Sermon 008

How to Be a Soldier

Part Three :: Soldier

Part Eight




Today, we'll be talking about fun!

Nothing is more fun than limericks!


Some Christians think fun is a sin.

They condemn everything interesting.

They say Jesus died,

So we must always cry,

Instead of smiling and enjoying living.


But Jesus himself wore a smile

(For all you Christians who are in denial).

His first miracle by far

Was with six wedding jars,

In Cana, turning water to wine.*


Drinking signifies godly fun.

It was part of Jewish celebration!

He hung with the drinkers,

sinners and real stinkers.

People called Him drunkard and glutton*


Jesus hung out with the party beasts,

Never sinned but knew how to feast.

If he wasn't with sinners,

He was having dinner,

Playing mind games with the Pharisees.*


Jesus gives us life to the full*

So we can be fun, easy-going people.

Approach life with a smile

And after a while,

Nonbelievers will follow His example.


Some say, "No fun if you're a believer."

(They're too strict or never read the Scriptures).

So, try to share Christ

By having His fun in your life!

Learn the real face and the laugh of the Savior!


For so long, I thought religion was all about kneeling and standing during church, going to Confession, and obsessing over sin.

It wasn't fun.

Then I learned: God isn't about religion! Religion is a "ritual observance of faith" (Random House Dictionary). Church is good, but you can't learn true faith from ritual! You learn faith from being with God, sticking with Him through the storms, clinging to His love! That's why there are so many Sunday-only Christians; they know the ritual, not the God behind it.

God wants you to have a relationship with Him. He doesn't want you to pray or read the Bible because you feel obligated. He wants you to pray and read the Bible when you want to, and with a joyous heart. It's important, yes, but if you love God, He'll give you the desire to do it--and you won't have to force the Scripture down your throat in order to feel less guilty.

If you don't like the Bible or praying, ask Him to give you the desire. He'll give you all the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). Doing "spiritual things" isn't an obligation. Obligations deaden your spiritual life. God wants you to have a passionate walk; He wants you to have fun and to love spending time with Him. Stop thinking, "I HAVE to read the Bible," start thinking, "I can if I want to."

Miraculously, you'll start wanting to.

Have fun with your faith! When Jesus walked on water to his disciples*, and they were all amazed, don't you think he laughed at their expressions?

Jesus: Dude, Peter, the look on your face!

Peter: You were walking on water!

Jesus: Have faith, bro. You can do it too.

Peter: *flipping through ancient Scriptures* Where in here does it say that God can defy the laws of physics?

Bruh. Where does it say that he can't?

Here's your final assignment. Go to reverendfun(dot)com and laugh your face off. Then check out thechurchofnopeople(dot)com. Grab some popcorn. Enjoy.


*Water to Wine - John 2:1-11

*Drunkard, glutton - Matt 11:18-19

*Dinner with Pharisee - Luke 7:36-44

*Life to the full - John 10:10

*Walk on Water – Matt 14:22-33


Alllll right, Maggot! You've finished. Ye gads, I thought I'd never see the day, yet here we are. You know how to get in the Word, you know a bit about prayer, and we've looked at seven ways to get like Jesus--worship Him with your life, hang with your entourage, stand in God's power, keep His peace, act on His Word, serve and remember to have fun!

So I guess all that's left is to stick you out there in the real world, Maggot. The world is your battlefield.

You don't need this old soldier anymore, and I...I...I feel a bit teary inside. Excuse me.

It's been fun, Maggot. I know you'll make a great soldier, and I'll see you in Heaven someday.


Author's Note:

iPreach is complete.

At least, for now. I hope these words have helped you along the way, and I'd love to hear if I've inspired you at all (or ticked you off, or bored you to death...). I think it's time for me to work on a new project.

The new project is very rough-cut and in the planning stages, but if anyone wants to be a beta-reader, I'd love to hear from you!


Zachary Leon lives in a bakery. His favorite pastimes are eating powdered donuts and spying on the customers--but he never expects some crazy chick to spy back. The secret organization that expelled him three years ago is giving him a second chance. But to be a member, he has to crotch-kick demons, study the epic called the Bible and surrender to "Christ." Tattoos, demons, Scripture, intrigue, mortality, fatality and eternal life. Zack has to lose his life to save his soul.

Beta-readers welcome. :] iPreach testimonies welcome. Prayer requests definitely welcome. Reviews welcome. Love and hugs freely given.

Thank you all so much for sticking through this with me. It's been a crazy ride. And thank you, EmilyMentioned, for reviewing almost every chapter. :D *smileys for everyone!*