EDIT: the 'hic' in the sentences.
"Sing it." He whispered.
I felt the cold metal press against my skin, the barrel of the gun hard against my neck. I swallowed a lump in my throat and tried to turn around.
"Don't move." He commanded. I stopped and froze, fear shooting down my body paralyzing me.
"Why are you doing this?" I whispered, scared. Scared if I said anything he would shoot me. Yet at the same time, I felt a small twinge of sadness and regret.
He didn't reply.
"Just sing it." He said, prodding me with gun, urging me to get on with it. I closed my eyes, and with a tremble, I opened my mouth.
Some where over the rainbow,
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of,
Once in a lullaby.
"Hey!" I laughed as Tyler splashed me with water. We were supposed to be washing the O'Brien's car but somehow we ended up washing ourselves.
"Ha!" I yelled in triumph as I threw a wet sponge at him. It hit him square at the back of his neck, the water soaking up the rest of his white shirt. He froze and turned around showing me a face full of hurt, his brown eyes wide with shock. He ran a hand through his sandy brown hair letting his lower lip jut out slightly.
I walked over carefully, calling his name every few moments. I was pretty sure I didn't throw the sponge too hard. After all it was a sponge.
I came over and raised a hand to brush away his hair from his eyes, when suddenly they twinkled and he broke out into a large grin. I screamed with laughter, but it was too late, he caught me within his arms and would not let me escape.
"Tylerrrr!" I whined playfully, drawing out the 'r' in his name.
"Yes?" He replied, his brown eyes looking at mine soulfully. I stared back. I felt something catch in my throat. My cheeks warmed up as his gaze intensified.
Our face were close when,
"Oi! What do you think we're paying you for! Get a move on you love birds!" Mr. O'Brien yelled. I glared for him ruining the moment, he was a sour man and his wife was equally lovely. But the reason why we were doing this was we needed summer pocket money, and the O'Brien's were the only people on the block who gave generously.
"Chloe! Look a rainbow." Tyler said, catching my attention , in one hand he held the hose, holding it at such an angle that the streaming water caught the afternoon sunlight. I stared at it transfixed, I haven't seen anything so pretty for a long time. I felt a strange sense of nostalgia wash over me. But before the feeling could actually take over my senses, I felt my shirt begin to soak gradually from behind. I felt a shock of cold zip down my skin and I yelped.
"Last one to get the sponge owes the other a Starbucks frappaccino!"
Somewhere over the rainbow,
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream,
Really do come true.
"Go on, keep singing it. Why'd you stop?" It was more a statement than a question.
I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Where did things go wrong? What did I do? The metal against my skin was good enough reminder.
"I…can't.."The words were stuck in my throat. " Look… if you want to shoot me. Just go ahead. Do it. Don't waste your time. Why don't you just do it. For her." I said, the last two words catching in my throat. I had no idea what I was saying. But deep down I hoped that he wouldn't pull the trigger and end my life.
"I'm not doing it yet. Not yet. Not until you finish the song."
"Why not?" I said already knowing the answer.
"Because, I want you to feel the pain that Jenny felt as she killed herself. That's why."
"This is the best frappaccino ever." I sipped at the cold drink, feeling the creamy substance slide down my throat, quenching my thirst. I smiled and I knew how lucky I was. Not just to get the drink in general, but to have Tyler as a boyfriend. I can't really imagine what life without Tyler would be like. I know him inside out, almost literally. We were the typical girl-next-door scenario. We grew up together, naked in each others gardens chasing each other when we were little, and even now being fifteen, we still haven't changed, but we have grown closer. In fact if Tyler wasn't in my life, I think I would have died.
The condensation on the plastic cup slid down the sides of my hands, and I reminisced how I acquired the drink.
I was running for the sponge as was Tyler, but before I could actually get there, Tyler 'tripped' and let me get the sponge first. I knew he had tripped on purpose and told him so, but he pretended not to know what I was talking about. In the end he almost forced the drink into my hand. Not that I minded a free drink, but I was so touched by his affection for me.
I linked my free hand through his hand and he held it firmly. Firmly enough o know he was there, yet gently enough to let me know that he was trying to be careful and that I was a fragile creature in his life.
We walked past the local park were mothers were desperately trying to round up their children, and where surly teenagers hung out, smoking weed and cigarettes. Tyler once told me, if he ever caught me smoking he would yell and wouldn't talk to me for a year. I raised an eyebrow at them and turned my head away in pity. Who knew what was going to happen to their lives? I knew my life would be okay. Okay because Tyler was here.
I saw Jenny walking over from the other side of the street clutching two letters and a shopping bag. I smiled, Jenny was my second life long friend. The sister I never had. I first met her on the swing set when I was five, she pushed me off the swings, demanding she wanted to get on, but when she saw my face all red and about to cry she let me get on afterwards. We hit it off then and became almost sisters.
"Jenny!" I yelled across the street, waving to get her attention. She waved back and jogged over to us, brown bag rustling as she got nearer.
"Hi." She said breathlessly.
"Need some help?" Tyler asked, hand outstretched.
"Nah, I'm fine. My house is really close to here anyway so…"
"Whatever." He replied and took the bags from her anyway.
"Oh you shouldn't have."But Jenny smiled her thanks and turned to me.
"So, how was your day? Washing the O'Brien's cars I hear?"
"Oh yeah, that…It was stupid but we did earn a lot of money though!" I proudly displayed the three twenty dollar bills we earned together.
"Wow!" Jenny said, taking a closer look, then straightening up she said, "Did you know the O'Brien's are leaving after this summer?"
Tyler and I exchanged a look. He shrugged and turned away. I stood there in thought and figured it was no big loss. What did I care, senior year was drawing close and I was excited.
Someday I'll wish upon a star,
And wake up when the clouds are far,
"Oh god, we have some much homework already!" Jenny groaned under the weight of textbooks and papers.
"I know and it's only the first week." I groaned back attempting to open my locker with one hand unsuccessfully.
"Hey." Tyler said appearing next to us, bag slung over his shoulder.
"Hi." I replied still failing to open the locker.
"Want some help, Chlo?" He asked just as I opened it. Jenny put her books in and slumped against her locker, finally managing to slam it shut. I grinned, Jenny was so messy, almost everything imaginable was in there, all piled to the sky. Hairbrushes, spare t shirts, books, a pair of straighteners and oddly enough a jar of peanut butter. I asked her about it once, she just replied simply, "Peanut butter cures the broken hearted." And we left it at that.
I put my books away neatly all in order and separated books and binders into according shelves. Tyler let out a sigh of exasperation.
" I swear you have, like, OCD or something." He muttered. I laughed and playfully punched his arm.
"C'mon guys, wanna hit the café of something before we spilt?" Jenny piped up, bag all set to go.
"Sounds good." Tyler said and slung an arm around her shoulders. Jenny giggled and I just laughed.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops,
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
"Jenny…why?" My voice was thick and confused.
"Because, he loves me. I love him. It's as simple as that." Jenny shrugged. The walls were darkening around us, we were in her room supposedly working on our biology project.
"Possible." Jenny finished smirking. "Get out."
"What?" I was now seriously confused. She was kicking me out? Wait what?
"I don't want my boyfriend's ex in my room." She said crossing her arms over her small diminutive chest. Jenny was small and petite, but now she seemed bigger and more frightening than ever.
"Jen I don't understand!" I blurted out.
"Of course you wouldn't." Jenny smiled patronizingly and patted my arm. I flinched visibly at the touch and shrank away.
"He doesn't love you. Because, he claimed me, instead of you." Jenny said, smile broadening after releasing this particularly juicy information. I stumbled back hitting the wall.
What happened to my life long loving best friend? What happened to all those times we shared and giggled over secrets and troubles? What happened to my sweet Jennifer Chrysler?
"So, I want you, to get out, now." She said gesticulating after every phrase, as if I didn't understand enough.
"Get out!" She grabbed me by the sleeve and marched me down the stairs. This had to be some sort of nightmare, the kind that let you wake up just before the worst came. That's right, I must've not gotten up yet for school.
But too late I was out the door and it was slammed behind me. A window opened upstairs and Jenny let my bag drop to the driveway.
"And don't bother coming back." The window slammed shut. The street was ominously quiet with a lone street lamp flickering on and off.
I felt all cold and prickly as if I was just doused in ice-water. I picked up my bag with shaky hands and clutched it to my chest. I wasn't really sure what had just happened, it went all too fast. I fished around for my phone fingers all wobbly and shaky, as if I was a first born lamb learning how to walk.
The bright screen lit up my face and my thumb hovered over the key pad. I began to dial a sequence of numbers, the dial rang and with bated breath I waited. Ty was going to tell me it was okay. Or even better, I was going to wake up from this nightmarishly wrong dream. Then,
"Hello?" Tyler's rusty voice came over the phone.
"Ty. Oh my god, I just had this-"
"Chloe," He interrupted smoothly, "I have to tell you something." I went quiet, no, this wasn't happening. He wasn't going to say it was he? It's all a dream, yeah that's right. A dream.
"We need to take a break from each other."
My stomach fell right through my feet, and I was falling, falling through a nameless tunnel of darkness were there was nobody to catch me. I went cold.
"Do you mean, take a break as in, break up?" I blushed at how my voice cracked at the end, but I was far from caring now.
"Uh, I guess…" Tyler was uncomfortable now I could tell. I could practically see the guilt oozing through the phone. " Look, Jenny-"
"Jenny!" I gave a harsh derisive laugh. Tyler was silent at the other end.
"Chloe look, don't make a scene-"
"Fine." I said with uncharacteristic briskness. "Fine. We're through."
"Chloe, stop. Don't be like-" I snapped my phone shut cutting him off. I stared at my phone and then the tears that never came rushed down my face and I trudged back home, never feeling so alone in my entire life.
"Tyler, do you remember that day?" I said timidly, still not turning around. Although Tyler had been listening to the song, never did the gun leave my neck, nor did it waver in strength.
He grunted his response, I continued on anyway.
"That day when we washed the O'Brien's car and you made a rainbow?"
"No." He said bluntly.
"Finish the song. You only sung two verses."
"Don't 'Ty' me. Just finish the song." He snapped. I stood still, hands loose against my sides. But I still didn't continue singing.
"Now!" He yelled, he pulled the trigger and aimed it at the floor. The bullet hit the ground not far from where my foot was. I could feel the wind and heat as the bullet exploded out of the barrel. I screamed and he immediately clapped a hand over my mouth. His breath was hot near my ear. Whispering he prodded me with the butt of the gun and once again I opened my mouth, this time with tears streaming down my cheeks, dripping on to the floor.
Somewhere over the rainbow,
Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then, oh why cant I?
It wasn't fair! How could everything that I had in this world just disappear like that in one night? I threw my bag hard against the wall venting my anger. I had gone through all the stages listed in Hello! First the denial and shock, then the mood swings. Now I was angry and there was nothing In the world that could stop me.
I heard stirring from downstairs, and for a moment my rage dissipated. But as soon as my eyes landed on that picture of Jenny and I making funny faces while holding an ice cream, my anger flared up again.
That look of pure triumph and malice was branded in my mind and it made my blood boil. I marched over to the picture frame, and took the photograph out of it. I ripped it in half, then into quarters. I ripped the part where Jenny's face was particularly viciously. I tore the photograph pieces even smaller, and when I finally couldn't rip them anymore I twisted each piece into a mangled ball.
I felt great. No, exhilarated. I felt better than I ever had in my whole entire evening.
I gathered all the things I ever had with Jenny or Tyler and tossed them into the middle of the room. The CD that Tyler burned for me for our fourth year of being 'together' and the art set that Jen had gotten me on my birthday. I held the note that Tyler had written 'I love you' on it, and felt tears prick at my eyes. I couldn't stop the memory from replaying in my head.
It was after a party and Tyler had come to get me. I was a little bit tipsy after having some beer. Okay so maybe it was a bit too much after the fourth cup. Everything was just so comical and funny and I couldn't stop laughing.
"C'mon Chlo, get a grip." Tyler said looping an arm around my waist to support me. I just giggled and nearly fell flat on my face. And then I giggled again.
"Tylerrrr, your face.." I said pointing and laughing at it. I don't know why I found it funny, maybe it was his expression. I really don't know.
"Uh Chloe, how much did you drink?" Tyler asked grip tightening so I wouldn't fall. My body was so loose and it felt like I was floating.
"Haha, maybe one or two glasses?" I slurred leaning on his shoulder. Suddenly my legs didn't feel like moving anymore. More like, I didn't want to move them anymore.
"Yeah right. I bet you had like four glasses or something." Tyler said frowning. Seeing as I refused to move, he sighed. Then sighed again to let me know he was annoyed. His sandy hair fell into his eyes and he blew them away. I giggled and doubled over.
Tyler led me to a park bench and sat me down on it. He flopped down next to and laced his hands around the back of his head. I leaned me head against his shoulder. I was slowly coming down from my high and my chest was heaving slightly from the rush of adrenaline. As I rested, things came into focus really slowly. My head started to hurt a little but it didn't bother me too much.
"Chloe," Tyler said suddenly, opening his eyes.
"Hmm?" I said a bit drowsily.
"I love you."
"No I heard what you said." I said slowly, a familiar feeling of warmth flooded through me all the way to the tips of my fingers and back. " I just cant believe you said it."
"I meant it!" Ty replied indignantly.
"I know you did, because I love you too." And with that I tilted my head towards his and he closed the distance.
My first kiss and my worst (and last) hangover ever.
I sighed as I came back to earth. The note that I had, was a sort of couple ritual thing. Everyday Tyler would slip a note that said 'I love you' into my bag but I wouldn't know when. With sadness and regret I ripped the note up slowly. I let myself close my eyes for this bit to save my heart from breaking just a tiny bit more. Then within mid-rip I suddenly had inspiration. I leapt toward my neglected bag whish was cast off in the corner, I emptied it all out and searched for a tiny scrap of paper with Tyler's neat handwriting on it.
It wasn't in the pockets, it wasn't in any corner. My movements became rushed and hurried, my head became feverish, never did I feel so panicked, then again tonight was a night where I was experiencing a lot of extreme emotions. I checked through my folders and papers in case the note may have slipped itself in between sheets of paper. Finally I let the bag fall through my fingers, the note. It wasn't there. I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose once, then twice.
I forced myself to open my eyes. I was going to have Tyler back. Even if it was the last thing I did.
"No, no this can't be happening!" I groaned.
"What?" Jenny asked concerned. School had finished and I was supposed to meet up with Jen and Tyler at a bar to celebrate our coming of age to legally drink alcohol.
"I got a stupid meeting with Mr. de Klee to talk about exams and theory!" I exclaimed shaking my planner at Jenny. She took it while I banged head against the metal locker repetitively. Normally, Tyler wouldn't have minded if I was late but I lately, due to work I had been postponing date after date and I promised him that I would make it tonight. I had completely forgotten about Mr. de Klee.
"Well first, I suggest you stop banging your head against the locker before you give yourself concussion, and second, why don't you ask Mr. de Klee if you can go early?" Jen said with a pleased smile, handing back the planner.
"I can't! You know Mr. de Klee, one he won't let me go early, and two if he does he's going to ask why and I can't just say: to get drunk with my friends!" I wailed. " Tyler is so going to kill me!" I moaned and slumped to the floor.
"Look, why don't I go and I'll stay with Tyler till you come, alright?" Jenny said kneeling down next to me, a hand on my shoulder.
I nodded morosely knowing that I had no choice.
"Good girl. Let's get up and the faster you get Mr. de Klee over and done with, the less Tyler is going to get mad at you, alright?" Jenny said.
I nodded again, this time slightly more cheered up. It was good to have a plan.
Jenny walked down the street keeping an eye open for a neon blue sign with the words The Bar twisted on it. She brightened as it came into view. Pushing the glass door open she entered a semi dark room with pulsing dark lights and low jazz music. Jen spotted Tyler sitting by the bar drinking a glass of golden coloured liquid. Lush plants in pots were in corners and between tables, and there were a lot of people lounging on the sofas laughing and chatting.
She flashed her ID card at the barman with a smile and sat down next to Tyler.
"Hey." She greeted him cheerfully. "One manhattan on the rocks." She signalled to the barman. He inclined his head as to acknowledge her and began to prepare her drink.
"So, where's Chloe?" Tyler asked as he watched the barman mix and pour alcohol into a cocktail mixer.
"She's on her way, she just had to talk to Mr. de Klee." Jen said swinging her legs on the stool.
"I see." Tyler said and took another sip of his beer.
"Yes Mr. de Klee." I wrote down some notes on what he said and I couldn't help but check the clock every few minutes. I scrunched my face in frustration and tapped my pencil on my clipboard impatiently.
"Are you alright, Chloe?" Mr. de Klee asked concernedly.
"Yes sir. What were you saying about the exam questions?" I asked politely. Mr. de Klee started droning again, and once again my eyes found the hands of the clock.
I was desperate to get this over with.
"So then she says,' I'm blonde!'" Tyler exclaimed clutching his glass tightly. Jenny laughed along gaily and tipped the rest of her drink down her throat. Time had gone by quite a bit and both were on to their fourth cocktails.
Tyler stopped laughing and leaned back in his chair letting out a sigh.
"One vodka in a shot glass please." He motioned to the bartender. "Hey, Jenny, want to play 'Shots'?" Tyler asked.
"No, what's that?"
"It's a really fun game." Ty said with a grin and asked for one more. The barman pushed the two small glasses across the counter and Tyler passed one over to Jen.
"On two. One, two!" Tyler downed the glass and slammed the glass back down. Jenny took some small sips as the hard liquid slowly made its way into her bloodstream.
"You know, Jenny, Chloe is always late?" Tyler said laughing, his words tumbling into each other, as he tipped the shot glass over on to the table with one finger.
"She is?" Jenny said drowsily, head swaying a bit. The music was soft and had a good rhythm and it was putting her to sleep.
"Yeah, like she never wants to see me or something."
"Really…" Jenny was really sleepy now. The rough voice of Tyler was really getting hard to hear now.
"She's always late! Never on time!" And downed another glass. Tyler sighed and wiped the back of his hands across his lips.
"Ty…I really…" She struggled to say the words. They just seemed to be stuck in her throat, unwilling to come out.
I was getting irritated now. Several times I had hinted to Mr. de Klee that I had to go but he didn't seem to pick up on that point. I had been sitting in his office for over two hours taking notes dutifully and listening and now I was tired and really needed to see Tyler.
"Sir, can I go soon?" I asked hopefully.
"Yes, just let me cover the basics on the second and first clauses, and you can go."
I hoped Tyler wouldn't be too angry, but I guess he had every right to be. Oh why couldn't Mr. de Klee hurry up.
"Jen, are you ok?" Tyler asked words slurring, shifting around in his seat. Jenny's head just nodded slightly.
"You know Jen, I think you're so beautiful. More than Chloe." Tyler added eyes closing dangerously. Jenny lifted up her head and looked at him with slightly out of focus eyes.
"Yeah……" Tyler nodded emphatically forcing his eyes open.
"Really?" Jen said quietly smiles tugging at her lips. With a clumsy effort she draped her arms around his neck and pulled his head toward her.
"I think you're the most handsome boy I've ever met." She said with an effort, while just hanging onto his neck.
Tyler grinned a lazy smile and kissed Jenny. Much to his surprise and pleasure she responded eagerly.
"Oh my goodness! Look at the time." Mr. de Klee exclaimed checking his watch. I lifted my eyebrows and struggled to my feet.
"So can I go now?"
"Yes, yes, I hope I didn't hold you up too much." He said smiling.
"No not at all." Yes very. In fact I'm so late, my boyfriend is going to murder me.
Mr. de Klee held the door open for me. I walked past and wished him a good night, then sprinting I ran down to the bar where I knew they would be waiting.
Tyler disentangled his arms from Jenny with much difficulty. Jenny was now fully awake, but still very intoxicated. She attempted to pull him back in but he shook his head.
"Jen, come back to my place." He aid tugging on her shirt.
"Ok." She nodded and clambered off her chair, and fell straight on to the floor, bringing Tyler with her.
"Whoa!" He hollered and laughed. Jenny had landed on top of him and in the midst of getting up she had squirmed a lot.
Laughing they made it out of the door, with many drunken apologies to the people around them. They just glared and moved skirts and shoes out of the way of the highly intoxicated teenagers.
I arrived breathless at the bar. I checked the time and swore. Ten thirty, I hadn't realized it had gotten so late. I pushed the door open and scanned the room. There were a lot of people milling around dancing and hanging out in large groups.
"Excuse me," I pushed through some people and finally made it to the bar.
"Excuse me, but have you seen a sandy haired boy and a small, blonde haired girl?" I said desperately. The bartender nodded slowly. Wiping his hands on a rag he replied,
"They left about fifteen minutes ago, you just missed them."
"Oh..I..um. Thanks." I stood rooted to the floor for a few moments in some shock.
"Ma'am, would you like a drink?" The barman asked politely. I shook my head and turned towards the door. I felt really bad now. I can't believe I managed to miss a date again. Oh I felt really really bad now. Close to tears I could barely see.
I hailed a cab and mumbled directions. The cabbie inclined his head and took off down the road while I pressed a hand to my mouth to cover my tears.
If happy little bluebirds fly,
Beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh why can't I?
I finished on the last note and slowly turned around to face him. His face was serious his eyes glaring at me, yet through the anger I could see the tiniest bit of pain almost clouded by steely rage.
"I finished the song." I said almost inaudibly.
"You have a good voice." He said tonelessly. But the gun never lowered.
But I wasn't afraid anymore. I took a step forward, the gun was now pressing into my jugular. I slowly placed my hands on his arm, and raised my eyes to meet his.
I could now see confusion and the scared little boy in his eyes.
"Do it. I know you want to." I said challenging him.
I wasn't afraid. I wasn't afraid of Tyler.
I looked around the corridor and made sure no one was around to witness my sinful act. I had skipped out of PE saying I had that time of month and couldn't swim. I also knew for a fact that sweet little Jenny had History which was on the other side of the building. I quickly made my way to our lockers which were thankfully side-by-side. I also knew her locker combination. I knew a lot of things about her.
I spun the dial rapidly and the locker door swung open. Then with determination and rage I plunged my hands into her mess and pulled everything out. I pulled books and papers out. Ripping the loose sheets with vigour and throwing the books on the floor and down the corridor as far as they would go. Then with satisfaction I pulled a out small spray can that I nicked this morning from the Art room and closed the locker door. Locking it I then sprayed the following words.
'I am a Boyfriend Stealer' in bright red paint.
I smiled hollowly at my handiwork. If she thought this was horrible, she had another thought coming.
This was the least I could do. And I was going to do more.
School was out and everyone piled out of the classrooms and into the hallway. There was the familiar sound of light banter and the sound of slamming locker doors. I waited for it.
Then a scream.
I smiled in satisfaction, collecting my books I made it out to the hallway and wormed my way through the crowd.
"What happened?" I asked a girl who was watching the scene with wide yes. Like I didn't know already.
"Jennifer just had her locker ransacked and her locker is covered with red paint." She replied, eyes still wide.
"Oh my god, that's horrible." I said enunciating the' horrible' and made my eyes go really wide, feigning shock and horror.
"Yeah I know. Who would do such a thing?" The girl shook her head. I grimaced inside, I knew who would.
"You." Tyler grabbed me by the wrist, not making any attempt to make it gentle.
"Hi Tyler!" I said happily. Though I was aware of the position that I was in. He had one hand against the wall, with his body in front of me. I was trapped, but I pretended not to notice.
"How could you do such a thing to Jenny!" He roared. My sunny smile slipped off and I frowned. It was all about Jenny. Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. Sweet little Jenny who would do nothing to hurt anyone. But she did. In the lowest manner ever.
"Listen-" Tyler said angrily.
Then I snapped.
"No, you listen." I said raising my voice. " How could you go out with her? You just dump me for my BEST friend and you think I'm going to be alright with it?! Huh!?" I said yelling.
I swear I saw some hurt but it was gone in a flicker. I wonder if I imagined it.
"Look, if you ever hurt Jenny again…" Tyler lowered his voice.
"I don't care." I said my voice cracking, but I looked down at my toes while a lump rose to my throat. He was sticking up for her. Not me. That was all that registered in my mind.
I looked up and Tyler was gone. A sob tugged at the corner of my lips but I forced myself to let it go.
I had better things to do anyway.
I smiled coldly, revenge was fun. I read in a book once that 'revenge was a dish best served cold.' And I have never agreed more.
Jennifer Chrysler was no longer my friend. In fact she never will be. Not that she made an effort to be my friend anyway. Tyler had stopped talking to me all together and looked right through me like I didn't exist, I don't deny it, it hurt every single time he brushed past me.
I left hate notes, threatening notes, stole her books and exam papers the day before she needed them. I spilled water in her running shoes and I left threatening messages over the phone. Asking around, I hacked into Jenny's account and sent her emails from there. I framed her for a variety of crimes around school and managed to get her suspended for two days. My brain was tired, my body was tired but I wasn't going to give up yet. Not till I got Tyler back.
And now finally , I had her cornered against the wall in a dark remote alleyway.
I smiled coldly. Revenge was fun.
Jenny's eyes were darting around nervously. I felt a rush of adrenaline through my veins and it felt good. I took a step forward and let the fluorescent light shine on my face.
"Chloe…" She choked out. Her hands splayed against the walls. She was scared, and it was just the way I wanted her to be.
"Jenny, what is it like to steal a boyfriend? To back stab your best friend? Tell me, I'm really curious." I said taking a step closer. We were no less than a foot away from each other.
"I-I don't know!" Jen stammered, voice high pitched. She made a desperate dash to the left, but I was quicker , I slammed my palm into the wall narrowly missing her face. She flinched and her hands flew to her face.
"Were you trying to escape?" I said sweetly, my face close to hers. "Why, that's not very nice. Escaping from your best friend, now is it?"
"I-I know what you're trying to do!" Jenny said trying to put on a brave façade. But her eyes were still wide and scared.
My eyes narrowed dangerously. Right hand quivering dangerously by my side. But I restrained myself. Not yet, it wasn't time. I forced my lips into a smile.
"I-I warned you!" Jenny squeaked, whilst shrinking back against the wall. I pursed my lips and with one smooth stroke I hit her face hard with my hand. She shrieked and held her face with one hand, tear sparkling at the corner of her eyes. I felt my own tears prick at my eyes, it wasn't because I hit Jenny, it was because the pain that Jenny was feeling was nothing. Nothing compared to what I had been feeling for the last two months.
"No one can hear you." I said coldly. She whimpered and I raised my hand again. She flinched and at the same time my hand rushed towards her face, she let her right leg jerk me up. I gasped and grabbed her leg hard on the way down. I didn't bother to play nicely, I sunk my nails in and she screamed. I scratched her hard and she in turn kicked her leg at me catching me on the rib.
Ouch. That one hurt.
I gritted my teeth. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to be fighting back. She was supposed to be cowering against the wall while I shouted obscenities at her.
I cocked my fist and went to punch her. She foresaw what I was doing and grabbed my wrist twisting it painfully. Then grabbing my hair she yanked my head back hard.
"You think I wouldn't go down without a fight?" She whispered softly. She was out of breath and was panting slightly, but her eyes were wild and determined and showed no sign of fatigue. I stared at her eyes with the same determination.
If looks could kill.
But I fought dirty. I wasn't a nice girl everyone thought I was. I twisted my head around and bit her arm, hard. The flesh was soft and salty, and soon I could taste the copper hot liquid. I didn't let go. Even when she screamed bloody murder, I never let go. She hit my head hard, over and over again. But I didn't let go. In fact I sunk my teeth in even harder.
Blood was dripping from my mouth and head where she had cut me with one of her rings. Jenny in turn had a blue bruise welling up on her cheek and a gash all down her leg. My eyes were going faint, I couldn't feel my head anymore. No senses or anything reached my head. All I knew was that I had to hang on, or Tyler would never come to me.
Suddenly a strong pressure was applied to my neck making me let go and I realized no one was hitting my head either. With dim recognition I saw a familiar dark green jacket and a pair of jeans.
"Jenny? Jenny! Are you ok?" Tyler's voice dimly registered in my head. The hand was still holding the neck of my shirt, and I don't know how I was standing up.
"As for you…"Tyler pulled me up by the front of my shirt this time and pinned me against the wall.
"I told you, if you hurt her one more time…" He glared, he raised a fist and I shrank away. But there was no impact. I opened my eyes slowly. He dropped me to the floor.
"Pathetic." He murmured.
Jenny was doubled over, supporting her weight against the wall, unmoving. Tyler wrapped her up in his jacket caringly. He whispered soft words to her, and she nodded slowly. He touched her face and she winced slightly. Then stroking her hair he led her away, but not before glaring hard at me.
I lay on the hard asphalt ground. Feeling bits of gravel dig into my side and arms. I buried my face in my arms, hiding tears and rejection. Why did it keep happening? The broken heart thing. Every time I mended my heart with scotch-tape something would come and tear it all up again.
So fragile, the human mind.
I heard running footsteps.
"Miss! Are you alright?" I saw from the corner of my fuzzy vision, the kind helping hand of a middle age man, stooping down to help me.
I nodded slowly and my arm struggled to push my body up. He swiftly pulled me to my feet and led me to his car. I was so tired, emotionally and physically. I knew getting in to a stranger's car was a dangerous thing to do but…
"Where to miss?" He asked as he shut the driver's side door. I mumbled direction barely audible and fell asleep against the soft, worn leather of the car. Seat belt strapping me in safely.
I drifted awake to find the kind man handing me over to my mom who was busy apologising and fretting about me.
"I'm so sorry, I can't believe-" Mom placed a hand on my head. "Thank you so much, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this." She sounded close to tears.
"S'alright lady. It was a good thing I found her though, ma'am." He tipped his head. I rested my head against mom's shoulder, inhaling the familiar, sweet scent of Chanel No.7.
"I would invite you over for a cup of tea, but it is late and I do have to care of this one." She whispered the last two words.
"No no! Please don't bother, I have an important commitment from now anyway." The man said regretfully.
"Really? At eleven at night?" Mom sounded surprised.
"Well thank you very much. I really do appreciate your kindness." The sound of a car ignition and a gravel crunch and the car was gone.
Mom rubbed my arm with her hands to get the circulation flowing.
The rest was a blank.
I wrapped a blanket around me , tucking the corners under my feet and settled into the corner of the couch with a mug of coffee in my hands. I hadn't gone to school, not that I really cared. Mom was really worried and insisted I have a break from the pressure of school, and I happily agreed.
I watched the news half listening. Did Tyler care what happened to me? Such questions swirled around my head, mixing and bumping into each other. I shook them from my head as a bouncy advertisement came on. I sung along and took a sip of my bittersweet coffee.
"We delay the weather forecast to announce a news flash, a few hours ago, a young girl of fifteen, Jennifer Chrysler committed suicide. Reasons are unknown, however there was a note in her room, appeared to be written before hanging herself by shower curtain, adjacent to her bedroom.
Police are still searching…."
My mug dropped and coffee spilled all over the floor seeping into the cracks. I blocked out the rest of the words and watched the woman in a shiny bun speak.
I was…I don't know what I felt. Everything felt way too sudden. That black hole, I was falling through it again. In fact I never stopped falling since that day Jenny kicked me out of her house.
I knew my actions were cruel and sadistic, but id didn't mean for Jenny to kill herself.
I didn't mean it…
Tyler stared at me, the gun was still pressed to my neck. I stared back, just as defiant.
"You're right…" He said slowly, his gaze never leaving me. "I do have every right to kill you. I should kill you." He corrected himself.
My eyes never left his face. But my grip on his arms visibly tightened.
"How could you do it?" He whispered.
"Do…it?" My voice hoarse.
"I…I didn't kill her."
"Liar." He hissed, eyes narrowing.
"Tyler listen to me- "
"What's it like to kill to two people at once?"
"Huh?"I said in spite of myself. I was confused. What was Ty talking about? The only person who was killed was Jenny, unless…
"You killed my child!" Tyler screamed, jabbing the gun hard into my neck. I choked, tears rising to my eyes in pain as I fell. What? A child?
"Ty, I had no idea-"
"You ****ing murderer!" He swore. He called me other things as well. I just lay there crumpled looking up at him.
"Tyler, I'm so sorry." I whispered miserably.
"Enough. I'm doing it."
Blood gushed down my hand, Chloe's eyes shut instantly as a deafening bang was heard. Her lifeless body dropped to the ground and I shook like a leaf.
I never killed anyone in my life. Yet ironically the first person I kill was my ex-girlfriend. A girl I thought I loved and cherished. I used to think the sun rose and set on that girl. But now.
I stumbled backwards and retched, the smell of blood was sickening and a pool of blood was forming around Chloe. I retched again at the sight holding my stomach. My gray hoodie was splattered with blood, only made worse by my bloody hands.
Hands that would never be pure again.
And then, I turned and ran. Ran for my life.
I panted as stood in front of my desk, the gun I held was loose in my fingers. A neat letter was folded and it certainly wasn't there before this afternoon. I dropped the gun on the desk and it fell with a heavy thud.
I picked up the letter smearing crimson liquid on the white paper. I unfolded the letter and began to read.
My eyes soon narrowing in confusion.
Dearest Tyler and Chloe,
I'm writing this letter to you before I go and end my life.
I just want to tell you, Tyler and Chloe one thing before I'm gone from this world. I hated you together. You made me sick. I guess you could say I was jealous. It wasn't fair. You guys were so caring and loving, so into each other. And that thing with James and I? It was nothing. Nothing compared to both of you guys. And I resented that a lot. Chloe, you never understood why I broke up with James but now you know why. You both were so kind to me, sharing and loving me, but Tyler it wasn't the same. I didn't want to be loved as your girlfriend's best friend. I wanted you to love me. The way you loved Chloe. The way you held her hand, gazed into her eyes everyday.
I was so happy every time you talked to me, slung your arm around me but it wasn't the same. Remember that day in the Bar? When Chloe never came? That one night we had together meant so much to me. Nothing ever in my life would compare to that. I thought you loved me Tyler, you told me you did .When you asked me to be your girlfriend and I thought I had every thing that Chloe ever had. But no, you just couldn't let her go. I saw everyday you would trace her name with your pencil on to your skin. You thought I never noticed and always told me you were writing a note to yourself. But I knew.
Tyler I knew, you still loved Chloe. And I guess that hurt more than being loved as a best friend. I couldn't stand the fact you just couldn't let it go. That's why I had to turn you against Chloe. But even when you protected me and nursed my injuries I sported from every beating I received from Chloe, those tears you shed, they weren't for me. Never for me. Nothing Chloe did was enough for you to hate her.
Tyler, I'm sorry I lied about the baby. I never did have one. It was just something I thought might work. I thought you would stay with me if I said I had a baby. It worked but not really. Because I knew, if I didn't have a baby, you wouldn't have stayed with me otherwise.
I love you Tyler. Even though you never will return my feelings I'll still love you. Forever and ever.
Chloe, I'm sorry.
Lots of Love,
My hand shook. I couldn't hold the letter any longer, I dropped it and it floated to the floor. My breath constricted. Jenny used me. Used me to turn against Chloe.
I turned to the picture on my desk. The last picture I had of Chloe and me.
It was my favourite and I couldn't stand to throw it away. I ran a thumb over Chloe's smiling face. Blood stained the glass and I tried to rub it off.
She was gone. I killed her.
I killed Chloe.
I reached for my gun, picture frame still in my hand. I was scared. My hands shook.
Chloe, wait for me.
Here lies the body of
July 19th 1992 to October 14th 2009
Her that I love, I wish to be free- even from me.
(Anne Morrow Lindbergh)
Somewhere over the rainbow,
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of,
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dared to dream,
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star,
And wake up when the clouds are far,
Where troubles melt like lemon drop,
Away above the chimney tops,
That's where's you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow
Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly,
Beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh why can't I?
music by Harold Arlen and lyrics by E.Y. Harburg