I Win

Nice to meet you. As the author of this essay, I will obviously know more about myself than I will know about you. As the reader, you are probably reading this to learn more about me and hopefully learn something about yourself that you may not have known.

But first let me tell you what I know that we have in common. The first thing we have in common is that we are both alive. If I were not alive, I would not be able to write this essay, and if you were not alive, you would not be reading this essay. The second thing we have in common is that we both know the language "English." Again, if we didn't know English, I would not be able to write this essay and you would not be able to read this essay. The last thing I know that we have in common is that, at one point, we both have had this essay sitting in front of us.

However, there is one thing I must assume that we have in common in order for you to understand what I am about to tell you. I am a human and you must be a human with basic human knowledge in order to understand this essay. You could be a Tralfamadorian for all I know. If you are not a human being, please stop reading this essay. If you are a human, please continue.

This is my essay. I wrote it. I created it. I am a creator. I am a god and this essay is my creation. I can create words or even characters as I please and make them do as I will. Or if I am displeased, I can completely annihilate half of my creation in a few seconds. As a god, I have complete control over my creation. I could have just as easily written this in a point by point style instead of the block style. To this essay, I am all-powerful and all-knowing; nothing in this essay goes by unchecked.

You, however, did not create this essay, so you are not a god. In fact, I also have some power over you. I can make you shocked. I can make you amused. I can even make you turn the page. As the reader of this essay, you are probably judging how well this essay was written. You are judging my creation and my ability as a god. Correct me if I am wrong, but I'm pretty sure that judging a god is a sin. That makes you a sinner.

Even though we have so much in common, we are in completely different leagues. I have the power to create or destroy. You have nothing. Even though we are both alive, human, and English literate, I am a god and you are nothing more than an insignificant speck in this world. Also, you are a sinner. Enjoy hell.