I was 23 when I asked Vanessa Mote to be with me for the rest of my life. Probably the only best thing that has ever happened in my whole life.
I remeber the day before our wedding and I could just merely remeber Vanessa trying out her wedding dress in our bedroom, while I slipped my hands around her waist.
"Hello baby..Tomorrows the big day..excited? " She whispered to me.
" Mmhmm..Its the day when I can finally be with you. Forever. " I said smiling at her. She looked stunning under the moonlight.
" Aww you're so sweet! I can't wait to be with you either," Vanessa said, while I left a trail of kisses up her neck, " Now. You know its bad luck to see my dress before the wedding. "
" You believe in that crap. I know. "
" Ok. First of all it is not..crap. It's simply suspicions. And Secondly, you know I believe in it. "
I smirked and left her in the room.
Then our big day was up. I felt like everyman felt.
Not sure if they wanted to be with this girl. Nervous. Do I really want to sleep with the same woman everyday? Do I really want to wake up seeing the same face everyday?
I wanted to run away.
The music started and the doors open.
Bridesmaids and My bestmen, walking down the aisle. One by one.
The flowergirl comes.
I saw the crowd stand up and the music became softer.
I swear I saw an angel coming down that aisle.
Vanessa..Looked stunning. Beautiful. Breath taking. Her long black hair was curled and let freely out of the veil.
I stared at her in awe. As she came up to me she giggled, and the Priest started.
We didn't go to one of those..'honey-moons'. We had eachother. Whats the big deal about a holiday when we can have an adventure everyday..with eachother? What was the difference?
One day, I found this advertisement of log sawing on a wooden post. I grinned. My favourite sport, even though I wasn't very good at it.
" Hey, Van, Look a log competition. " I said, coming home throwing my coat on the hook.
"G-Great darling...Are you any good?" She said, laughing, almost..teasing me.
I snorted at her and glared.
" Of course I am. " I boasted.
I was mad. I was furious in fact. What did Vanessa think she was? The queen? She thinks she knows everything about me? She thinks I can't do this?
Suddenly, a wind of reality flew by me. She wasn't the..one.
I don't..love her anymore.
Vanessa wasn't my soulmate. She didn't like the things I loved; Most of all, she didn't respect me.
What was I thinking.
What am I thinking.
We've been married for 24years. Its not too late to end this.
Vanessa isn't the one.
A few months after my 49th birthday, Vanessa.
Vanessa died from a car accident.
When I recieved the news, I was devastated. Obviously.
I didn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. A couple of months ago, I 'thought' she wasn't the one for me.
I stared into space. I couldn't let this get to me. I starved myself and just sat. At the same chair for about a week or something, only surviving on water. I still couldn't believe it.
Weeks turned into months and I stayed home for the whole 3 months. I could feel Vanessa there. Everything I looked at reminded me of her. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I wouldn't allow myself not to think about her.
My neighbours began to worry about me, stopping at my house once in a while, mowing my lawn and doing my normal chores..with Vanessa.
I felt dead.
I went to the Vanessas closet and pulled out her wedding dress that she wore almost 25 years ago. I smelt it.
It was perfect.
I brought it to my bed and cried myself asleep.
I never hated her. Hating her was one of the hurdles in love. It was something that was supposed to happen. You ought to hate them once in a while.
Thats why we were so perfect.
Vanessa and I.
She respected me afterall. Vanessa knew that I couldn't win the log-saw'ing competition, while I was determined, but she still went for me. She still had faith. Vanessa was full of faith.
Of course we didn't like everything one another liked. There was such thing as 'opposites attract'.
I was wrong. Vanessa did know everything about me. Every; Single; Thing.
I looked over at our bedside picture of our wedding day. Her smiling face staring at the camera.
And tears rolled down my face as my hand touched the side of her face in the picture.
Vanessa is perfect. And always will be perfect.
I love her. I live for her. She is me. She will me in me. Forever.
It was our 40th anniversary; on the day I visited her grave.
"I love you Van." I whispered, placing a rose.
I arrived home while eating a milk biscuit; Vanessa and mine's favourite treat.
I crawled into sleep facing the photo of our wedding day. And slowly closing my eyes; Not knowing that was the last thing, I would ever see.