I always dreamed of sitting on a hill,
Grass beneath me,
The sky above my head,
As the sun sets,
And the stars shine through,
I can't lie to myself anymore,
There will never be a world,
In which my dreams will truly become true,
That there will be always be grass under my feet,
That there will be stars in the night sky.
I stare into the sky now,
I hope in vain,
As the sky is blurred by my tears.
The tears rolled down my cheek,
And the horrifying thought comes back,
Of a gun in my hand,
And one bullet in the clip,
With my own name on it…
The dream now a nightmare,
And I shift my mind back to the sky,
And remind myself my self worth,
Reminding myself I have something to live for,
Something to die for.
I continue to suffer through the pain,
Brought by cuts and bruises,
Brought by trauma,
Brought by words,
Brought by the very emotions I can never truly control.
And the thought that bring my pain,
Runs through my mind,
As I stare into the sky,
And sometimes I cannot stop to believe its true,
In which this world, there is no one for me.
A world where no one understands my thoughts,
That no one can hear my cries for help,
That my plight for happiness is ignored,
Because the only thing that will bring a true smile to my face,
Is having that one person grab a hold of me,
Crying as well, and will never let go…