Odivia

It has never been easy, nothing in life has ever been easy. So why did I think that having no troubles with people would be easy? Sure I knew that moving out of state to live with my boyfriend and start over wasn't going to be easy. I knew that finding a job in a falling Economy during the summer wasn't going to be easy. But one thing that would be easy would be making friends. And it was.

But I never anticipated falling in love with one of my friends. Yes, I had fallen in love with one of my friends. We'd gotten close to each other during my year in this little town in California.

Though there's a problem with loving someone other than who I'm with. We're both betrothed.

It's hard to completely ignore these feeling that I have for him, for my friend. Especially when I'm only supposed to love the man that I'm going to marry in a year. Though they always arise when he is near, when the man that I truly love is near.

So how am I supposed to live a lie with my betrothed when I truly love another that is also betrothed?

"Odivia?" I heard someone call questioningly.

I turned to look over my shoulder to see my betrothed. "Yes?"

"Are you alright? You seem out of it tonight," he told me with worry etched in his beautiful face. He walked over to me and wrapped his strong arms around my small frame.

I instantly sank into him, wishing that the longing in my body for these arms to be another's would just go away.

"I've just had a long day at work," I told him. It wasn't a lie, I really had a long day at work. I had done work for two departments today and it wasn't an easy job.

"Well go take a bath, I'll take care of dinner. And then I'll give you a massage," he told me with as he planted a kiss upon my neck.

I let out a sigh and nodded. I didn't want to be alone anymore today, not if it let my mind wander to him. "But wouldn't you like to come join me?" I asked him as I turned in his arms to look up at him.

James' honey brown eyes glittered with interest. "What about dinner?" he asked, his voice curious.

I buried my face into his chest, breathing in his masculine woodsy scent. It was something that I longed for when he was not near. Now I longed for the smell of fire that came from the man that I had fallen in love with. "You can make dinner afterwards, that way I can help you," I explained.

I knew he would say yes. He hardly ever said no to me, always tried to please me in every way he could. I suspected he felt that my love for him was either leaving or succumbing to something greater. And it was, but I didn't want him to know, I didn't want things to change with us.

"Okay, let's go then," he said softly. I could hear to smile in his voice. I looked up to see the smile that I was hoping for. There was a small flutter in my heart. That flutter had once been much bigger.

I really enjoyed the bath with James. It did help me to relax. And I also remembered why I had fallen in love with this man to begin with, why I wanted to marry him.

James was a sweet and caring man that had always taken care of me. And he took my celibacy seriously. Even though we were always naked with each other, we never did anything. He was always so sweet and considerate to me, it had always been something that sent my heart soaring and leaving my mind fuzzy. But now, now I just wished it had never went away because now I longed for another.

James and I stood in our small kitchen, working together to prepare our spaghetti dinner. As he finished putting the noodles in the boiling water he turned and started helping me with the sauce and meat as I worked on the bread.

This had never changed between us, and if I had any say in it, it would never change.

"Via, would you like me to go set the table?" he asked me as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and rested his chin on my right shoulder.

I leaned back into him and closed my eyes. "That would be nice. The food's almost done," I whispered to him.

I felt James nod and pull away from me. He didn't seem right. Something wasn't right. I turned quickly, my searching hand catching his wrist.

James turned to look at me, surprise and sadness clouding his eyes.

Sadness filled me and nearly brought tears to my eyes. I forced them down as I stepped closer to my lover. "I love you," I whispered as I reached up and kissed his lips.

James wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him, our kiss deepening as we stood their in each other's arms.

No matter how much I loved someone else, James' kiss always drove crazy.

James pulled his lips from mine and held me close, his head now next to mine. "I love you as well, I always will Odivia," he whispered to me.

As James walked into the other room and out of site the tears that I had been holding back fell down my rosy porcelain cheeks. I turned quickly and continued to finish dinner as James walked into the kitchen only a few times to get the dishes.

The first time he walked back in I heard his sharp intake of breath as he saw the tears falling from my eyes. I felt him start to approach me but stopped. I then heard him hesitantly get the things that he needed and walk out once more.

I worked on the food without it even fully being comprehended. I could get over the pain of loving another man when I had the perfect one right here in the apartment we shared.

As dinner finally finished cooking I began to start calming myself down. By the time I had two plates full of my homemade spaghetti and meatball sauce with a few pieces of garlic bread each, my face was no longer red from crying.

I took the plates into the dining and frowned when I didn't see the table set.

"In here, love," I heard James from the living room. I looked towards it and saw that it was dimly lit by a few candles.

The couch was blocking my view of the coffee table so I stepped forward. As soon as I saw James a gasp sounded from my vocals and I clutched to the plates in my hand.

Two candle sticks were placed upon the wood coffee table, two mats next to each other with silverware placed in their correct places. Two glasses of wine were placed above the mats, the wine bottle to James' left.

"Oh James, you didn't have to…" I trailed off as my eyes stung and the room became blurry.

James was on his feet in an instant and by my side in a few big strides. "I didn't have to, but I wanted to. You've been going through a lot and I wanted to help you relax," he told me as he took a plate from my hands and lead me to the coffee table with the free hand on the small of my back.

It took all that I had not to start crying again. I knew he knew that something was not right, that my feelings for him were starting to dwindle.

"I want us to get married sooner," James said after we'd been eating for a good ten minutes.

I felt myself gasp again and look to him, my eyes wide. "Sooner? How much sooner?" I asked quietly.

"Five months?"

I felt my heart stop as I looked to my half finished plate of food. Five months? It seemed all too final now.

"What about money? What I have gotten done is too much for what I have saved up," I told him quietly, too scared to speak much louder than a whisper.

"I've been saving for this for years, Via. I have more than enough to cover everything, you just worry about your dress," he told me. I felt him adjust his position before I felt his arms wrap around me.

Out of habit I sank into his warmth, once again longing the warmth of another that I would never have.

"Five months," I whispered as I gripped his arm, holding onto him tightly.

I loved James completely, but it wasn't enough. But it was all that we needed. I couldn't go to him, never could I go to him. And this thought darkened my mind completely.

"I love you Odivia," I heard him whisper into my hair.

It took me five long seconds to respond. "I love you too, James," I whispered, having forced the words to sound slightly normal passed the lump in my throat.

Kearnin

Things had been different ever since Odivia and I had become friends. It's been three years, three long years since we'd started talking. I have come to wonder if things would be better if I had never given her the time of day back then. But the more I think about it, the more I want to kick myself for even considering life would be better without her.

Odivia was a part of me now, a part of who I was. Even if it wasn't a good thing. Not when I was supposed to get married in a couple of years.

I looked down at the engagement ring upon my sleeping fiancées finger.

At one point joy and pride would fill me upon seeing that ring there. Now only sadness filled me. I wanted to be with someone else, but I had promised my life to this woman in my arms, not to the woman miles away that I wished was in my arms.

I turned my gaze from the ring to the clock beside the bed. It was almost time to get ready for the day.

I was opening today, opening with Odivia.

I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift, finding that I could only think of the cyan eyed brunette that I longed for.

It felt like only moments later that the alarm from my clock was buzzing loudly. I shut it off quickly, not wanting to wake Krystina.

I looked to the red headed woman half lying on top of me. She was still sound asleep. I slowly pulled myself from her, watching as she stirred only slightly and readjusted to the loss of my warmth. It was then that I moved about the still dark room to get ready for work.

I could not stop thinking about Odivia. It was wrong of me, I know. But how could I not think about the woman that I truly love? How could I not be with her?

Because the two woman that I love are best friends. I wouldn't want to ruin their friendship.

I was in the kitchen grabbing a thing of pop tarts when my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I felt my heart tighten in anticipation as I hoped it would be Odivia who would be trying to contact me. I pulled my phone out from my pocket and felt a grin spread onto my lips as I saw that it was indeed Odivia.

"Hey," I answered quietly.

"Good morning, Kearnin," I heard her whisper. Something didn't seem right, her tone was slightly saddened.

"Everything alright?" I asked as I walked out the door.

"Yeah, everything's perfect. I was just calling to let you know that I can't come in today. Will you be alright with the shipment? I can come in if you really need me," she said. I could hear the hesitancy and hopefulness in her voice.

I did need her. I would always need her. But I couldn't tell her that. It wasn't the way she meant.

"No, I'll have it under control. You need a day off," I told her reluctantly. Though she wouldn't hear it, I made sure that no one knew how I felt about her, not even her.

"Oh, well, okay. Good luck then, if you need any help just…"

"I won't. You just have a good day off with James. Good bye, Via," I told her as I got into my car.

"Bye," I heard her whisper.

The rest of the day was a blur. It was the same as every other day that Odivia didn't work. It was all the same to me. But I knew that things were different. It just never seemed that way when she wasn't here.

I hadn't heard a single thing from her since this morning and it was already close to five p.m. I looked at my phone and let out a sigh as I sat down at a table in the restaurant of Target.

"You okay there, Kay?" I heard someone ask.

I looked over to see Jonathan looking at me curiously. "Yeah, just a long day," I told him.

"Why didn't you just call Odivia in? She said she'd be willing to come in if you needed the help," he said.

I looked to him in shock, "How did you know?"

Jonathan laughed loudly, "She had to call someone else to tell that she wasn't going to be in. Besides, we all know that you wouldn't call her even if you did need the help."

Fear filled me as he said those words. Did he know? Had I not been hiding it well enough? Would he say anything to Krystina? James? Odivia?

"I mean you're just like her when it comes to not admitting when you need help," Jonathan continued.

Relief washed over me and I relaxed into the seat.

"So what are you still doing here? Don't you have to go see Krystina?"

I nodded and gathered my stuff. "Yeah, I'll see you around."

"See you," he said as I walked away.

I really was in deep. Even more so because Odivia didn't feel the same way about me as I did about her. And even if we did, would we leave our current lovers to be with each other? I didn't want to think about that. I'd known Krystina for a much longer time and have been with her for more than half the time knowing her.

I knew that even if Odivia and I loved each other to know end, I could never leave Krystina.

Could I?

My phone buzzed in my pocket as I got into my car. I frowned slightly as I took it out. I couldn't be. Could it?

Odivia.

It was.

I opened the text and read the words that she sent me.

Do you think you could ever leave Krystina for another?

Everything stopped. Wasn't I just thinking those same thoughts? And why would she be asking me this?

I began to reply, though not too sure on how.

I'm not too sure. There's a possibility that I could if I felt something stronger for another than I do for Krystina. Why do you ask?

I waited for her reply, not bothering to start my car just yet.

It was strange to have her ask me that, especially after I had just been thinking that exact thing. But I couldn't lie to Odivia or to myself. I would leave Krystina only if Odivia wanted me to, only if she wanted to be with me.

My phone buzzed again, signaling me that Odivia had replied.

I was just wondering. So I thought you should be the first to know. James and I have moved the wedding date up to December 15. Sending invitations out next week.

Five months? They moved it up to that soon?

I felt my heart drop into my stomach. She would be forever lost to me.

That's great! Can't wait to get an invite!

I was surprised at myself. I was acting so normal. But I had to. She was my best friend and I couldn't dampen her spirits by letting her know that I didn't want her to get married to James. It would be wrong.

I started the car and began my return to the apartment. It wasn't really my home, not when Odivia wasn't there.

I shook all of these negative thoughts from my mind. I didn't want Krystina to see me this was if she was there. I didn't need her finding out.

Odivia

I smiled brightly as I twirled in the dress. I turned to Krystina with the same bright smile. "What do you think?"

"One of your greatest designs," she said with an envious tone.

I could see that she was slightly jealous of me at the moment. I had designed my dress myself but had to get someone to actually make it. It took up most of the month trying to find the right person and then half a month to have it made. I wouldn't be surprised if I got a call from someone to work for them.

I turned to the mirror once more and looked at my light sky blue dress. It was similar to a halter top but covered the top of my chest and wrapped around my neck like a chocker, tying in the back with long ribbons. The bodice was tight and formed to me well, my back exposed just to the small of my back where the dress started again. The dress only went to mid thigh but I had an add on that only covered the back of my dress and went to the floor, the front still showing that the real dress only went to mid thigh.

Upon my waist was a beautiful embroidered design of silver vines wrapping around. Along the bottom hem of the dress and along the edges of the add on was the same embroidered design.

It really was a beautiful dress.

And was the first of many of my designs to be made.

"James will love it," I heard Krystina whisper.

Sadness filled me but I made sure not to let it show. That never ceased to make me sad. And throughout the month Kearnin's reaction to the sooner date just added on to the pain. I had hoped that he had felt even a fraction of the same way to me as I did to him. But it seemed that he didn't.

I forced that thought away, put up a wall to those feelings.

I turned to Krystina once more.

"Do you still want me to design your wedding dress?" I asked with a smile.

Krystina's eyes lit up at my question. "Yes, I still want you to design my wedding dress! It wouldn't be any trouble would it?"

I shook my head with the same bright smile, "Absolutely not."

The rest of the day went on the same way. Krystina and I continued to go about town and other places to continue with the wedding planning.

By the time we had gotten back to my apartment it was already seven at night. We walked in and found James and Kearnin talking in the living room, the television on and turned to the news.

"Hey, how'd everything go?" James asked as he got up.

I smiled, "It went well. And I expect you not to peek at my dress!" I laughed softly as I dodged James' searching hands as he tried to grab for me and my dress. I maneuvered myself away from him and towards our room, stealing a glance at Kearnin to see him watching me. My heart stopped as I saw the envious longing look in his eyes.

I hurried into the room, closing the door behind me as I tried to catch my breath, having felt as if it all left me.

Why did he have that look in his eyes? Why was he looking at me that way?

It only made hope wash through me. A hope that would be crushed and I knew it. I pushed those feelings away for the moment and went to put the dress in the back of the closet.

I made my way back into the living room to see that James and Krystina were talking.

"You better not be telling him anything about the dress, Tina," I joked with fake malice in my voice.

She laughed and continued to talk with him about something or another.

I could feel James' eyes on me as I walked into the kitchen. I smiled to Kearnin who was currently cooking a meal for the four of us.

"Need any help?" I asked him kindly as I forced away the urge to hold him and never let him go.

Kearnin smiled back as he pushed around the stir fry. "Watch the rice for me?" he asked.

I nodded and went to sit on the counter next to the rice cooker. I would occasionally steal glances at Kearnin only to see his eyes move back down to the stir fry.

I opened the rice cooker at these moments to move the rice so that it didn't get stuck to the bottom and burn. I was trying to figure out what Kearnin was looking at when ever I wasn't looking at him.

I wanted so badly for him to be looking at me. I wanted to know if he saw me as more than just a friend or not. I wanted to know if he would leave Krystina for me.

I flinched at this thought and forced it away, forced it into the darkest corner of my mind. I loved Krystina as if she were my own sister. I shouldn't have such thoughts when she loved this man so much.

"You okay?" I heard Kearnin ask in concern.

I looked up to see him watching me, the concern deep in his dark chocolate brown eyes. I nodded with a smile, taken aback by the strength of his concern. "I'm fine, just thinking," I told him.

He nodded and turned his eyes back to his work. But I couldn't stop staring at him. He was too beautiful to look away from.

It was only when he glanced at me did I look away. He had probably felt me watching him.

We continued to work in silence and I found my mind wrapping around thoughts of Kearnin. It wasn't unusual for this to happen, but I tried to avoid it happening when he was close by, when anyone was near actually.

I knew I should feel horrible since my fiancé was in the other room. But I couldn't bring myself to feel those negative feelings towards myself.

"Odivia?"

I looked up to see Kearnin looking at me with worried eyes. "Yes?"

"You haven't answered me. Are you sure you're okay?"

I felt myself blush as I looked down. "Oh yes, I'm perfectly alright. Still just thinking," I told him softly.

"What are you thinking about so intently that you couldn't hear me?" he asked curiously.

I glanced up to see that his stir fry was finished and the stove off. He was now facing me, a look of pure curiosity filling his features.

"Oh, uh, it's nothing really. Nothing at all," I told him hurriedly as I checked the rice one final time. I turned the heat down to just keep the rice worm and hopped off of the counter.

Kearnin moved to get in my way each time I tried to move past him.

By the fifth try I simply looked up at him, trying my hardest to keep my emotions away from my face. Kearnin's dark brown orbs stared into my hazel optics. We stood that was with barely a few inches between us for what felt like years.

I saw Kearnin's arm move and felt his fingertips move across my cheek with a whisper of a touch. I couldn't help but close my eyes. It was so hard to keep all of my emotion hidden from him at that moment. Closing my eyes was all I could do to keep him from seeing the extent of these forbidden feelings.

"The food ready yet, you two?" I heard James call, his voice moving closer with each word.

Fear gripped my heart and I jumped away, going to the fridge. "I think so. I'm just going to grab myself the tea, anyone else want any?" I called out, hoping that my voice didn't sound scared and betray me.

I glanced over to Kearnin to see that he was watching me with shocked wide eyes. I looked away again and continued to get the dishes and my tea. I poured myself a glass just as I felt James' arms wrap around me. I smiled and leaned my head over against his as he rested his head on my shoulder. "Would you like some tea, love?" I asked him, still feeling Kearnin's gaze on me.

"Yes, that would be great. Would you like me to set the table?" he asked me as he turned his head and straightened up slightly to plant a kiss on my temple.

"If you would that would be wonderful," I told him as I poured us some tea. "And see if Krystina would like some tea," I requested.

"Will do," he told me before grabbing dishes and going to go set them on the table.

I could hear him say something to Krystina, hear her answer and then a simple word from James, but I couldn't make the words out. My ears were filled with the sound of my beating heart. I tried my hardest to keep my breathing labored, I didn't want to start hyperventilating right in the middle of my kitchen in front of Kearnin.

"Odivia," Kearnin started.

I turned to him with a smile. "Would you like some tea as well, Kearnin?" I asked, hoping he would understand that I just wished nothing had just happened.

He just continued to stare. But it seemed he did understand. He nodded with a smile and grabbed some silverware to go and help James set the table.

I turned back to the glasses and filled the last remaining two.

It was then that Krystina walked in. She smiled brightly to me and I returned the gesture. "Want any help?" she asked.

"We need the rice and stir fry in containers. You know where they are right?"

Krystina nodded and grabbed two big bowls from the cupboard next to the oven under the counter.

I took the glasses of tea out to the dining room to put them in their places. It was hard to see both James and Kearnin in the same room, chatting to themselves in a friendly manner. I smiled at both of them, pretending nothing was wrong and put the glasses on the table. I went back into the kitchen with Krystina to help her with the food.

"Everything alright, Odivia?" she asked as we put the food into their bowls and I grabbed the utensils.

No. Nothing's alright. I want your fiancé all to myself.

I looked to her with a smile. "Yeah, everything's fine. Why wouldn't it be?" I asked her curiously.

She frowned slightly and continued to stare at me. "It's just something seems wrong. You and Kearnin aren't hiding anything are you?"

I froze, my blood running cold.

Kearnin

I could hear Krystina ask Odivia a question.

Nothing could be alright. She'd reacted to my touch, as light as it had been she had reacted to it. Just the way I wanted her to.

But that would mean… No! I couldn't let that get to me!

I continued to listen as I set up the last of the silverware.

"It's just something seems wrong. You and Kearnin aren't hiding anything are you?" Krystina asked her.

I froze, my hand hovering over the napkin with the fork in hand.

Why would she say my name? Does she know that I have feelings for Odivia? Does she suspect Odivia might have feelings for me?

"No, what would we have to hide?" Odivia asked curiously.

She was playing this off really well. She was a born actress.

There was some whispers and soon the two woman came out.

Odivia was pale and staring at the ground.

"Odivia what's wrong?" James asked rushing over to her.

Odivia smiled up at him. "Nothing. I just feel a little tired is all. I'll be fine," she told him softly.

She wasn't looking at me.

Something was said, I know it.

I looked to Krystina to see that she was frowning ever so slightly at me. She does know.

I felt my heart sink into my stomach as I sat down.

The others soon followed.

Everything was quiet for almost ten minutes.

"Tell me, Odivia, who are you having an affair with?" Krystina asked coldly.

The three of us stared at her in shock.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not having an affair with anyone," Odivia said weakly.

Krystina glared coldly at her. "I think I have reasons to believe otherwise. You're not the same. Haven't been for some time now. I'll give you credit, you're a great actress. But there's no way you would have been able to keep it a secret for long," she said coldly.

I could only stare at her in shock. What was she doing? The two of them were like sisters!

"Tina I," Odivia started.

"Don't you dare call me that!" she hissed.

Odivia flinched and looked down at her plate.

James stood up with a glare towards Krystina. "That is enough, Krystina. You know as well as the rest of us that Via wouldn't cheat on me let alone anyone else," he told her angrily.

But I could see the doubt in his eyes.

I looked to Odivia to see the tears welling up in her eyes. My heart ached. I wanted so much to comfort her, let her know that everything would be alright.

"Bull shit," Krystina hissed. "She's a whore."

Anger flared through me at this. I stood up quickly and glared to my fiancee. "Krystina that is enough!" I told her angrily.

I could feel Odivia's eyes on me. I could see James' shocked gaze on me. Krystina's eyes were wide and full of shock.

Maybe she didn't know that I was in love with Odivia after all. But there was no mistaking that she knew now as her eyes narrowed.

"Fine," she spat. She took of the engagement ring off and dropped it onto the table. "We're through," she said before storming out.

Right after the door slammed shut Odivia burst into tears.

I looked to her, pain filling me as James went to comfort her, hold her in his arms. She just sat there and cried even harder.

The look on his face crushed me completely. I was ruining their life.

I turned away from them and went to the door. I glanced back to see Odivia watching me. I looked away quickly.

As I left I could hear her crying escalade.

I couldn't do this.

I leaned against the door with tears stinging my eyes. I couldn't leave her, I just couldn't. This was proof enough that she wanted me.

But I couldn't take her away from James.

I turned and ran down the hall to the stairs.

Odivia

How could everything be fine one minute and be ruined the next?

I thought everything had been fine, Krystina hadn't said anything before. So why now? Why when we were eating and almost fine?

And why did Kearnin do that? Why?

Everything is ruined.

I began to cry softly again as I stood in the shower, the warm water flowing over my skin.

James hadn't said a word since I stopped crying. He just cleaned up the table and said I should go take a shower.

Nothing else.

I covered my face with my hands and wept softly. How could I have been so stupid? Of course someone was going to notice, I'm not a good actress. I never should have pretended. I should have just told James.

I began to shiver as I realized the water was cold. I couldn't go on like this.

I stepped out of the shower, turning the water off and wrapping my terry cloth white robe around my cold and wet form.

I went into the bedroom to see James sitting on the side of the bed with his hands clasped in between his legs. He was looking at the floor with a solemn expression.

I stood there in silence, pain filling my every fiber.

"It's Kearnin isn't it?" he asked softly.

I felt my bottom lip start to quiver. "It's not anyone," she whispered.

"But you like… He's the one you love now, isn't it? He's the one you're always thinking about."

The tears escaped my eyes and I fell to my knees. "I'm so sorry! I had hoped that we'd just get married and I'd forget it all!" I told him as I covered my face with my hands and wept.

James was holding me in an instant. "Odivia, I don't want you to force yourself into something you don't want."

"But I do want to marry you!" I told him.

"But you wouldn't be happy. I want you to be happy," he said softly.

I looked up at him with blurry eyes. "I will be happy with you," I told him weakly, my voice cracking.

I wrapped my arms around him, wishing that I could forget about Kearnin, forget about my feelings for him and just live happily with James.

We were quiet for a long time and eventually my sobs quieted. I eventually fell asleep in his strong arms, gripping onto his shirt with everything that I had.

I woke in the morning to the smell of coffee. My eyes were aching and dry. I sat up and rubbed them.

Everything from the night before came back to me and I slumped, staring at my hands resting on my lap as tears once again filled my eyes.

I eventually got out of bed, refastening the robe around me and shuffled out of the room to the kitchen.

"James, I…" I stopped upon seeing Kearnin leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He looked over to me with a sad look.

"Good morning, Odivia," he said softly.

I felt my heart tighten at his voice. I took a step back, tears filling my eyes.

James walked into view and came to me. "Odivia, I don't want you to force yourself to be with me. I'm… leaving. I'm going back home to Illinois. And I want you to stay here," he told me.

I felt my knees give out beneath me. James helped me over to the dining room table and set me down into a seat.

"James, why? I told you I wanted to marry you, that I would be happy with you!" I cried.

James shook his head, sadness overcoming his face and voice. "No, you wouldn't. You and I both know that. I'm sorry. I'll always love you," he said with a final kiss upon my lips.

I burst into tears as I listened to him gather his bags which I hadn't noticed and left our apartment, my apartment.

After he was long gone I felt strong arms wrap around me.

"I'm sorry Odivia. This is all my fault," Kearnin whispered to me.

I shook my head as I continued to cry. "No. I was the one who's to blame. I fell in love with you when I shouldn't have," I said.

"I fell in love with you too," he whispered.

I pulled away and looked at him. "No," I said, shaking my head. "No, you can't love me. I'm not supposed to be happy. Not right after my fiance broke off the engagement."

"Neither am I. But we can be with each other. We can get through this," he said.

I looked down, the tears continuing to fall. "I don't think I can. I've been with James for three years. I've loved him for so long," I whispered.

Kearnin was silent for a few moments. "Odivia, I love you," he said before pressing his lips against mine.

I felt my body burst in flame, my tears drying up quickly and my heart beating wildly.

How could I be kissing another man and enjoying it not even an hour after my fiance left me?

I felt myself melting into Kearnin, wrapping my arms around him as we continued to kiss.

This felt so right, so perfect.

This is what I wanted. This is what I have always waited for.

This was my home.