I held on to Jasey like my life depended on it. Because I knew hers did, I could feel it. I saw the same desperation in her that I once had in myself. I had nothing to hold on to when I was lost. I blew away, nothing stopping me from falling. But this was different. Jasey had me, I could help her. So I held her as tight as I could.

She wasn't going to be alone in this like I was. I knew how it felt to be that desperate and lost. I was going to keep her here, I was her only hope. And I wasn't going to let anything stop me from keeping her here. She needed to see that I was going to make it through this with her. I had every intention of going through this with her.

I pressed her head against my chest as she cried. I could almost feel the shadows grabbing at her feet, trying to take her with them. Their grey, curled fingers touched her ankles, one of the smoky hands grabbing her waist. I pulled her closer, wrapping my arms around her.

I felt tears running down my cheeks, I buried my head in her hair. Her pain was shooting through me like fire, every sob that racked her body made my heart clench in a fist. Her nails dug into my shirt, I could feel them tearing my skin. Her death grip on me was only getting tighter and tighter.

"It's okay, I'm here," I kept whispering, again and again. One time or another, those words would get through to her and the shadow would leave her be. I could almost feel the shadow licking at her face, trying to infect her mind. She could make it through this with my help, I knew it.

I was all alone when the shadow started to catch me; I wasn't going to let it get her. I knew how it felt to have everyone around you vanish. I knew what it felt like to be truly alone. To feel so worthless that the only answer is to vanish yourself. But Jasey didn't have to be alone, I wasn't going to let her fade away, not while she had me.

"J-Josh," She sobbed burying her head into my shirt. It was like she wanted to get under my skin.

"You can do this without him," I whispered, stroking her hair.

"I can't," She whispered back, loosening her grip on me. Her sobs reduced to crying, and then sniffling.

"Yes you can," I kept saying. She just shook her head into my chest, drying her eyes on my shirt. When her breathing turned back to normal, she finally looked up at me. Her dark makeup was smeared under her eyes.

"How can I keep doing this when half of me is missing?" She asked quietly, wiping her eyes, smearing her makeup even further down her cheeks.

"Because you don't need that other half. Just be the half that you are," I said, and she shook her head again, leaning it on my chest.

"I can't," She said so quietly that I almost missed it. I closed my eyes. She would learn how to live without Josh. She had to. Or one day he was going to be the death of her.

I continued to hold her as she quietly cried into my shirt. Then the bathroom door swung open, shedding some light on us.

"Where's the light?" I heard a girl giggle. I pulled Jasey off the floor and put my arms around her to keep her steady. She rested her head on my chest, her hand covering her face. The light turned on, and I squinted at the girl, who jumped a mile when she saw us. "Sorry, I didn't know someone was in here," She laughed.

"We were just leaving," I said, taking Jasey and walking out. The club was still empty except for a few people milling around, looking for something to do. I led Jasey outside and onto the street. I turned and looked at the long line of kid trailing down the wide sidewalk, waiting to get inside. They were all staring at us with judging eyes.

I pulled Jasey farther away from the kids' view and leaned down to look at her. Her black makeup was all over her face, her blue eyes were red and puffy. She was staring at nothing in particular, just anywhere but my eyes. "What can I do?" I asked quietly. Cars sped by on the street, music could be heard from the band who was sound-checking inside.

"I don't know," She whispered. When I felt the way she did, there was nothing anyone could do. Except take my mom away from my dad. The one thing she wanted me to do was bring Josh back.

"I can show you where the merch is," I said, and she finally looked up into my eyes. This time I was the one who looked away. Instead of seeing bright crystal blue, I saw a mirror of myself three years ago.

"Alright," She said with a heavy sigh. She stood up straight and used the sleeve of her sweatshirt to wipe her face. "Let's go," She said with a determined air to her voice. I led her inside once again, to the back of the venue where our merch table was set up.

"Are you going to be alright?" I asked her. Her face was a stone now.

"I'll be fine," She said shortly.

"Jasey," I sighed, taking a deep breath. She looked up at me with dead eyes. "Please stay clean tonight," I whispered. She was taken aback. "Don't drink, no drugs, please, they don't help," I said quietly. She stared at me for a few seconds longer, then she nodded. I started to walk away, but I felt a hand touch my arm.

"Thanks," She whispered, giving me a small nod. I nodded back, walking backstage, pulling my shirt over my head. I didn't want to explain to the other guys that my shirt was soaking wet from someone else's tears.

A/N- thanks for waiting so terribly long for this chapter. i havent forgotten or anything, i've just been busy living my life:) hope you liked it! i should be posting more regularly now, but i'm working on another story called "Hot Topic Sneezed On Me". look it up, i'm about halfway done with it at the moment. thanks for reading!