you never ever called me

sweet, so i glazed my skin with

sugar. it crusted over my scabbed

and scarring wrists and…oh.

it burnsandburnsandburns. like

hell, but then again…i love the pain.

that's why i love you, right?


you never ever called me

sweet, so i took a syringe to my

sugar-frosted skin and injected

myself with thick, sticky syrups.

right there, right in my too small

veins that rope around my wrists

like thin strips of blue licorice, right

fucking there. now i am bloated and

somewhat beautiful with all the

sweetness that runs through my blood.


you never ever called me

sweet, so i painted my face with frosting,

dipped my tongue in chocolate, slicked

my hair with caramel, and snorted all

of the powdered sugar that i could,

only to have you run your tongue

against my sugar-sweet ear and

whisper in a tone just dripping with

honey,

"i never liked 'em sweet."

"you never loved me when i was sour or bitter or bland either."

"no matter what, sweetie," he breathed,

inhaling my saccharine skin,

"i will never love you."


3.4.09