A/N- I have no fucking Idea.


Dear Mr. Grapefruit.

Chapter One


I never understood my attraction to Lyle. Lyle. How do I describe Lyle? …This is impossible. Why don't we just start from day one, shall we?

The Day One

"And so I sniffed it."

I did a double take. "That is disgusting," I hissed. How can somebody be that unsanitary? What could she possibly have been thinking?

"And so what did you conclude after smelling the decaying rabbit?" I asked, slightly disturbed by Jamie's odd attraction to disintegrating woodland creatures. She paused, 'hmphed' and put a bony finger to her lips.

"That they always go faster during the rainy days." She replies happily, a twinkle in her bulgy eyes.

Freak. Freeeeak. This girl was seriously messed up. But she was also my friend.

"C'mon, we got to get to class." I urge her on gently, making sure to cover my hand with the edge of my hoody before touching her. No telling how many Germs are crawling all over her, plotting to take over the world. Monster Zombie Viruses pervading the air and killing off humanity…wasting away…the planet…dead.

"Yo, Germophobe, I can walk myself thank you very much." She speeds the walking pace whilst flipping her long black pony tails over her shoulder.

"Oh." I simply say and blush slightly at the remark. Excuse me for not wanting little germs gnawing my flesh off like a fucking glutton to a birthday cake.

She rounds the corner, my best Asian friend is out of site now, but I can't fucking move. Fuck, I can barley breathe.

That's when I see him. Him. The most fucking perfect hair. It's all wavy and brown – velvet and so shiny…so shiny and so fucking silky. I'm frozen. And I'm loving and hating it because this feeling is so new. New and scary, but good. So good. I can't even describe it. Mind blowing.

He's down at his locker, moving books, legs are as skinny as fucking rods. Drainpipe trousers and a white shirt. And fucking skinny. The anorexic sticks must be jeaaaaloouussss.

He starts walking down the hall, hair obscuring the chiseled face, arms loose and lanky. Taller than me. A good fucking 5 inches.

I never felt so tiny. God, I am so fugly. FUGGGLLY. Fugly little fuck.

And then he's in front of me. This huge ass smirk on his face. Like he fucking knows what I'm thinking. Fuck that. Fuck him. Fucking prick.

He bends down, and I can't fucking believe it. Why is an angel in front of me? I'm shaking. Butterflies are racing and pissing themselves in my stomach. A heat spreads across my face and behind my ears.

His head is right next to my ear, smirking, hair brushing my face.

One word, lips moving, face burning "Get the fuck out of my way."

I stop breathing. Motherfucker.

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After gaining enough courage to stutter a semi-confident "fuck you," I walk away and slide into my seat next to Jamie. I feel like I walked off of cloud nine. Like I was in some dream.

"Hey."

"HEY!"

"HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY MY SNUGGLYWUFFLYLITTLEBUNNYKINPIEPUFFFf---"

"What?!" I snap. Hands gripping the top of the desk.

"Did you see the new girl?" Jamie asked.

"Whu—" I cough, pound my chest, "What?!!"

It was a girl.

Oh fuckity fuck.