in the darkness of night i feel
the return of anxiety--shortness
of breath, my chest constricting
forcing the air out in tiny thrusts
(the way you like it) my heart
slamming against my breast (the
way you want me) forcing my blood
through my body in hot spurts of
adrenaline, pushing againts my brain
sweat seeping down my back (give it
to me baby, i know you can do better)
ignoring the cold wind, my cheeks flush
and my throat is drier than petrified
wood--until i block out my fear and
forget that you're not here.

3.23.09