Blood became a game,
as did ignoring cries of pain
before you took me in your arms
away from faeries
I was married to
last summer.

Black lace hugging curves
against the curb
where I was dying
with the trash,
blank eyes thriving on your lightness
like a whiteness born of bleach
and shallow beaches
filled with sun;
you were the one
I could have loved,
but I was lost.

Clip my wings,
those devilish things
fluttering fanatically for freedom
I don't want,
don't need but greed is beckoning
with empty afternoons,
the reckoning that I can entertain
myself.

And if you whisper
that I'm yours
you'll find the open shores
of eternity splayed out
inside me,
all I need is confidence
to form the words;
I heard the way you sighed
when I was lying,
sanctifying sacrilegious insults
to your dignity—
but I was wrong,
I don't belong
beside your heart.

Keep me close,
I want to know your secrets
and the fears you crawl behind
when you're frightened to unwind
and be my lover,
there's no other with your strength
to bend my faith
into something less conceivable
but still so real.

I want to feel,
rescind the grievances
we filed in contempt,
I can't resent a soul so cavernous
as you.

But I never knew.