I'm writing this to you because, well, i don't think dad would understand. He'll hate me for a while, because he thinks parents should go before their children, but that doesn't always have to be true.
You may hate me as well, and that's OK because you thought I told you everything. I didn't. If I had, I wouldn't be writing this, it wouldn't have got so bad. You thought I had a lot of friends, that I was always out partying – you never questioned it, and at the time i was glad for that.
I'd sometimes go around Alicia's house – you always liked her. She'll look after you mum, I know she will. I think maybe she'll hate me too, because we always said we'd stick it out together. Well, I can't. Not anymore. School is hell, it always has been. For both of us.
But Alicia blended into the background; she was part of the wall. They ignored her. They didn't ignore me.
You remember, summer before last when I broke my arm on Alicia's trampoline, when her parents were away?
That never happened.
They broke my arm mum; they pushed me down the stairs near the beach. Alicia wasn't even there, it was just me. She knew about it but she also knew not to say anything because I didn't want you to know.
I thought I knew better.
Maybe, if I had told you, I could have moved schools, but I couldn't leave Alicia alone, not then.
I just....I can't take it anymore mum. I really can't. I haven't slept in three weeks because i hate waking up and knowing the next thing i do is go to school.
Why do you think I took so many days off school? Until the school noticed and 'had a word' with you, resulting in you driving me to school every day.
That made things so much worse, because they used to catch me before the first bell went; they thought you came to protect me.
So, when they got me on the way home, they made it worse.
You may think I'm taking a cowards way out, but i have given this a lot of thought. What I am about to do is so scary, so terrifying that I don't think a coward could do it.
I love you mum, so much. Tell dad I love him to, and Alicia.
I'll look over the three of you, especially Alicia, because I don't think suicides do go to hell, God would not be so cruel as to give me hell in the afterlife as well as this one.
I just can't take it anymore.
I love you mum.
Always your Angel.
Miranda Tracy Richards, found at her home after taking an overdose of sleeping pills on the 16th March, died yesterday whilst in a coma.
She was two months away from her 18th birthday, and would have left St Matthews School this July.
Thoughts are with her friends and family.