Waters in our life
I was at the canteen eating my packed lunch with my best friends beside me. We've been together since elementary and now that we're in high school, we're still a team.
Another day came and the bell rang for it was lunch time. I went out the classroom with a smile because yet again, ALGEBRA time ended. Brinda stood there by the shoe rack, glaring at me, though I don't even know why. I allowed her to go on ahead before I changed my shoes.
On our way to the canteen, I forced myself to ask Alexis about this matter.
"Hey Alexis? Do you have any idea…? Does Brinda…?" I sighed first before I continued. "Is Brinda mad at me?"
"I'm sorry, but I don't have any idea… The last thing she said to me before she left us was. 'I'm having a little difficulty breathing around Mitch… I'll have my space for a while.' something like that."
"Hmmm…" I just lowered my head and looked at my feet as I walked. Alexis patted my shoulder for support.
"Do want me to try and ask her?"
"That'll be of burden to you. It's okay. And it's better if I talk to her myself."
I couldn't help but wonder if there was something… A thing, I did wrong for her to be glaring at me like that.
"Mitch? Hey Mitch… It's already time."
I stared down at my food, about ¼ empty.
"Oh… Shoot! I haven't finished my lunch!"
"Is everything alright?"
"I'm fine, go on ahead. I'll just finish this."
"But you're not even at half…"
"I'm okay, go. You're going to be late. Go."
She walked away looking back at me worriedly but I just smiled. I've been troubled by Brinda's stare… By my best friend's stare that's why I wasn't able to eat that well.
I was in time before the bell rang, my stomach hurt a bit because of running after I ate. Sir Rafael was kind enough to allow me to go to the clinic for 30 minutes of his time.
I came back and they were talking about stress management. I just stood by the door so that I won't disturb the discussion, but he gestured me towards my seat and smiled. Alexis looked at me and murmured in her mouth "hey" and I smiled back at her.
I placed my hand under my chin when I reached my seat and that's when I started staring out in space.
"…If you carry your burdens all the time, sooner or later, the burden becomes increasingly heavy, you won't be able to carry on. Miss Mitch, would you like to explain further?"
I'm dead, once he asked a student to explain further, he wouldn't let go until the student answered... Okay, uhm, the last thing I heard was "the burden becomes increasingly heavy; you won't be able to carry on"… ahh! I know.
"It's like, uhm… a plastic cup without anything in it. Y-yes, that's it."
"Please explain more further for our sake madame." Everyone started giggling.
"Once you placed it outside, then it gets blown by the wind, it tumbles down quickly, right?"
I scanned around the room so that I can express the things that I was saying. Brinda was there, looking at me, not glaring… but simply looking.
"Once you placed a thing in there, a rock, a piece of marble, or just simply water… Just for it to be the plastic cup's helping hand, it can hold on stronger… If you put it in reality, we also need a helping hand to be able to hold on stronger. A friend, a best friend, more likely that can accompany you, that will share with you what he or she feels towards you, your misunderstandings, your secrets, your happy moments… All things about you, to at least lessen it, the burdens you carry."
I looked at her again but she wasn't looking. She was staring down, fist tightly clenched.
"Wouldn't you think so too?"
Almost everyone nodded, Brinda still the same, Alexis smiling at me… and Sir Rafael having his tight grin.
"Very well said, Mitch… You may sit down now, anyone else who would like to share?"
The day was finished and I'm glad it was… Now I'm afraid of what might happen when I ran into Brinda.
"Hey Mitch, I'll be going now, do you need any help with your things?"
"Nah, I'm fine. Thanks anyway… Well said... You too yourself have a lot of things to carry."
We both laughed.
"Well, I'll see you later tiger."
"See yah alligator."
Before I could get my lunch bag, someone grabbed me by my elbow and turned me gently to face her.
"Are you busy?"
"Uhm, no… I'm alright."
Brinda walked all the way to the canteen looking down at her feet. She bought ice cream with a smile but it quickly faded.
"Look, I've been… Jealous of you… For these past years I've been with you because, I wanted to be noticed… to be visible to everyone. I unattached myself to the group because I was… I was guilty... Guilty for toying with you, toying with Alexis… And I'm—"
"I don't have everything and I'm not really popular… You may have thought that I have things in the perfect way, when the truth is, nothings perfect in my life… My parents separated when I was 5 and they sent me to my grandmother, my grandmother died when I was 10 so I was placed in an orphanage because no one wanted to accept me and I'm adopted by my new family now… I don't have any siblings to play with nor to share my secrets with. To talk about school and stuff like that… I'm not smart in studies but I have my IQ. I live everyday with a smile when all I want to do is to brake down and cry… There are some things we really can't understand, things we can't hold on to anymore… that's why I have you… The both of you… I have my waters to fill me up whenever I'm tumbling down and about to fall."
The discussion ended with her looking at me, eyes filled with little droplets that are falling down her blushing cheeks…