Life is a confusing thing, you know. One minute it seems great, close to perfect. Then in another minute it's turned upside down, into something crazy chaotic and definitely not close to perfect. But all in all life is a truly amazing wonderful thing that we all go through.
Especially as a teenager life seems confusing, horrible, and crazy wonderful all at the same time.
And when it comes to first love life takes on a rollercoaster like experience, I've been told.
Personally I've never been in love, so I can't really tell you anything about it or my experience.
But I've read wonderful stories and have seen love blossom right in front of my eyes. So seeing and reading about love makes me yearn and wish for it. It seems as if everyone has fallen in love, is in love, or is falling in love right this minute. It makes me feel, as a late bloomer, that I'm behind in the love department.
Before I have just told myself if I wait love will come to me. But now I don't want to wait! I want to run into the face of love and bring it to me, to myself. But I'm scared…No one out there would want me. Who would want a not so skinny, not so fat, loud mouth, insecure, anger ridden, and mood swing burdened, sophomore in high school? ...Who knows?
Maybe I should wait. Or maybe I should go out on a limb and take a chance and thrust myself into love.
But I'm too fickle, and I'm too scared of hurting someone, more than getting hurt myself. So I am just going to wait and see what happens. Wait and see if that certain someone makes the move first, or if I have to do it.