Said I Don't, But I Do

By: Charisma Arielle Hishaw

A Baki and Onyx poem

If there is something I wish to hear

More then anything in this unpredictable universe

Is for him to tell me I mean just that to him, the universe

For him to tell me that he loves me, and only me

But such words aren't meant to be heard by my ears

I can't risk everything that I have gained for my own selfish wants

I know he loves me

And I know he wants to say it

But I can't let him do that

I believe in the words "some things are better left unsaid"

I feel his spirit waiting to join mine as so many lovers ahead of us did

But I am holding back, not because I want to

Nothing has excited me more

But because he can do so much better then me

Me who was destined not to fall in love

It wasn't supposed to mean anything to me

The kisses,

The closure,

The one person that you want to live for…

Because I didn't want it

The love

It never showed me it's good side

It's my fault

I am hurting him and yet he hasn't gone anywhere

And as I look at him

I am falling more

More into those deep black eyes

Maybe he has a spell of his own

All I know is that I am not supposed to fall

I'm afraid of what it's going to cost him if he succumbs to his feelings for me

I don't want to lose him now that I have found him

Please, Baki…

Don't tell me how I am the one

But hold me in your mind, and caress my broken heart with yours

Find out everything you want to know about me with just a passing glance

Reveal nothing to no one about your dreams and what you'd say to me

If you could utter a word of love

I do that and more

Imagine having to hide what's inside, even from the very spirits that are all around us

How much longer dose he have to wait?

I am tired of lying

To me and my Baki

He deserves the truth

I owe him that much

I look at him lying beside me

I know there is no time then the present

Taking off the ring that was sealed on me since that night

Struggling, it hurts

But I know he hurts more

I finally get it off and I place it upon his ring finger

He is the one I choose

I don't want to hurt him any longer