A/N: Yes! The Romeo and Juliet parody is finally here! This was originally supposed to come out as a special for Valentine's day, but we were busy so yeah. Sorry for the delay. For now, enjoy this oneshot! It's a modern, humorous twist on the original Shakespearan play, 'Romeo and Juliet.'

Anyways, we changed the names of all the characters in Romeo and Juliet. Here's all the changes:

Romeo Montague - Joe Hunter

Juliet Capulet - Mimi Rose

Prince Escales - Queen Cindy

Montague - James Hunter

Lady Montague - May Hunter

Capulet - Matt Rose

Lady Capulet - Monica Rose

Nurse - Momo

Tybalt - Airadi

Benvolio - Poopie

Mercutio - Alex

Paris - Dennis

Friar Laurence - Priest Suchi

So yeah, enjoy and please review!

Star-Crossed Stupidity:

Once upon a time, in the busy city of Maple, there were two large companies. Rose Industries and Hunter Corporations. These companies were the biggest in the entire city and therefore, competed with each other endlessly. Because of this, the Rose family and the Hunter family hated each other and refused to associate themselves with one another.

Little did they know that their children would change everything…

Mimi Rose and Joe Hunter walked into the gym in which they would be competing in the annual volleyball tournament. The crowd roared as both teams entered and took their places on the court.

"My precious daughter!" Matt Rose called out from the bleachers, "Thou shalt bring honour to thy team! Those Hunters won't bring thee down! They won't land a single hit!"

James Hunter turned around in his seat to glare back at Matt Rose. "Are you questioning my offspring's capability?" He motioned towards Joe on the court.

Matt scoffed. "Art thou deaf? Tis what I said. Do thy ears deceive thee?"

"Hmph," James grunted. "Thou art a cowering fool! No matter what thou shalt say!"

"Whatever…"

"I beg thy pardon?"

"Uh…I mean…thou art pardoned."

Before the conversation could continue, the overhead speaker boomed out loud.

"And now," The announcer said, "Serving for the home team is the heir to Rose Industries, Mimi Rose!"

At that moment, a group of people from the bleachers, including Matt Rose and his wife Monica, stood up and cheered loudly.

"Mimi! Mimi!"

Mimi Rose smiled brightly as she flipped the ball a number of times and took her position. She cleanly served the ball over the net with great power. Before anyone on the opposite team could do anything, Joe Hunter ran to where the ball was headed and bumped it easily over the net.

"YEAH!" James' wife, May, hollered.

Joe grinned at his mother as he turned to look over at the other team. He suddenly froze in place, gazing at Mimi Rose in awe. Mimi returned the gesture.

The ball was exchanged between both teams but both Mimi and Joe did not move an inch, staring at each other lovingly.

Suddenly, the ball flew towards Mimi, bonking her on the head.

"Ah!" Mimi gasped as she collapsed to the ground. A group of people on the sidelines ran to her side, trying to help her up.

"HALT!" Monica shouted. She pointed accusingly at May Hunter. "Thy son…uh…um…" She fumbled. "Okay. You know what? Screw this poetic crap! Your stupid son made my daughter miss!"

"Oi!" May quipped back. "You better take that back, lady! Before I kick your ass all the way back to…wherever you came from."

"I'd like to see you try! Damn hag!"

May let out a gasp. "Oh no, you didn't!"

"I just did."

"WHY YOU LITTLE-" May lunged towards Monica only to be stopped by her husband, James.

"Calm down, honey! You don't need to worry about anything. I'll buy all their stocks."

"That won't do anything!" May glared. "Our companies are on the same level. Whatever we do, they can do it too!"

"Oh…that sucks then." He held out a carton of popcorn. "Popcorn?"

"NO!"

"Pocky, then?"

May seemed to consider this. She finally sat down. "Well, okay."

"HEY!" Monica interrupted. "We're not done here!" She held up her umbrella.

"Sweetie, why don't you calm down for a minute?" Matt asked his wife. "Maybe with a shower or something?"

Monica sighed exasperatedly. "For the last time, I am not showering with you!"

"Oh…" Matt paused. "A bath, then?" He looked hopeful.

"No!" Monica punched him.

"Ow!"

"Dude!" James began snickering. "You just got served…by your wife!"

"Shut the F up!" Matt snapped.

James continued chortling. "Unlike you, I'm the dominant spouse of the household!"

"Yeah right!" May kicked him in his shin.

"Owww!"

Matt snorted. "Who got served now?"

"I DID!" Alex, Joe's best friend, barged into the gym. Everyone looked at Alex quizzically.

"Uh…you're not here until the next few scenes…" Monica pointed out.

"Oh…" Alex put a hand to the back of his neck awkwardly. "Damn, my bad." He walked out of the gym.

Suddenly Poopie, Joe's other friend, ran into the gym, waving his arms around wildly.

"STOP FIGHTING!"

Monica raised her umbrella as May threatened to throw her shoe.

"Ack!" Poopie cowered. "Don't hurt me!"

Matt sniggered. "What a loser…"

"I know!" James agreed. "I don't know why my son hangs out with him…"

"Hey! That's not nice!" Poopie whined.

"Sucks for you." James smirked.

All of a sudden, Airadi, Mimi's cousin, charged in. She grabbed Poopie in a headlock and shouted. "I got him!" She looked pointedly at Matt. "You can punch him now!"

"Yeah…we stopped fighting a while back…" Monica informed her.

"Oh…" Airadi reluctantly let go of Poopie and sulked. "Aw man! I always miss the good stuff!"

There was an awkward silence as everyone looked at each other confusedly. Finally, Airadi looked down to where Poopie was cowering in front of her. She raised an eyebrow.

"Dude...you can get up now."

Poopie stood up quickly and ran behind an approaching woman.

"Get out of my face, loser," The woman, who turned out to be the queen, yelled.

"You're so mean!" Poopie whined. "You're a wife beater!"

"What the..." Queen Cindy frowned.

"Naw," James spoke up, "She's a husband beater."

Queen Cindy narrowed her eyes at James, "I'm not married."

"Well that explains it."

"Ugh," Airadi growled. "This is boring. I'm leaving."

"Hey!" Poopie called, still behind the queen, "where are you going?"

"To the bar," Airadi replied simply. Her face then turned dark. "DON'T FOLLOW ME!" She briskly walked out of the gym.

"That was weird..." May remarked.

There was another silence until Matt raised his head and looked around the almost empty gym.

"What the...where are the kids?!"

Managing to escape their parents banter, Joe Hunter walked out of the stadium, Mimi in his arms.

"Ugh," Mimi woke up drowsily, looking around, "Where am I?" She looked up at Joe's face and froze.

Joe gazed down at Mimi. "Don't worry," He hushed. "You're safe with me now."

"You..." Mimi whispered as Joe put her down. She stood on her feet steadily but held onto Joe's arm.

"Who are you?" Mimi questioned.

"Who ever you want me to be..."

"No, seriously."

"Joe."

"Ah."

"And who is this angel standing before me?"

"Mimi."

"Mimi...such a beautiful name..."

"Really? I thought it was rather plain. My friend named her dog after me."

"I would name the most beautiful rose in my garden after you. However, it would still not do your beauty justice."

Mimi blushed. "You are so kind to me. Where are you from? I want to get to know you."

Before Joe could answer, a cluster of voices began approaching them.

"This is all your fault, you stupid hag!"

"My fault? Look whose talking, damn witch!"

"I seriously will kick your ass."

"Just try and see what happens!"

Joe and Mimi widened their eyes in unison.

"I must go..." Joe pulled away from Mimi.

"Wait!" Mimi called after him. "I don't know where to find you!"

"I promise you, we shall meet again!"

"But-"

Joe disappeared behind a building as the Roses and Hunters emerged from the front doors of the stadium.

"Mimi!" Monica said sharply. "What are you doing out here by yourself?"

"Um, I..."

"No matter." Monica looked at the Hunters disapprovingly. "Let's go home before these losers give us something like SARS."

"Oh please," May spat. "Just watch when your stocks crash!"

Monica pulled her daughter along with Matt, and soon, both families returned to their homes.

Mimi sighed dreamily as she sat in her room, staring out the window. Mimi's nurse, Momo, looked at her oddly.

"Mimi, you've been sighing like five billion times. What's wrong?"

"Oh, Momo!" Mimi sighed again. "I just met the most wonderful person!"

Momo blushed. "Mimi, I'm flattered!"

"No, it's not you."

"Oh."

Mimi continued speaking. "He was so...I don't know how to explain it! I've never met anyone like him before!"

"What's his name?"

"Joe...something."

"...Joe? Sounds familiar..." Momo pondered. He looked at Mimi. "Tell me, where did you meet him?"

"At the volleyball game today! We were facing Black Pine High school."

Momo's face darkened. "Were the Hunters at the game today?"

"Yeah, why?"

"HOLY SHIT!" Momo shrieked. "That wasn't just any boy! That was Joe Hunter! As in, heir to Hunter Corporations!"

Mimi gasped. "He's...a Hunter?"

"No shit!"

"But I didn't know! I couldn't...I..."

"You have to promise me never to see him again. If you do, you're parents will kick your ass!"

"But you don't understand! I like him!"

"Oh well. You can't be with him." Momo shrugged and rushed out of the room.

"But..." Tears formed on the corners of Mimi's eyes as she buried her head in her hands. "This can't be happening..."

Meanwhile, Joe paced in the Rose's orchard. He already knew who Mimi was but that didn't stop him from what he was feeling.

"Ugh..." Joe whispered to himself, "I have to see her again."

He dug into his pocket and pulled out a baseball. As soon as he located Mimi's room, he would get her attention!

Looking up at the mansion, he saw a large window near a string of vines, light pouring through. Joe had a feeling that this was Mimi's room.

"What light through yonder window breaks?" Joe recited. "It is the east, and Mimi is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon!"

Joe raised his arm and aimed for the window. With as much force as possible, he whipped the ball at the window. Joe held his breath as the ball shattered the glass, letting out a piercing crash.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Joe could hear Matt Rose yell.

"SHIT!" Joe cringed as he ran back into the forest. He had gotten the wrong room! "I guess I'll have to come back later..." He told himself as he disappeared into the darkness of the night.

"Damn kids..." Matt muttered as he watched the window repairman fix his broken window.

It was morning and the Roses were very upset with what had happened.

Before Matt could rant in his head more, he heard his wife calling.

"Matt! Dennis is here!"

"Crap, I forgot about that kid." Matt walked downstairs into the large foyer where he found Dennis, a boy Mimi's age, lounging.

"Dennis! You finally came."

"It was a pleasure, Mr. Rose." Dennis bowed. "I can't wait to marry your daughter. I heard she was a beauty."

"She is." Matt reassured him. "Monica!" He called upstairs. "Bring Mimi down!"

After a few minutes of waiting, Mimi emerged down the stairs awkwardly, holding onto her mother.

"There she is!" Matt pointed at his daughter.

Monica brought Mimi down to where Matt and Dennis were standing.

"Uh, dad? What's this about?" Mimi asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, I've decided to marry you off to this dude."

Mimi widened her eyes. "What?!? Without asking me?"

"Yup."

"But...but..." Mimi stared at Dennis who was wearing a thick pair of glasses and a Naruto fan club t-shirt. She pointed a finger accusingly at him. "HE'S AN OTAKU!"

"Ota-what?" Dennis frowned.

Mimi turned and pouted at Monica. "Mom, I don't want to marry him!"

Monica softened. "Okay." She patted her daughter's head lovingly.

"HEY!" Matt reddened.

"Bleh, whatever." Monica muttered. "Who cares about marriage? Like, sheesh. I married too early and look at me! Now I have a retarded husband who only cares about showers!"

Matt gawked. "That's not true! I consider baths important too!"

"Oh, please." Monica rolled her eyes.

"Whatever!" Matt shouted as he turned to Mimi. "You're marrying him and that's final!"

"But why?!"

"Because! He's related to Bill Gates."

"Seriously?" Monica raised a brow.

"Well," Dennis began to speak up, "I never really said anything like th-"

"Of course he is!" Matt interrupted. He then turned towards Dennis. "You are, right?"

"Nope."

"Oh." Matt turned towards his family once again. "Well it doesn't matter! You're getting married anyways!"

"But-" Mimi tried to say.

"NO BUTS!" Matt shouted. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a shower to take." He looked pointedly at Monica who growled at him.

"Forget it, Matt!"

"Fine!" Matt sulkily walked upstairs, leaving Mimi tearing up at her mother's side.

"My life's ruined!" She cried as she ran to her room.

"I'm bored." Alex said gloomily as him, Poopie, and Joe were leaning against a snack bar at the beach.

"Blah." Joe responded.

"You wanna go make those little kids cry?" Alex motioned towards a group of toddlers making a sand castle. Joe frowned at his friend.

"Dude, what kind of person does that?"

"What?" Alex asked innocently. Joe looked at him disapprovingly. "Man, you're no fun!"

There was a small silence until Poopie spoke up.

"You guys hear about the broken window at the Rose mansion last night?"

Alex and Poopie began laughing loudly.

"Man! I give props to whoever did that!"

Joe shifted uncomfortably and it did not go missed by the two boys. They abruptly stopped laughing as Alex looked at his friend carefully.

"IT WAS YOU!" Alex accused.

"It was an accident!" Joe spluttered.

"What were you doing there in the first place?"

Joe bit his lip. "I..." He began hesitantly. "I was going to see...Mimi."

Poopie and Alex looked at Joe quizzically.

"Who's that?" Poopie asked.

"I dunno." Alex shrugged. "Some chick."

"WOMEN ARE NOT OBJECTS!" Joe screeched.

There was an awkward silence as Alex and Poopie stared at Joe.

Finally, Alex spoke. "What the hell?"

"I don't know." Joe confessed. "It just sounded like a cool thing to say."

"Yeah...don't do that again...seriously."

"I have found the answer to all your celestial problems!" Poopie suddenly shouted.

Joe blinked. "What celestial problems? That doesn't make any sense."

"Yeah, about that..." Poopie paused as he thought. "I don't know. I read it somewhere and felt like being random."

"Did you know that you can recycle your toenail clippings? Alex blurted out.

Poopie and Joe looked at Alex blankly.

"Did we really need to know that?" Joe inquired.

"Well, it is useful information." Alex grinned.

"What the...how?!"

"It's good for our planet! Instead of cutting trees, we can make paper out of our toenails!"

"Right. You go ahead and do that..."

Out of the blue, Airadi ran up to the boys and jumped up and down excitedly.

"GUESS WHAT?!" She hollered as she pulled out a stick of lip balm. "I have organic lip balm!"

Alex raised an eyebrow. "You know, we don't really ca-"

"IT'S ORGANIC!" Airadi insisted.

"But-"

"Organic! I'll read it to you!"

"No, it's ok-" Poopie tried to cut in, but was unsuccessful as Airadi began listing ingredients from the lip balm's label.

"Let's see." She read happily. "Organic sunflower oil, organic beeswax, organic castor oil, organic coconut oil, organic vanilla, organic Aloe Vera..."

"You can stop n-" Joe began.

"I'M STILL SPEAKING!" Airadi snapped, causing Joe to back away. "Anyways, Tocopherol, Iron Oxides, Titanium Dioxide, Candelilla wax, and...Chlorophyll!" She motioned towards her lips. "Look! They're green!"

"No one cares about your stupid lip balm!" Joe shouted quickly.

"Yeah! You damn Rose!" Alex supplied.

Airadi gasped in shock. "But...it's organic!"

"So?"

Her jaw flexed as she whipped the stick of lip balm at Joe, directly hitting him on the forehead. He didn't even wince.

"Was that supposed to hurt me?" He asked with a smirk. Airadi glared.

"How dare you mock my organic lip balm?"

"What are you talking about? It's just lip balm."

"Just...lip balm?" She twitched. "It's ORGANIC!"

"We get it, but guess what?" Alex added. "We don't care."

Airadi narrowed her eyes, turning redder by the second. She pointed dramatically at Joe. "Joe Hunter! I challenge you to a duel!"

"Over lip balm?"

"ORGANIC LIP BALM!" Airadi fumed. "Now fight me!"

"Ohhhh!" Alex squealed loudly as he raised his hand and hopped up and down. "Me, me, me! Pick me! I wanna fight!"

"Are you sure?" Joe questioned his friend carefully.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. She's just a girl. What could she possibly do?"

Before the boys could do anything, Airadi fist connected with Alex's nose, which resulted in a loud, sickening crunch.

"ACK!" Alex stumbled backwards. He wiped the blood off his nose and glared at Airadi. "Damn."

Airadi grinned devilishly at him. "What's wrong?" She asked mockingly. "I'm just a girl, right?" She drew a broken beer bottle from her back pocket and waved it threateningly at Alex. "Come and get some."

Alex snarled as he pulled out a knife of his own. "DON'T MAKE ME SHANK YOU!"

"I DARE YOU!"

"GRAAAAAAH!" Alex lunged towards Airadi but missed as she flew out of his path.

"Loser!" She swung her beer bottle at Alex's head. He ducked in the knick of time and stuck his tongue out triumphantly.

"You missed!"

Airadi and Alex then began circling each other, each with a sadistic smile plastered on their face.

"I like pointy things! I like pointy things!" Airadi sang menacingly.

"I will shank you! I will shank you!" Alex also chanted with a sinister laugh.

"Stop it!" Poopie shouted but Alex and Airadi ignored him. "Someone will get hurt!"

"That's the point, doofus." Airadi snapped.

"Guys, seriously." Joe spoke up. "We're gonna get in trouble. This is stupid."

"Shut the hell up!"

The two enemies continued circling each other, neither one making a move. Without warning, Alex charged at Airadi, swinging his knife. Airadi backed away just as Alex's blade grazed across the skin of her shoulder. Blood trickled down her arm and stained her clothes.

"Blya!" She swore as she grabbed her shoulder. "Damn you!"

Alex cackled evilly. "Nyaaa!"

"Alex! Stop!" Joe ran forward and held his friend back. Airadi seized her chance.

"Surprise attack!" She yelled as she punched Alex in the stomach. He groaned as he fell to the ground.

"Mwuahahaha!" Airadi towered over her victim. "Epic fail. Loser!"

Alex was about to take the arm Airadi was offering to him when she quickly pulled it back. "PSYCHE! HAHAHAHA!"

"Very funny."

"Here, I'm serious this time." She held out a bottle with a large label reading: Natural Spring Water.

"Thanks." Alex took it gratefully as he chugged the liquid down. Airadi was now smiling ear-to-ear. "What the hell are you smiling about?"

The label on the bottle began peeling off, revealing a second label underneath. Alex almost choked, for staring back at him was a large, red label with one word. 'ANTHRAX.'

"Damn..." He muttered as his hands fell. "You're good..." He then fell on his back.

"ALEX!" Joe yelped as he shook his friend. "Say something! Alex!"

"Joe..." His whisper was almost inaudible. "Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man. I am peppered, I warrant, for this world..."

Joe bit back tears. "Alex. What's happening? Alex!"

Alex gave a weak laugh. "A plague on both your houses! They have made worms' meat out of me...I have it, and soundly too. Your houses!"

"Huh?" Joe asked quietly.

"You idiot!" Alex choked out. "I've cursed you all! I hope you and the rest of the Roses and Hunters get SARS! DIE!" His body then went limp, leaving him lifeless on the sand.

"Al...Alex?! ALEX!" Joe stuttered.

"He's dead, you dumbass." Airadi smirked.

"N-n...NO! NO!" Joe shook his head violently. "IT'S NOT TRUE!"

"Yeah, it is."

"No it isn't!"

"Yep."

"NO! ALEX! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Joe's pleads could be heard all across the town. The day past and night came. Then night passed and day came. Then it happened again. And again. And again. And...again...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Joe had screamed non-stop, his voice now growing very raspy and hoarse.

"DUDE! SHUT UP ALREADY!" Airadi said through clenched teeth.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Ugh." Airadi picked up the bottled water from the ground and took a large sip. Joe and Poopie froze, staring at Airadi in shock.

"What?" She followed their gaze towards the bottle in her hand and widened her eyes. One word jumped out at her. Anthrax.

"Ah, shit." She fell to the ground, instantly dying.

Joe and Poopie gazed at the two lifeless forms before them in silence. Poopie snapped out of his daze and looked over at Joe.

"Joe, away! Be gone! The citizens are up and Airadi is slain! Stand not amazed, the queen will doom thee to death. If thou art taken, hence, be gone!"

"What?" Joe started at Poopie confused.

Poopie sighed. "RUN AWAY!"

Joe wiped his eyes and backed away, running away from the scene as fast as his legs could carry him. This left Poopie all alone by the seashore, feeling utterly lost. What would he tell the queen?

As if on cue, Queen Cindy walked onto the beach, scanning the scene before her.

"What the...what the hell happened here?" She demanded. "Why are Alex and Airadi dead?"

"I...uh...um..." Poopie fumbled nervously. He was deathly afraid of the queen. "Je...mange le bikini?"

"What the...spit it out! Before I kick your ass..."

"JOE!" He cringed.

"...Joe?" The queen came closer. "Are you saying Joe Hunter did all this?"

"Ye-yes."

"You aren't lying to me, are you Poopie?" The queen questioned in a low, cruel voice.

"No, ma'am. Joe did it. He killed them. He killed them both."

"Hmm..." Queen Cindy began to ponder. She then noticed Poopie still staring at her and snarled. "That are you still doing here? SCRAM!"

"Eek!" Poopie gasped as he ran off.

"Finally, that loser's gone!" She exclaimed as she turned towards her personal servant. "I'm hungry."

"Uh...your majesty...your relative is dead..." Her servant pointed towards Alex's lifeless body. Queen Cindy stared blankly at her servant.

"So? What's your point?"

The servant sighed in dismay and he proceeded to get the queen some food.

Joe stood in the Roses' orchard once again, waiting to speak to Mimi.

"This time, I have to find the right window..." He mused aloud as he neared the mansion.

As he neared the window he had throw the baseball at last time, he stiffened and rushed past it, going to the window a few meters away. This window was located at a balcony, slightly ajar. Joe could easily see the back of Mimi's petite figure. She seemed to be citing something to herself, her melodic voice vibrating through the silence of the night.

"Joseph, oh Joseph, wherefore art though, Joseph? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Rose!"

Joe did not know what to say to this. His heart beat fast as he heard every single word she said.

"I need to speak to her," He thought as he picked up a rock from the ground.

"This better work this time..." He said as he raised his arm. "Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon!" Joe threw the rock at the window. The rock hit the window with a light 'plink' but Mimi did not turn around. Joe sighed as he picked up another rock and threw it at the window once again.

Without looking if Mimi heard or not, Joe quickly picked up another rock and threw it, but gasped at the sight. Mimi had now come out of her room and onto the balcony. Unfortunately, Joe had thrown the rock before noticing this. The rock hit Mimi square on the forehead.

"Ow!" She gasped as she put a hand to where the rock hit her.

"Shit!" Joe cursed as he climbed up the nearby vines and got up to the balcony. He stood on the ledge and called out to his love. "Mimi!"

"Hey, Mimi. Sorry the sushi didn't turn out as good as it could've, but-" A deep voice came from behind the curtains of the window. It was a male figure, dressed in a nurse's outfit, carrying a platter of sushi. His eyes widened as he spotted Joe, dropping the plate of sushi.

Momo pointed accusingly at Joe. "PEEPING TOM!" He screeched as he charged at a surprised Joe, tackling him off of the balcony. Both Momo and Joe flew off the balcony and plummeted down to the ground, several feet beneath them.

Mimi squeaked as she helplessly watched them.

Joe managed to untangle himself from Momo's grasp as he dashed away from him. He looked back to see Momo running faster towards him, a menacing look in his brown eyes.

"Holy shit!" Joe pushed himself to go faster, but there was no use. Momo easily tackled Joe from behind and immediately began punching him in the face repeatedly.

"No!" Mimi shrieked in horror, causing Momo to look up in surprise.

"No?!" He demanded angrily. "What do you mean no?"

At that moment, Joe got a hold of his strength and punched Momo square in the face.

"Ack!" Momo fell backwards, letting Joe get to his feet. He then began running back to the balcony and climbing the vines once again.

Momo got back to his senses. "Oh no you don't!" He lunged forward and pulled Joe back down, punching him once again.

"Momo! Stop!" Mimi pleaded. "He's a friend!"

Momo froze as he narrowed his eyes at Mimi. "Friend?"

"Yes!"

"Whatever. Fine." Momo let go of Joe's shirt and Joe immediately took his chance to get to Mimi.

"Mimi!" Joe breathed as he ran up to the balcony where a surprised Mimi stood frozen. As soon as Joe arrived, he swept Mimi into his arms and the couple wrapped their arms around each other. "We're finally reunited..."

"Oh, Joey..." Mimi held him tighter.

"By the way," Joe whispered into her ear, "It's not Joseph. It's just Joe."

This caused Mimi to giggle and the mushiness would have continued, but was stopped short by Momo clearing his throat loudly. The couple broke apart and stared at him quizzically.

"I'm still down here you know!" Momo crossed his arms. "And get a room!" He stomped off back into the mansion.

The couple blushed as they stared at each other awkwardly. Finally, Joe spoke.

"My...love..."

Mimi quickly shook her head as she pulled farther away from him.

"Oh, Joeyboo! I...can't. I'm getting married!" Tears began to form in Mimi's eyes.

"Yes," Joe replied cockily. "To me. I know."

"No! To someone else!"

At this, Mimi could hear Joe's sharp intake of breath.

"What?!?" He cursed. "But...I thought you loved me! What's this about other men?"

"I do love you! It's just that...my dad..."

"You're marrying your dad?" Joe asked incredulously.

"WHAT?! NO! No..." Mimi fumbled. "He's...making me marry some otaku!"

"Otaku?"

"A GEEK!"

There was a long silence and all that could be heard between the two was the rustle of leaves and the occasional cricket. Finally, Joe spoke up.

"I...guess..." He cleared his throat. "Congrats, then."

Mimi glared. "What?!?" She sighed loudly as she began pacing. "If I get married, we can't be together!" She then stopped to stare deep into Joe's eyes.

Realization hit Joe as his jaw dropped in horror.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

There was another silence until Joe filled it once again. "Don't worry, Mimi! We'll elope!"

Mimi blinked. "Doesn't that only happen in movies and stories they post on sites like fictionpress?"

"Yes..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Oh, by the way," Joe added. "I killed your cousin and I'm banished from Maple."

"WHAT?!?"

"Well, technically, I didn't kill her. She kind of killed herself, but everyone thinks I did so I might as well go with the flow..."

"What?!?"

"Stop it!" Joe shouted, irritated.

Mimi clenched her teeth. "Fine! You...you...you...PERSON!"

"You still love me though, right?"

"Yeah..."

Suddenly, footsteps sounded from the hall outside Mimi's room; accompanied by male humming.

Mimi's eyes widened. "My dad!" She hissed.

"Damn..." Joe grabbed Mimi's wrists and looked deep into her dark brown orbs. "Love goes toward love as schoolboys from their books. But love from love, toward school with heavy looks. My love..."

Mimi shook her head wildly. "Joe! You have to go! My dad!"

"How silver sweet sound lovers' tongues by night, like the softest music to attending ears!"

Mimi glared, but went along with Joe's poetry. "Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow."

"Sleep dwell upon thine eyes..."

The couple hugged one last time before Joe hurriedly jumped over the balcony and disappeared into the night.

The next morning, Joe walked into the nearby church, ready to see Suchi, the town priest.

"Suchi, I'm in trouble!" He said as he came in.

Suchi, draped in her robe, turned around to look at Joe in dismay. "Oh yeah. Heard about what happened. I can't believe you killed Airadi."

"Blah, whatever. It doesn't matter. I've been banished from Maple but I can't leave! I love Mimi and...I don't know how my life would be without her!"

"Whoa...what?! You love Mimi?!?"

Joe slapped a hand to his forehead. "Look, Suchi, I really don't need to deal with this right now."

"Right, right. Anyways, why don't you go hang out with the hobos for a while? I doubt anyone will find you then. After all, Maple's a pretty big place..."

Joe looked at Suchi hesitantly. "But...won't the hobos recognize me?"

Suchi chuckled loudly. "You're kidding me, right? Now get out of here. You smell."

Joe pulled the hood of his sweater over his head tightly. He rocked back and forth in the little box by the side of the road he had found. All of a sudden, a hobo in ratty clothing approached him and looked down at Joe blankly.

"Hey..." The hobo pointed a finger at Joe. "Aren't you that guy that's banished?"

Joe reached into his pocket and withdrew a fork. "Don't say a word..." He looked at the hobo menacingly. "Or else...I'll poke you!"

"...Right." The hobo turned around and walked away; mumbling to himself about hormonally unstable teenage boys.

Meanwhile, the Rose family sat in their living room, mourning the death of Airadi.

"I can't believe this happened..." Monica frowned. "Those Hunters...always ruining everything!"

At this, Matt seemed to anger even more. He banged his fists on the nearby coffee table and rose from his seat.

"That's it!" He looked directly at Mimi. "You're marrying Dennis in two days!"

"What?" Mimi rose to her feet as well. "Two days? Why?!"

Matt simply shrugged. "I dunno. Seemed appropriate..."

Mimi pouted. "Make it three?"

"I can't. I already told Dennis."

"Please?" Mimi whimpered. "Three days, daddy?"

"Well..." Matt sighed, scratching his chin. Mimi looked hopeful for a second until Matt smirked. "No! Two days!"

"Ugh, Matt..." Monica scolded her husband. "Why do you have to be such a jerk?"

"Hey!" Matt raised his voice. "I'm not being a jerk! I'm just doing what's right!"

"Oh please. Like you would know what's right or wrong..."

"You know what's wrong?" Matt began ranting endlessly. "Having a wife, whom you've been married to for over fifteen years, that won't SHOWER WITH YOU!"

Monica raised an eyebrow. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything!"

"That doesn't make sense!"

"You don't make sense!"

"You jerk! Stop yelling at me!"

"You started it!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"WILL YOU STOP IT ALREADY?!?" Mimi suddenly burst out. "YOU'RE BOTH WRONG!"

Without sparing her parents a glance, Mimi ran up the stairs, locking herself in her room. After a few seconds of silence, Matt and Monica got over the shock of being yelled at by their daughter.

"I'm hungry." Matt said.

"Me too." Monica agreed. "Let's make food."

"Kay."

"I don't wanna marry Dennis!" Mimi cried, throwing a pillow at the wall.

Momo continuously spun around in Mimi's office chair, picking at his nails. He had quietly been listening to Mimi's banter for the past few minutes, but finally decided to cut in.

"He isn't that bad, you know." He shrugged. "I mean, if you dyed his hair blond, wore different coloured contacts, and got a tan, he'd be pretty decent."

Mimi swivelled around at Momo and pouted. "Momo!"

"What? If I was you, I'd just marry Dennis and pretend Joe's dead. I mean, he's not that hot anyways..." After a few seconds, Momo reconsidered. "Okay, maybe he is just a little. But who cares about that pedo?"

"He's not a pedo!"

"Fine. Suit yourself." After one last satisfying spin in Mimi's chair, Momo left her room.

"Ugh..." Mimi buried her face in her pillow and screamed.

The next day, Mimi had decided that she had to take things into her own hands. She traveled to the town's church to meet with Suchi.

"Oh, Suchi!" Mimi cried. "I don't know what to do! I can't marry Dennis! Help me!"

"Hey, don't worry." Suchi assured her. "I always kept these for an emergency."

Walking to a nearby drawer in her office, Suchi pulled out a bottle of pills. Mimi stared at Suchi in confusion.

"They're sleeping pills." Suchi explained as she placed the bottle in Mimi's opened palm. "Take them tomorrow morning, and everyone will think you're dead. That way, Joe can come and get you at your funeral and you two can elope!"

Mimi brightened. "Suchi! That's brilliant!"

"I know." Suchi remarked proudly. "Anyways, I'll send someone to give Joe the message. By this time tomorrow, you'll be out of that house."

"Thank you! I'll always be indebted to you, Suchi!" Mimi ran off, eager to try the new plan.

Suchi smiled to herself as she thought over what had just happened. "I don't know how I do it sometimes..." She then froze for a second. "Wait. Who do I send to deliver the message?"

As if on cue, a hobo walked by Suchi's window. She quickly ran over and called to him. "Oi, you there! Hobo! You wanna deliver a message?"

"Oh my god!" Momo stabled himself against the dresser of Mimi's room. He stared across at the lifeless form of the Roses' daughter. "MIMI'S DEAD!" He called the Monica. "MONICA! HELP ME!"

"Blech." Joe walked down the busy streets of Maple. He felt tired of living in his ratty clothing, but couldn't take any chances.

"Hey! Joe!" He heard a familiar voice call from across the street. He looked up to see Poopie running towards him.

"Hey, Joe. I just heard something really funny. Wanna hear?" He giggled.

Joe blinked tiredly. "Bleh, sure."

"Okay, well I heard from this hobo and other random people, that Mimi Rose died."

Joe stiffened and turned around the face his friend. "What...did you say?" Joe said through clenched teeth.

"Uh..." Poopie stuttered. "People said that Mimi Rose was dead? But that's not the funny part. Listen, she-"

It was too late. Joe had already run over to an nearby motorcyclist.

"I need this!" Joe shouted as he knocked the cyclist off his bike. Stealing his helmet, Joe climbed onto the bike and sped off without warning. This left the poor cyclist on the road, cussing in disappointment.

"JOE!" Poopie shouted in panic. "Wait! Come back! She's not dead!"

"Halt!" Dennis screeched in the middle of the road at the approaching Joe.

Joe continued driving forward, causing Dennis to falter. "STOP, FREAK!"

Joe hit the brake as hard as possible as he screeched to a stop in front of Dennis.

"What did you call me?" Joe spat.

"Freak?" Dennis squeaked.

"Do I even know you?"

"No...but I've seen your picture in this magazine." Dennis held up a recent issue of a popular teen magazine, pointing to a picture of Joe stepping out of a limousine. "My sister thinks you're hot," Dennis continued. "Can I take a picture with you?"

"Uh...sure?"

Dennis quickly ran over to Joe's side, holding out a camera. He quickly snapped a picture, leaving Joe dazed by the flash.

"Facebooked!" Dennis stuck out his tongue. "I'm so tagging you!"

"Err...right."

"And now that that's over," Dennis smirked as he tossed the camera aside. "I'm gonna kill you."

"What the hell? But I don't even know you!"

"Oh, well then let me introduce myself. My name's Dennis." Dennis bowed slightly. "Your worst nightmare and number one fan." Dennis then took out a tooth pick from his pocket and stared at Joe sadistically.

"DIE YOU VILE FIEND!" Dennis began poking Joe nonstop in the arm. "DIE!"

"Ugh. I don't have time for this!" Joe grabbed the toothpick from Dennis' hand and snapped it easily in half.

Dennis widened his eyes. "No!" He took out another toothpick and began running around Joe frantically. "No, no, no, no, n-" Dennis immediately stopped as he tripped over a rock, causing the toothpick to slip from his fingers. His mouth wide open, the toothpick easily lodged in his throat, suffocating him.

"G-g-gah!" Dennis choked to death, falling lifelessly to the ground.

Joe stared at Dennis' limp, lifeless form, dumbfounded. "What the hell just happened?"

"MURDERER!" A voice yelled out from an alleyway. Joe turned his head to see a hobo glaring at him.

"What the hell?" He cursed. "Who are you? Why do strange people keep appearing?"

As if on cue, a young man with bright blue eyes and long, blond hair dancing near him. "Hello darling!" He sang. "You look like you need a hug!"

"Gah!" Joe hit the gas and sped off, leaving the blond man and hobo by themselves.

"...Wait..." Realization hit the hobo. "Shit. That guy on the motorcycle was the guy I needed to deliver that message to..." He shrugged. "Oh well."

The hobo turned to the blond man and smiled widely. "I need a hug."

The blond man gasped. "No way!" He cried, running away. "You're a stinky poo!"

"Hey!" The hobo called after him. "Hobos need love too!"

"My love!" Joe kneeled down beside's Mimi's bed. He had entered the Rose mansion undetected and stared lovingly at his lover's corpse. A tear fell down his cheek as he realized Mimi would never come back to him.

"Oh my love!" He cried. "Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty. Thou art not conquer'd; beauty's ensign yet, is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks, and death's pale flag is not advanced there."

Joe grabbed a nearby pen and paper, beginning to jot down a quick letter to Mimi. "I can't live life without my love. I must let her know that I will join her soon..."

Joe removed the cap from his pen and began writing. He read the words aloud to himself as he wrote quickly.

"Dearest Mimi,

When I first doth laid mine eyes upon thee, thy beauty outshone but the glorious sun. Even though I will be blinded it I stare at it too long and even though it gives me a nasty rash thing on my arm. Also, UV radiation ain't that great. It gives you cancer. But anyways, worry not my love! You are dead. I shall join you soon, as road kill...on highway 407.

Love, Joe. "

After setting down the pen and paper, Joe jumped out of the window, running back to his unattended motorcycle. Hopping on, he rode off towards his destination.

Mimi rubbed her eyes tiredly as she woke up.

"That was weird..." She remarked to herself as she looked around the room. Her eyes froze upon an envelope left by her bedside. She opened it and immediately recognized Joe's messy scrawl. Skimming through it, her heart leapt.

"Oh my gosh!" Mimi gasped. "UV rays? What the heck? Rashes? Road kill? Oh my god! My Joeybooooo!"

Mimi jumped out of bed and out climbed out of the mansion from her window. "Don't worry, Joe. I'm coming for you!"

After reaching the road, Mimi hollered at the top of her lungs. "TAXI!"

Just in time, a taxi, blaring loud Indian music, parked by Mimi. Mimi hurriedly pulled open the door and climbed it, revealing an Asian man at the wheel.

"Hey, baby." The driver said in a thick, Indian accent. "Teach my English, huh?"

Mimi raised an eyebrow. "Why do you have an Indian accent when you're Asian"

"Is that a crime?" The driver countered.

Mimi pointed at his large moustache. "Is that even real facial hair?"

"Stop getting so damn personal!" The driver screeched, Indian accent completely gone. He then quickly scrunched up his nose and changed back into the Indian accent. "Anyways, where to, baby?"

"Bridge over Highway 407," Mimi mumbled.

"Okie, dokie!" The driver pulled away from the curb.

"Oh, by the way." Mimi added. "What's that thing attached to your rear view mirror?"

"Ah." The driver wiggled his eyebrows. "It's for good karma!"

He then sped off towards Mimi's destination.

Joe stood on the ledge of the bridge, overlooking the busy highway that was known as Highway 407.

"I guess this is it..." He recited. "The doors of breath, sealed with a righteous kiss. A dateless bargain to engrossing death! Come, bitter conduct, come unsavoury guide!"

He began to take a step but then halted himself.

"Oh Mimi..." He cried. "I cannot imagine a world without you! Our love is nothing like anyone else's. Neither your parents, nor mine. ...Especially mine! I mean, my mom's in love with Pocky for goodness sakes! I bet she loves it more than my dad! And my dad...is such a wimp! He's scared of my mom? What kind of father do I have? No wonder I'm so screwed up! Ugh, he should just give my mom Pocky so she'll love him more and stop being so obsessed. But then that would lead to mushiness between them and that's disgusting! Wait..." Joe shook his head. "Why the hell should I care? I'm gonna die anyways."

Hesitating a moment longer, he finally decided to go on with the jump.

"Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on," Joe recited. "The dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark! Here's to my love!"

Joe began to take a step, but was interrupted by a shrieking female voice.

"Joe! No!"

"Oh god..." Joe sniffed. "I can still hear her beautiful voice...goodbye world!"

"Joe! I'm right here!"

Joe turned around to see a panicking Mimi running towards him.

"Ugh!" Joe ground his teeth. "Can't you see I'm trying to jump here? Stop interrupting my emo moment!"

"But why?!?" Mimi demanded.

"Because!" Joe shouted. "You're dead!" He then closed his eyes and leapt off the bridge.

"Joe! NO!" Mimi cried.

Suddenly, realization hit Joe as he looked up at Mimi. "SHIT!" He commenced falling off the bridge. Luckily, a garbage truck seemed to drive by right under him, causing him to land in a pile of garbage. He sighed in relief.

"Joe!" Mimi jumped off the bridge and landed next to Joe, crying in joy. "Oh, Joey!" The two wrapped their arms around each other, holding one another tightly. "I thought you were dead!"

"Hey!" Mimi and Joe turned their heads up the sudden shout from the top of the bridge. They both gasped as they realized all members of both the Roses and the Hunters were present.

"Mimi!" Monica was red with anger. "You are so dead when we get down there! Literally! I'm going to kurt you!"

This caused everyone to look at Monica quizzically.

"What?" She blinked. "I was going to say kill but then started saying hurt near the middle."

"Right." Matt raised a brow.

There was silence until there was a sudden humming in the sky. Everyone turned their heads up and gawked at a missile coming towards them.

"Oh, look." Monica pointed out in a monotone voice. "It's a nuke."

"Yay." Matt replied just as monotonously.

"Oh my god!" May began to panic. "The radiation will ruin my Pocky!"

"You think of Pocky at a time like this?!?" Momo asked incredulously.

"WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?!?" James wailed just as the nuke hit them.

BOOM!

And those were the last words that were heard from the Roses and the Hunters.

...Nah. Just kidding!

After the nuclear bomb had cleared, all the Roses and Hunters had mutated and survived the radiation. Monica finally had a shower with Matt and May finally loved James.

As for Mimi and Joe...

...Well, let's just say they had a lot of mutant babies!

THE END!

A/N: Thank you to all that have read and even reviewed Star-Crossed Stupidity! This was a modern twist on the original 'Romeo and Juliet' written by Shakespeare. Hope you all liked it and we would really appreciate any reviews!

Disclaimer: Although this was a parody, we have nothing against 'Romeo and Juliet' by Shakespeare and did not mean to offend in any way. The original play does not belong to us and in no way do we own it.

Also, please don't sue us for the following use of the following items: Pocky, Microsoft, Organic Lip Balm, Facebook, Fictionpress, and any original dialogue used from Romeo and Juliet.

We also don't recommend death by toothpicks or anything like that o__O This story was written purely for fun and if there are any real companies called "Rose Industries" and "Hunter Corporations" we don't own them!

So yeah, review please!