December 25th, 11 pm

Home, Attic

My life sucks. I hate my family. I hate them! None of them know anything about me. None of them! All I got for Christmas was a crap load of clothes (none at all my style!) and a bunch of journals. Five of them! Five fucking journals! DonÕt people at least talk to each other to make sure theyÕre not all getting me the same God damned thing?! I got a journal from Richard (my brother; heÕs 24 and lives in Maine), my aunt, my other aunt, my grandmother, and my uncle! Journals are something you get someone when you donÕt know what else to get them or said someone really loves writing. I, for one, do not love writing, but just for that reason I will not let these books go to waste. I mean, if innocent trees were killed so that I could write down my feelings and shit, then I shall write down my feelings and shit.

But see if I get those morons anything but journals and preppy clothes for next year. ÔCause I swear, thatÕs what theyÕll be getting.

December 25th, 11:30 pm

Home, Bedroom

Why is there nothing on TV? Why does the TV always do this to me? Why can there not be anything good on TV for once? This sucks. I paid almost $200 to get this television for my room, and it absolutely refuses to play anything worth my viewing!

IÕm suing the networks.

December 25th, 11:50 pm

Home, Bedroom

Oh, my God! I lost my Rattle Bear! I cannot sleep without my Rattle Bear! I need Rattle! I have slept with Rattle since I was four years old, I cannot deal with this separation! I simply cannot!

Right, mother took it. I bet you she did. She took my adorable pink bear with the rattle inside. I know she did. IÕm gonna go ask.


SHE THREW HIM AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE KILLED RATTLE!!!!! --I know, too many exclamation points, but trust me, this situation is an exception-- She took a knife and she stabbed him, and when she did so, she stabbed me as well. How am I to sleep without my Rattle??? Why, O God, why?!

And you know what her reason is for tossing my precious teddy bear into the garbage? She thinks IÕm too old to be sleeping with a stuffed animal! Pfft! I mean, sure, IÕm fifteen, but I loved that bear like a little brother. We even had arguments like I would with a little brother, were I to have one. How could that poor excuse for a mother so heartlessly throw away my little brother? And on Christmas too.

So, when I came back to my room after asking Mother where Rattle was I was super pissed. Hence, why my clock is broken.

Damn. Just realized, FatherÕs going to make me pay for a new one.

December 26th, 5:30 pm

Home, Attic

I cannot believe this. Why does this sort of thing always have to happen to me? I hate my parents. I really do. How could they do this? This is the worst thing theyÕve ever done to me, even worse then Mother throwing away my little brother. What happened to the Christmas spirit, and love? Does that just evaporate once dinnerÕs over or something?

Well, thereÕs a simple why of getting out of this. I will just have to refuse to go. Mmm hmm. IÕll just lock myself up here is the attic. Ha! ThatÕll show Ôem! ÔCause nobody, NOBODY, makes Katherine Ophelia Attwater go anywhere she doesnÕt want to go.

So, this is how it happened. I was just sitting in my bedroom minding my own business, and reading The Blue Sword when my parents both came in, without knocking mind you, and sat down and said. ÒWe need to talk to you about something, Katie.Ó I really hate when they call me Katie. ItÕs Katherine, KATH-ER-INE! TheyÕre the ones who named me, why canÕt they remember that?

For a beautiful moment I thought it was just going to be the ÒDonÕt Do DrugsÓ talk or the ÒWait ÔTil YouÕre MarriedÓ talk. But oh, no, no, no, no, no. It was a brand new talk, it was the ÒWeÕre Going Away for the Three Weeks to Work Out Our Sex Problems and You Are Staying With the BlackwoodÕs and Their Son Who We Know Constantly Teases and Makes Fun of You But We CouldnÕt Care if We TriedÓ talk. I hate them.

Will Blackwood is the most infuriating man on the planet! He makes rude remarks and teases me every single chance he gets. In my freshman year I could not go a day without him saying something sure to embarrass or aggravate me! I mean, I even heard someone say once. ÒHey, isnÕt that that girl Will is always picking on?Ó Can you believethat?

IÕd thought IÕd been rid of him when he graduated from high school last June. But no. Turns out his mother and my mother had been old college buddies. The BlackwoodÕs moved in a few blocks down last July. And I have had to endure him eating dinner at our house (or eating dinner at his house) every single weekend since. And now I have to spend the duration of three weeks with him?! Why, oh why, can he not just go back to the damned college of his and leave me alone?!

I remember this one time, when we went to his house to eat dinner, he said all smart ass like. ÒWhoa, didnÕt know my parents were inviting a temple prostitute to dinner. Like the new look, Attwater.Ó That day my friends, Maggie and Laura, had tried to paint me up like an Egyptian Queen. IÕd forgotten that IÕd be eating at the BlackwoodÕs, and when Mother told me I tried desperately to scrub all the paint off my face. But it was a really shitty brand and I only succeeded in turning my face red.

Both WillÕs parents had been surprised by my appearance as well, but they didnÕt call me a prostitute! Mr. Blackwood had asked. ÒWhat happened to your face, Katie?Ó IÕm sure he didnÕt mean to sound rude. HeÕs just like that.

Mrs. Blackwood elbowed him and said. ÒErm, is this part of your Halloween costume, honey?Ó She always calls me that. Like IÕm her daughter or something. Mom said Mrs. Blackwood has always wanted a daughter. This is probably the reason they were so quick to accept my three week residence. I have to go back to school on January 10th, but I wonÕt be leaving the BlackwoodÕs till January 21st. God help me.

Anyway. When Mom and Dad were finished telling me the horrid news, I ran up here to the attic, and now have locked the door. Ha! See if they can make me go now!

December 26th, 6 pm

Home, Bedroom

I forgot dad had a key for the attic door. Mom and Dad are dropping me off tomorrow at the BlackwoodÕs on their way to the airport. They get to go Hawaii.

I hate my life.