This was it. I dreaded this moment. I could sense that change was coming; I could feel it in the air. Something bad would happen tonight, I knew it.
As I surveyed the scene before me, I wondered how I had become this involved. If I could go back and start again, would I change what had happened? I knew the answer in an instant.
I couldn't live without this; I would only ever change one thing and that was this moment. I would change the inevitability that tonight one or more of the people I loved would die.
They would die because of me. I brought them into the mess I had created, the one that I could never give up. True, some of them were a part of it long before I was. It wasn't something I had even expected to get into, not something I had even originally believed to be true. However, I had created this situation, the one where the ending would surely result in death.
There was no turning back now; I was in too deep.
I was going to have to face my fears and fight for my loved ones, fight with my loved ones. I could have dealt with this alone; none of them needed to help, they could get hurt.
Now they had made their decision and I no longer had a choice. They had chosen to become involved and risk their lives for me. I loved them so much; I wouldn't want to see them hurt. Tonight, I could face the possibility of their deaths, even the possibility of witnessing the deaths of those I loved.
Tonight, I would have one of two outcomes. I would live, or I would die.