From the bottom of this bottle,

Staring up into all the things that I missed

I wonder to myself

'How the hell did it come to this?'

Of all the downfalls, mistakes, dilemmas I planned..

I can tell you whole heartedly,

You've caught me off guard.


You've fucking obliterated my guard,

Ruined any defenses I had left,

Took me to places I'd never even dare dream of

And then left me there


To find my way back here,

To an infinitely worse reality.

Each tiem I poison myself a bit more,

I feel the tiniest bit of victory against you;

Begin to rationalize your reactions,

Try to pre-conceive these aborted confessions

Try to care

That you care.


Caring is overrated

And understood

Only as a bridge to self-preservation,

A bridge that I burned for you

A long time ago;

Holding onto something stolen,


And so far above me it's almost comic.

Looking at those eyes,

I almost understand guilt

I almost saw happiness,

I saw something perfect

And then it blinked away.

So now I'm laying here

At the bottom of everything

Trying to blink myself away

Just for you.