I sit on the wall here and watch as they come and go.
So important to themselves.
They think they come for her.
But they come to ease their conscience.
To apologise for all they have done to her.

First comes her mother,
twenty years older
looks like her sister.
She apologises for not being there, not listening.
She apologises for not being a good mother, not seeing.
She apologises for not fighting, not speaking.
She apologises for being well and healthy and alive, not dying.
And she goes home and she bakes
cake and bread.

Then comes her elder brother,
two years older
looks younger.
He apologises for not coming sooner, couldn't face it.
He apologises for not understanding, not persisting.
He apologises for not acting, not wanting to see.
He apologises for not coming in again, can't face it
And he goes home and he eats
cakes and bread.

Then comes her eldest sister,
one year younger
looks ten.
She apologises for moving away, having a life.
She apologises for not being there.
She apologises for not living to her standards, for not being perfect, being human.
She apologises for being unable to help, being helpless.
And she goes home and sees
cakes and bread

Her next sister,
four years younger
looks like her daughter.
She apologises for living on the other side of the world.
She apologises for being her own woman.
She apologises for never being able to tell her the truth, secrets had to be kept.
She apologises for not knowing something was wrong, not being told.
And she goes home, stops her mother baking even more
cakes and bread.

Her youngest sister,
five years younger
looks like her daughter.
She apologises for not saying enough prayers.
She apologises for being sent to a different school.
She apologises for being partly deaf.
She apologises for not being old enough to make a difference when it counted.
And she goes home and tidies away all the
cakes and bread.

Her next brother,
eight years younger
looks fifteen.
He apologises for being a rebel, when he was younger.
He apologises for being told off, by her.
He apologises for being scared of her, his whole life.
He apologises for having to go to work.
And he goes to work to earn his own family's
cakes and bread.

Her youngest brother,
ten years younger
looks like her son.
He apologises for being hit on the head.
He apologises for giving up music.
He apologises for being made redundant.
He apologises for not being born before she was ill.
And he goes home past the place he used to make
cakes and bread.

Her best friend
same age as her
looks ten years younger.
She apologises for being too scared to stop them.
She apologises for not having the courage to tell.
She apologises for not being able to prevent the illness.
She apologises for not being ill as well.
And she goes home and wishes she had
cakes and bread.

The boy-next-door,
same age as her
looks like her son.
He apologises that she thought he was evil
He apologises for presuming affection
He apologises for trying to kiss her hand
He apologises for his unrequited love
And he goes home and remembers days full of
cakes and bread.

Her teacher, a nun
thirty years older than her
looks like her sister.
She apologises for being Them.
She apologises for making her watch while her imperfect siblings were beaten.
She apologises for teaching her that love was a trick of the devil.
She apologises for turning her into what she is.
And she goes home and gives away all her
cakes and bread.

A nurse comes in,
forty years younger
looks like a great-grandchild.
She doesn't apologise for being late.
She doesn't apologise for allowing the oxygen to run low.
She doesn't apologise for ignoring the alarm.
She doesn't apologise for the fag in her other hand.
And she walks off without finishing, still eating.
cakes and bread.

I sit on the wall and watch.
I can hear the woman in the bed.
To everyone who comes she's said.
"It's not your fault, I'm sorry".
She apologises to her mother for ignoring her and not letting her in.
She apologises to her elder brother for always picking on him.
She apologises to her eldest sister for looking away while she was beat.
She apologises to her next sister for the secrets she couldn't keep.
She apologises to her youngest sister for making her feel inadequate.
She apologises to her brother for setting standards noone could've met.
She apologises to her younger brother for being lost before he was there.
She apologises to her best friend for not speaking when They were unfair.
She apologises to the boy-next-door for being harsh and cold
She apologises to her teacher for accepting all she was told.
She apologises to ther nurse for not already being dead.
And she apologises to her family, she won't have more
cakes and bread.

I sit on the wall and watch them all

I apologise for eavesdropping on what they said
I apologise for letting you know all you just read
I apologise that nothing's changed
I apologise that other families go through the same
I apologise that there is no happy ending for them
I apologise that her death for her was the best thing then.
I apologise that only I heard the words that were in her head
I apologise that at the funeral they served
cakes and bread.

I apologise that more funerals will serve
cakes and bread.