"Here I'll stand"
I've been fixed here for hours
Days, maybe months
I can't recall the number of violently brilliant sunsets
And soft morning dawns
Or blinking twilight stars
That my probing green eyes—skylights to my thoughts and vulnerabilities—
Have witnessed
This same spot
Upon which I am rooted to
Chained to
Under the trance of unknowing ambiguity
And my voice, hoarse from the plead, the question that I need
To hear the answer to
To gain the proof so that I am not blind or misguided
And you—just you
Can answer—probably in a word
Maybe two
A sentence at worse to satisfy
And yet, I receive omnipresent silence
While begging for sound
The moral castles that I have built
Disintegrate without solid foundation
Taken over by vines; disregarded
Because perhaps it doesn't matter
Or perhaps it's not worth the effort to clip
Or perhaps it is none of those
Perhaps they are simply not worth the upkeep of honesty.
I gather the strength one last time
Pray for the answer
I'm weary from the journey, when living in an illusion is finally
Blurred together with the truth
I long for the distinct line—the line that there should be
The one that parts fiction from reality
Is it all make-believe?
Is there even such a thing as 'real'?
But there is only one question I can ask
I push all others away and sum it all up into one:
"Is anyone genuine here?"
And does this mean nothing to everyone?
Doesn't anyone else care?
And finally, clutching to the back of whispering wind, there is an answer
On wings that have carried legitimacy far from here
The one which catches my breath in my throat
The one answer that causes all other questions to die on my lips
With the tone, the melancholy hurt juxtaposed against the slow current of hope--held all in one reciprocal:
"That's the question, isn't it?"
And I know—aware this time on my own accord—
This isn't an inquiry, but the answer I searched for
And I can't help but think
Wonder…
Contemplate…
Imagine in a moment of blind conformity, even…
Why this hasn't been asked before.
And here I'll stand
Despite the encroaching tide
And watch the outcome
For the current to either save or erode the dilapidated castle
For the reply to my musings
For the proof that it is not all the same
Not all imaginary
For the proof that the invented
Could produce truth