From the bottom of this bottle,
Staring up into all the things that I missed
I wonder to myself
'How the hell did it come to this?'
Of all the downfalls, mistakes, dilemmas I planned..
I can tell you whole heartedly,
You've caught me off guard.
You've fucking obliterated my guard,
Ruined any defenses I had left,
Took me to places I'd never even dare dream of
And then left me there
To find my way back here,
To an infinitely worse reality.
Each tiem I poison myself a bit more,
I feel the tiniest bit of victory against you;
Begin to rationalize your reactions,
Try to pre-conceive these aborted confessions
Try to care
That you care.
Caring is overrated
Only as a bridge to self-preservation,
A bridge that I burned for you
A long time ago;
Holding onto something stolen,
And so far above me it's almost comic.
Looking at those eyes,
I almost understand guilt
I almost saw happiness,
I saw something perfect
And then it blinked away.
So now I'm laying here
At the bottom of everything
Trying to blink myself away
Just for you.