Promises

I wasted another night,

Another chapter in a diary that should be burnt.

I've given up on running away,

Because you've got your hands so fucking deep

I'm amazed that you're not drowning yet.

I always sit there,

And wonder

If you can feel me staring at you like a lunatic.

I'm afraid of when you'll wake up,

Of all that concern in those fucking eyes

So clueless,

So convinced,

So fucking cold.

I'm afraid of the day when you'll ask me

So much in words like "Why?" and "How could you?"

Because as much as I hate you,

Believe me,

I'll not be the one to hold that mirror up to you.

Not just yet, at least.

How dare you be so fucking perfect;

It's not my fault that you're everything,

Everyone..

Could ever possibly imagine.

While waiting for the other shoe to drop,

I found myself under a lead weight;

Something hideous

Trapped between two beautiful people

In a life that should still be worth living.

But I'm starting to really see now,

That it's really only you

And you're really only worth dying for.

If you'd just give me the chance,

I promise,

I'd prove it.