A/N: My health class is so pointless I have time to write quasi-epic poetry during it. Hurrah, public education. This kind of fell from my hand to my paper, my head had very little say. It's about a girl around twenty or so who had something tragic like rape or assault done to her so that she is afraid to sleep because of nightmares. It's as odd and sad as it sounds, but I won't spoil the end.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

I'm sitting on the couch trying not to sleep

Because if I close my eyes I know that I will dream

I pour another glass of gut-rot wine

I change the channel one more time

All my smokes are gone but I try and light the stubs

There's no life in anything so I go back to my drugs

I drink until I just pass out and wake up coughing blood

I think it was too many cigarettes or just not enough love

..

I had it all, I was on top of the world

The cold couldn't touch me when I was a little girl

I fell in love or maybe it was only desire

I could breathe underwater and walk through fire

But I was destroyed and my dreams were defaced

Thrown into the dust and quickly replaced

Death comes for everyone I hope it comes soon

I'm sitting here crying and watching the moon

..

I feel for my cigarettes but there are no more

And sometime around three there's a scratch on my door

It's Katie my friend with coffee and books

She sits me down and gives me one of those looks

I drink down the coffee and offer her tea

I forgot that I had it—it's been in the cupboard for weeks

I feel so hungover and my wrists are burning

I forgot that I cut them and the seams are hurting

She makes me wash them with water and soap

I'm scared of her eyes—they've almost lost hope

..

So we sit at the window and watch the sun rise

'Till it gets too high and shines into my eyes

But I don't go to bed 'cause I don't want to sleep

And Katie's got work so she gets up and leaves

And I'm all alone and I'm desperately sad

I could go buy more wine but Katie'd be mad

She deserves better friends than me and mine

I walk down the street and act like I'm fine

..

The park is dewy and shines in the light

The air smells like health after my drunken night

I lie under a tree and the grass cools my wrists

Under the branches there's yet some mist

I doze but don't dream under the cover of shade

My headache is finally starting to fade

Two little kids find me and call to their mum

"There's a girl who's sleeping, see her, just come!"

She laughs and humors them, walking my way

Then screams when she sees me and takes them away

I do like a freak, drunk and dressed all in black

A little bit bloody with grass on my back

I can guess why she thought I was there

Dirty and tired and for once I care

..

I need a shower and I need real sleep

But the dreams will come if I go too deep

It's pass out from drinking or take a quick nap

I'm stretched to the point where I'm going to snap

They say that people escape into memory

That's the last place that I want to be

Everything on the outside hides what's within

A bitter heart that's all stained with sin

A church would help and so would my friends

But I don't deserve them I just want this to end

So I'll go home and bandage up my wrists

'Cause I'm the only one who can save this masochist

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Wrote this a while ago, it's been sitting in my assignment book/planner thing for a few weeks.