glad it was him. His voice always made me feel better, the mix of his Chinese/British accent, smooth and hypnotic.

"I'm fine."

"Good, I'm glad. Don't worry. We'll take care of everything."

"The dress got destroyed. I feel so bad."

"Roma! You were kidnapped and nearly raped. Don't worry about that damn dress!"

I laughed a little. For a second we were quiet. Then, I heard a small sniffle.

"Are you crying?" I asked.

"No! It's Kip. The fucker won't stop hugging me!"

I laughed again much harder. I realized that all these years, Dickenson was where I was supposed to be. It wasn't Hell after all, just purgatory.

Two days. Graduation would arrive in two days and my brothers would leave me. We decided not to return to their party that night. I was exhausted and they were still pumped up from their mission. George and Ian met Shane and disappeared into the night to deal with their adrenaline rush. I didn't ask.

Before leaving, the three of them insisted on taking shifts watching me until graduation. After that brief and infuriating conversation, none of them ever talked about the kidnapping incident, I was glad. I blocked those things from my mind for a reason.

Regis and I returned to our room, where we lay in my bed in silence. I just wanted to look at him for a while. For several hours, we lay there. He rubbed my back and I played with his unbelievably soft hair. He fell asleep long before I did. I watched him and wondered how I could be so lucky. I was hated by him and then in a split second, love was all I wanted from him. It was all he gave me. The man was my downfall, but he also uplifted me.

Now, I was sitting in a window seat in the library, Regis in a chair near me, pretending to read a book, which I noticed was upside down. I was content spending study hall staring into the rain that had poured for two days straight. Something about the rain made me extremely calm. I had been very worried the past week over exams, among other things.

My mother or her pimp hadn't come back to look for me. Regis suggested it was the three musketeers who made that happen. I was extremely thankful I wouldn't have to go through that crap again but it made me feel depressed. Abe must have thought I wasn't worth the twenty bucks a pop and felt satisfied with the fact no one would want me anyway. I thought about that a lot since I was saved.

Would anybody want me? I felt so dirty some times. I would dream of the whorehouse or one of the Johns I encountered when I was younger. On those days, I would stay in the shower until the water got cold. St. Clair would attempt to fuss at me about it but he always took a cold shower anyway.

"Roma?"

"Huh?" I said looking at his blue eyes. He was standing above me, patiently waiting.

"The bell just rang."

"It did?"

"Where were you girl?"

"Away," I replied getting up and getting my books.

We went to our room and I immediately flopped down on my bed. I felt so depressed. The world around me felt so small and I was just a speck of floating dust. I wanted to cry.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," I huffed trying to choke back tears.

He sat beside me on the bed and took my hand. "Something's wrong, Roma. Please tell me what's going on."

I averted my eyes from his as tears fell. Once again, my mouth was faster than my mind. I couldn't help but scream my depression. "I'm so dirty! No one will ever want me!"

His hand immediately went to my cheek. He forced me to look at him. Damn those stupid blue eyes. "I want you."

I was shocked. I stopped crying and stared at him. Did St. Clair just confess to me? "Why?"

"Because you are the purest, most honest person I've ever met. Ever since I met you, I wanted to be near you. You radiate something that is difficult to put into words. Every little thing you do makes me tingle inside. When you got kidnapped, I thought I was going to go crazy. As soon as I saw you, I thought how right you were in my eyes and how amazing I felt. The look you give me makes my heart beat hard."

"Really?"

He shook his head. "Really." He leaned down and kissed me. His lips were soft, full. His kiss was undemanding and he waited. He wasn't going to force me. He wanted me to make the decision to feel the same way about him. I did. I wanted to show him that so I kissed him back.

My inexperienced kisses didn't seem to bother him as I felt his body shift above me and rest squarely between my legs. He let most of his weight press me into the bed. I felt a slight wave of panic but I pushed it away. I was safe. I was wanted. I was loved.

I felt his hands slip under my school jacket and I shivered. He smiled and kept kissing me. His lips tore from mine as he lifted my shirt over my head as well as his own more quickly.

He came back down to me and lead of trail of kisses from my mouth to my shoulder to the top of my breast. My hands found his back and I rubbed. My bra found its way to the floor and he was massaging gently, squeezing moans of pleasure from me.

His kisses were still light but with more fury. They found their way along my jaw line and to my neck where he sucked gently. St. Clair's lips kept going down, down, oh crap. Panic! Panic! His hands had started at the edge of my skirt and he was pulling it down slowly. His lips made it almost to the top of my "danger zone" and I froze pulling his hair slightly.

"Roma?" my eyes opened to meet his. "If you don't want to, tell me now."

"It's… it's not that. Just…" his eyebrow rose. "Can you not put your um… well… hands and face there?"

He smiled. It was gentle. "Of course." He kissed my nose and then my cheek and my lips again sending calming waves of energy throughout my body. His hands pushed my skirt and underwear down and out of the way as my hands found the top of his pants. I unbuttoned and unzipped them, pushing them off his hips.

I didn't really register that he pushed them the rest of the way down and put on a condom. I was so focused on his eyes. Those eyes that used to torture me and force me to pray for redemption. They were now the eyes that were bathing me in love. His hands were touching me carefully as if I was breakable. They roamed over my body, from my shoulders down to my hips and back up again. His kisses were passionately laid on my lips and face and along my collar bone. I was shivering with anticipation as his face returned to mine. He looked straight at me, those eyes twinkling brightly. Putting both hands on the side of my face and entered me slowly.

This was much different then the first time. I wasn't screaming in pain and fear. I was filled with this great realization of love that I had never felt before. He was gentle not violent. I felt no pain this time, only pleasure tingles all over my body. He didn't move for several minutes until I sighed, then it was like being on an ocean. He pulled out, pushed in, out, in. I joined in his rhythm and grinded my hips against him. I smiled as he groaned impatiently.

A weird sensation built in the bottom of my stomach. I tried to hold it. It felt weird. But as he moved it got tighter and tighter making my whole body tense. My arms were wrapped around his neck. I was digging my fingers into his back trying to hold on for dear life. Then, when I couldn't hold it any longer, the tension released and I squeaked. Just as I did, he moaned loudly and his body relaxed above me and fell.

He was still inside me. That was the greatest feeling in the world. It was like we were one person. It solidified my faith in him. Just as he started to move, I grabbed his shoulders and hugged him close.

"Don't. Not yet."

"Okay," he whispered stroking my hair out of my face. He stared down at me, "I love you, Roma."

"I love you Regis."

The rain hadn't stopped so graduation had to be held in the gym. There were so many people. It was hot and smelly and crowded. It amazed me how many maids and workers of the family showed up instead of the actual parents. Then again, maybe not. George's dad sat staring at his watch. Next to him was Ian's mother who was smiling brightly. I knew she was the most excited to see her only child graduate. Shane's mom and dad sat next to each other, the only two parents that were looking lovingly at each other. They all sat at the bottom near the stage. Kip, Regis and I found the only seats available at the very top of the bleachers and were prepared to cheer for the three.

Regis had a tight hold of my hand, rubbing circles with his thumb. Eyes closed. He was squeezing the life out of my fingers but I didn't care. He was touching me. Just that little contact sent shivers up and down my spine.

"Regis, you're not going to fall. I won't let you," I cooed. To think, the great Regis St. Clair afraid of heights.

"Just tell me when they cross the stage, okay?" He was shaking. I could see and feel it.

I pushed a stray strand black hair behind his ear. "Okay."

The three went on stage one right after the other and proudly accepted their diplomas and honors. Regis only opened his eyes just long enough to watch them cross and then promptly shut them again until the ceremony was over. The entire time I was watching him, studying his every feature. Afraid at any moment he would disappear. But he didn't. He wasn't a demon. He was my angel sent straight from Heaven.