Bitten Lips, Acidic Smiles

I am a star chart for robotic conformists

I'm bent , expelling

Writhing, my guts – twisted-

Into the icy crevice of porcelain

I scream, not aloud

I pop 3 aspirin and walk with my head down.

I'm sick and I don't know why.

I'm a liar.

I can feel the shit I've spewed crawling at the back of my neck.

Its breathing is short and harsh and made up of

Everything

Everything I've spewed.

To myself and to the people who loved me.

Wet and shivering, and disgusting evil little things

That's what I've become.

A lying, endless, machine

It's horribly monotonous.

When did I let apathy sting me to sleep?

I stuff my face until my stomach pit thrashes and churns

I starve until my hair falls out

I smile with the back of my eyes.

I cry when I'm lying on the bathroom floor.

I pound my fist against a brick wall while you stand and clap.

Applauding my head first plunge

Into the asphalt that took your

Brother, and his best friend, their mother.

And your breathing becomes short when the curtains pull back

Do you like my little plays?

Are they bright enough?

Clever?

A masterpiece?

Will they kill me?

Will you touch me?

Can you tell me to move?

Is this a functioning limb?

Skeleton hands, skeleton boy you are

My reason for breathing

I shouldn't be here

And when they come calling

There is no wronging

I have my scattered bones

Chips, little pearls

Almost vanished.

You love me, so save yourself.

You bite your lips,

Acidic smiles.