One of my friends was telling me that the voices in her head had names, so it sparked my imagination and I wrote this.


I just want you to know that I'm not crazy.

Ha. Like they'll believe you.

Hush, Melanie. No one wants to listen to you.

Except you! You don't have anyone else to talk to.

Melanie! I'm warning you…

What can you do to her? She's not real!

Yes, she is, Blake. Don't be mean to her.

Whyever not? It's not like you can stop me. Hey, Melanie! You're not real!

I'm well aware of that, thank you, Blake.

Will you two shut up?

Oh, no. Why would we? It's fun to annoy you.

Why do I talk to you?

Like Melanie said. You don't have friends. You only have us.

Hey, not cool, Drew, I wanted to tell her that.

Fine, Blake. Be that way.

Thanks, guys. Thanks for being so friendly.

No problem. It's our job.

I certainly didn't hire you.

Too bad, honey. You're stuck with us.

That was kind of grim, Drew.

Screw you, Melanie, you know it's true.

I thought you three were my friends!

Your only friends. Because you can't get them yourself.

Wow, Blake, that really lifted my spirits.

It's true! Why do you think they sent you here, to this all-white room with nosy men coming and asking you questions?

I know I'm not insane, Blake. You know it too.

You talk to the voices in your head. How is that sane?

But you're not in my head! You're real! Melanie's real, I've see her long, black hair—

And my piercing blue eyes in your dreams. I know. We've had this conversation multiple times.

You can't be figments of my imagination! If you leave…

If we leave, then you'd be sane.

That was profound, Drew.

Thanks, Blake-y pie!

…Blake-y pie?

Sure. You're already insane, why not be insane with the voices in your head having nicknames for each other?

Oh yeah, remind us why you gave us names? It's not like we need them.

Because then you're real, you have an identity!

No, dear, you're crazy.

I'm not crazy. I just want you to know that I'm not crazy.