Her petite hand slowly tracing the wrinkles creasing the warm, cream colored seats of her father's new limousine, Lila looked wistfully out the window, and endeavored to hear the music poring through her earphones. However, it became blaringly apparent that between her new stepmother's insidious giggle and her father's increasingly loud snort, this feat would once again prove impossible. Lila tried breathing through the irritation—she had once found amusement in comparing their constant presence to the pain of labor. But for some reason, the Lamaze breathing techniques weren't working for her.
Suddenly, Lila felt her foot begin to tap. This surprised her; she had always thought people who tapped were rather irksome. It's like, hello, are you trying to start an earthquake?
As the seconds dragged on, thought, her foot began to tap with more and more intensity; it even earned a few uncomfortable glances between the newlyweds. Finally, she stomped so loud that she was sure her foot had rattled the driver at the other end of the ten foot long limousine.
In all subsequent and frequent psyche sessions, Lila Peters could never fully explain why she had chosen that moment to begin her long and painful rebellion against her father. She had had other "barf-tastic" moments like this one before; in fact, she had grown quite accustomed to her new and silent role as the daughter of three parents (her mom, her dad, and the whore), but for some unfathomable reason, the reality of her new life sunk in and her heart wouldn't take it anymore.
Clenching her fists, she pulled out the earphones and gave her father and his new "wife" a look that murdered the mere thought of more teenager-like giggling.
Some scientists say that animals can instinctively predict when bad weather's a-brewin'. Let's just say that Hurricane Lila was on the rise and the cow—Mr. Peters— knew to run for cover.
Cautiously, he sent a warning look to Mrs. Bimbo Peters. Making no sudden movements, he drew his lips to her ear, and in a quiet whisper, told her to keep quiet until they reached the house.
When the driver parked in the garage, Lila did not wait for her door to be opened before storming out. But not without first having the satisfaction of slamming the metal door in Sunshine's delicately botoxed face.
For the first time, in what felt like ages, Lila didn't feel like a doormat. She felt that maybe she was finally ready for a little adventure. She just never thought she'd find the nerve back at Old D' Ranch.