A/N: Created out of boredom and writer's block. Estimated time of original writing: 2006, possibly 2005. Will continue if I deem so.


100 Things You Can Do With Your Time Instead of Reading This Story


[ Where this origination of this book came from, well that's easy. It's lunchtime and school, and Chris, Bradley, Sean and Me are just randomly talking like we usually do. So this idea pops out of nowhere, and it sound like fun. So here we go! ]


#1 – You can have fun by reading this line over and over again till you probably go insane of reading this so much or you fall over and die from laughter of how fun it was to read this over and over again. Although, if any of you do that second part, uhhh, I don't know…maybe prayer is needed…much prayer.

#2 – You can light something on fire.
Pyros enjoy these types of pleasures. The magical awe of seeing things burning. I don't get it though. Does fire look pretty? Is it just amusing, kind of like what I said above? I guess we'll never know.

#3 – Figure out why pyros like fire.

#4 – Go to Africa.
Doesn't that just sound fun? Find out why Yellow Fever is yellow. Go and find the cure for AIDS or something. Go get hepatitis, have fun, do all those "things you do in Africa". (?)

#5 –Solve a math problem.
Well since you undoubtedly have math homework from school, or you are:

- A good little boy or girl who graduated from high school and college

- A good little boy or girl who graduated from just high school and you are in that process of becoming a college student

- A drop-out

- Or just a toddler who doesn't even understand what I am saying, so I could try to speak your language, but I don't think I'll get past even saying 'boo' to 'you'.

And in that case, you should be solving math problems anyway. So if you're not, solve a math problem. It ain't that hard. What's 2+2? Well if you guessed 4, you could be right, you could be wrong. You're going to have to solve it on your own. I ain't helping you. 5 might be the answer. We'll never know until you solve the problem! *

#6 – Type the phrase, "Tell people to read (INSERT STORY TITLE HERE) and you might start to have friends" and then e-mail it to your friends.
That'll make them feel ultra special!

#7 – Annoy a telemarketer.
That is always a good way to have fun, because they are so annoying to the average person, like you and me. I wouldn't say you're average because you're reading this, and that's….pretty…pathetic. But hey! Thanks for reading. You can say stuff like,

"Can I call YOU back later? May I have your home-phone number?"

"Can't I interest YOU in some of my new facial products?"

And when they reply, no, you say "Ohh, is that annoying for you. Well now you know how I feel!" And then you could hang up, or you could even become best friends with this annoying telemarketer and then call him the next day, just because you want to hang out. Who knows what will happen.

#8 – Be a bum.
Being a bum is quite fun. You can listen to people talking, you can watch rich people flick dimes in your eyes, you can get beat up by the "usual Tuesday" gang. Hey you can even bring a guitar. Wouldn't you like a case full of change?

#9 – Order 10 "fully-loaded" pizzas to your neighbor's house.
Pop some popcorn, whip out a folding chair, and watch the action. Now I call that, a Friday night movie.

#10 – Become a part-time pizzeria dough-flipping guy.

Do you ever see those guys? Those guys are so cool. I mean, they don't even get like tips but you sit there and watch him and you just want to give him money for no apparent reason. The flipping of the dough is so like, magical and peaceful.

#11 – Build a Lego mountain that is taller than you.

I believe they have people that do that for a living. What would be better than playing with Legos and getting paid for it?! But a Lego mountain taller than yourself would be a triumph beyond many little pip-squeaky kids! You could put it out in your front yard and be all triumphant, and 'them' kids be like, "What, but that's so.." , and you be all, "Yeah, back away. 200 feet."

#12 – You could surf.

Surfing is "mucho" fun. But if you want big thrills and big waves, you'll probably have to leave the U.S, unless you're lucky and live on the West Coast. So you'll need lots of money to leave America, on an airplane or maybe a boat. Riding on a boat also sounds fun. That could be #12 ½. Well a boat is fun, besides getting sea sick, or getting thrown into shark-infested waters. So, how bout' no boat. Why don't you go to Hawaii to surf? Like, Maui would be cool! Ok, maybe Maui is overrated, and have you seen or heard how expensive everything is in Hawaii? Well, maybe you shouldn't go to Hawaii after all. Heck, maybe you shouldn't even go surfing, cause you could die! Die! You hear me? Die! Dead! Muerte! Happy now?!


FOOTNOTES

* ANSWER TO MATH PROBLEM: 2+2=5 - So says Radiohead!!! (of which I do not own)