47—A Girl Named Dot—47

"Well, I didn't get a puppy, but I did get a Roomba."

"Are you being serious?"
I lifted my head off of Eddie's lap and grinned. "Bitch, of course I'm being serious. It's so awesome. I've already let it go. It's adorable. It vrooms around the kitchen and when it's done, it docks itself and plays this little ditty. It's cute and it doesn't poop."

"Who gave that to you?"

"Dad. I was trying to figure out if it was his subtle way of telling me I need to be cleaner."

Eddie laughed. In a few hours we'd be going to The Smoke to host our New Year's party and everyone would be invited, even the miserable drunks who were our regulars. For now, we were appreciating the post-Christmas lull on the couch in Eddie's living room, my head on his thigh.

"Did Peaches tell you anything about me and Miguel?" I asked Eddie cautiously.

"Hm? What would he know?"

Clearly Peaches was better at keeping secrets than me. "Miguel and I did the deed."

Eddie stared ahead for a moment; then it hit him. "Get out! Really? And? Tell me all about it!"

"It went better than I expected. Not perfect or anything but . . . yeah."

"Oh Dot, I'm so proud of you." It was hard for him to hug me in this position, so he leaned down and kissed my forehead. "What a trooper you are."

"I can't say it wasn't worth all the angst, but it's a huge weight off my chest."

"Dot, you sound like you're talking about paying off your credit card bill, not making love to your amor."

I chuckled. "Yeah, I should probably work on my delivery."

"So I want to know what happened."


Eddie rolled his eyes. "Thanks."

"Just—I just bought some nice underwear and showed up at his place. Told him I was ready for it. And so we did it. Not much to say."

"You used protection?" God, he looked like Meghan as looked down at me shrewdly.


"Just making sure."

"You have no right to lecture me on condoms, Mr. Sometimes-I-Forget."

"I won't get pregnant."

"No, you'll just get AIDS. Then you'll die."

"AIDS isn't lethal anymore. At least, not if you can afford the medication."

"Eddie, you're missing the point." I paused. "Do you and Peaches. . .?"

"We've both been tested."

"Oh. Good, I guess." I didn't really like thinking about it. Which was funny, in a way. Eddie posed all these questions about my sex life and I posed none. I was an awful fag hag. Seriously.

"Oooh, what if you and Miguel have a baby someday? That would be so adorable."

"Ew, no. No babies. Ever."

"You say that now . . ."

"You sound like Meghan. Stop it. The last thing the world needs is more of my genes."

"Oh hush, you've got lovely genes. So does Miguel."

"We'd have the shortest babies ever."

We both laughed. Then the laughter died, and we returned to comfortable silence. Eddie's hand swept over my hair, as if he were petting a dog. I didn't mind. I liked it.

"I'd love to be a godmother," Eddie finally said. "I'd spoil the shit out of those kids."

"You should just get your own then."

"Easier said than done. Plus I don't want to ruin my beautiful figure."

I elbowed him in the side and he snickered.

There was a clicking, and then the front door opened, admitting Peaches. He was dressed in his usual dark T-shirt and ill-fitting jeans, dreadlocks folded into some stretchy black do-rag thing.

"Hello, darling," Eddie greeted, unfolding his legs and putting his slippered feet on the coffee table. "How was work?"

"Good. Hey, Dot."

I waved unenthusiastically.

"Should I be jealous?" he joked, probably referring to my head in Eddie's lap.

"Nah. Miguel's my main ho," I replied. "Eddie's just for weekends."

"It's Thursday."

"And Thursdays."

"She only likes me for my looks," Eddie said. "Are you hungry? There's some Veggie Burger casserole in the fridge for you."

Eddie slapped me lightly on the forehead. "Don't be mean."

"Veggie Burgers be nast-eh."

Peaches didn't seem to think so, because he vanished into the kitchen.

"My question is when do I get customized casseroles?"

"When you start being my live-in boyfriend."

I lifted myself to a sit and turned around to frown at him. "I would if I had a penis, and you know it." I stuck up my nose. "That's gender discrimination."

"Sex and gender discrimination." Eddie patted my thigh with a sweet smile. "But at least it's not because you're black."

"I hate you."
"I love you."

I pouted at him for a good three seconds before I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a bear hug. He made a little sound of surprise, but then hugged me back with a contented hum.

"I love you too," I told him.

We embraced for a good minute before Peaches ruined it.

"Whoa, ladies, get a room."

Eddie pulled off his slipper and threw it at him. With a laugh, Peaches dodged it and slid back into the kitchen.

"You know what I want right now?" I asked.



Eddie squeezed my ankle, which rested against his thigh. "Coming right up."

Then we went to the kitchen so that Eddie could make nachos and so that I could make fun of Peaches for his awful taste in faux-meat.

A/N: The End

Continue to Part 2 and 3 if you want to keep reading. Take note, however, that this whole story has been re-written and things have been changed, so if you encounter something in Parts 2 and 3 that was not in this story, don't think you're crazy. It's probably just because I haven't gotten around to fixing the other two parts yet. I will some day, however. :)

Reviews are love! If you want to see illustrations and such, go to my Deviantart page, linked on my profile. Thanks for reading! ^_^