I NEED A WOMAN

by Roderick Stewart

"I need a woman, Carl," I said, as my brother and I sat at a table inside a bar. The bar was bustling with activity. I took a sip of my drink.

"It's harder than you think, but nothing is impossible for my little brother. You're smart. I'm sure a woman will come along whose interested in that computer-like brain of yours."

"Seems like these days, women are more interested like guys with big muscles like you. How do you do it? I mean, I've tried weights. But I can't bulk up."

"Time and effort, Ben. And patience. You may be smart, but you're impatient when it comes to the subtle things in life. Everything comes to he who waits."

"Don't patronize me, Carl. I'm impressed you just quoted Albert Einstein, but I need more than just good grades to impress a gorgeous woman."

I took a sip of his drink, when I noticed her. She weaved through the crowd and approached our table. Then she sat down in the empty chair next to Carl.

"Hi boys. I'm Honey, care to get sticky with me? I don't mind a threesome."

I coughed when she said that and almost spit out my drink. Lucky I had my glass in front of my mouth. The inclination of sex with her was appealing, but a threesome with Carl? My own brother?

"I'm game," Carl said, leaving no time to think about the implications. Then he turned to me and smiled. "But no crossing swords."

I was about to say something, but Carl turned back to the woman and she looked at him intently, and looked him over. Carl began to flex his muscles, and she took considerable notice, leaving me isolated. Carl was a lot more muscular than I was; he was also a bit self-absorbed. And he did get a lot of women.

I took a sip of my drink and set my chin on my hand balanced on my elbow and listened as the pair strike up their own conversion.

"You surely do have a lot of muscle," the woman said. "You must get a lot of girls." She touched his right bicep as he flexed, and goggled at how hard it was. "I have a brother whose a body builder."

"I'm not a body builder, I just like taking care of myself."

"Yeah, and you gotta love that ego, too," I sarcastically said.

Carl looked over at me and curled a sneer. And I smirked. I loved to tease him about his short-coming. However, the same could be said about myself. While I was a math wiz, he got to have all the fun with women, as this women who was ignoring me could attest. I was a bit jealous.

Just for fun, I said, "So, how about that threesome?" But she ignored me. She was more interested in Carl. Carl struck up a conversion about cars and she said she loved cars.

"I have a Mustang, it's parked outside," Carl said.

And he prattled on about it. Meanwhile, the woman pursued her lips and moistened them with her tongue sexily, tilting her head slightly in a persuasively probably in an attempt to change the conversion to her. She turned me on. But it came to Carl, one he got to talking about cars, he could talk for hours.

I rolled my eyes, hoping something interesting would happen. A bar fight. Anything.

As Carl continued on, the woman frowned disappointed. Her advances ignored, I chuckled to myself. Her expression apparently seemed thoughtful. And she was probably thinking what I thought she was thinking, listening to Carl gab on about cars and ignore her. She probably thought he was gay. But it was only Carl's nature. She was an alluring and beautiful woman, but Carl was egocentric and liked to talk about himself and his own interests. This woman seemed uninterested in him now. At any rate, she was probably here to hustle a drink. I saw her with a couple of guys earlier when we first came in, laughing and talking. Now she was over here. I found her attractive, but I wasn't stupid.

That bit about the threesome was obviously a distraction to get our attention so she could move onto her real objective. It was a pretty good ploy. "I know you're here for another reason, but I'll play along," I said. "What would you like? You can ask for any drink you want."

That diverted her attention. She smiled at me. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said playfully. "But I'll have a Rum & Coke."

I bought her one, and then another, and another. . .

She drank down three drinks before I even got through my first. I was amazed, and she wasn't even drunk. She could really hold her liquor. Carl was equally shocked.

"Alcohol doesn't agree with me. I have a weak stomach for it."

"Then why are you here?" she asked me, now sipping a forth drink.

"To pick up women. You're an amazingly looking woman, but you're a little. . .old for me. No offense. I prefer younger women."

"And I prefer older men."

"But about that threesome anyway?"

She laughed, then she left the table.

She had gotten what she wanted.