The Dentistry Coup
Dentists want to take over the world. Don't be fooled by those cute dentists who spout mind-washing phrases such as 'good teeth; good life', 'if your teeth are perfect and white all your wishes will come true' and other bull. Behind their white coats and masks lie malicious, sadistic beings wielding weapons of mass torture and pain.
Dissatisfied with their thousand dollar salaries, they infest their 'patients' braces with nanobytes and are able to control anyone who has a set, or ever had one, through mouth pain, bad teeth and (*gasp* oh no!) plaque!
Their propaganda is everywhere and supported by major oral brands such as Listerine, DentalCare and Colgate. Pretty soon every child will have had braces to 'Improve those teeth', 'Straighten that jaw' and have their very own set of 'Blindingly white shiners'.
We must not let those dastardly dentists win! Revolutionists Unite! Close your mind, and your mouth, to their evil plans. Forsake dental health and do not let your brainwashed parents sway you to their side, as I was (by their cookies ^.^).
And remember, 'Floss, floss, floss'. Dun, de, dun, dun Daaaaa!