I wonder what she saw in me that day.

As she said those words, and my eyes stung,

did I look like everyone else?

Was I crying because of the sad story?

Or did she see the deeper sorrow and pain because of her words?

No.

I think she didn't see it.

Most people see what they want to see.

Why would a teacher want to see a depressed student?

Moreover,

Why would they help?

It's been three months since the tragedy, and still,

here I am.

Most people counted the loss and moved on.

But I couldn't.

I wasn't there to see him pass.

I wasn't there to say hello in his final days.

I never said thank you for the advice,

thank you for the cleats,

thank you for the support,

thank you for the million of hours spent watching baseball,

thank you for telling me like it is,

or, thank you for loving me.

I never said any of this.

Time never permitted me too.

And that's my excuse.

I let you go.

Why do my eyes sting when I think about you?

Why does my throat tighten when I speak of you?

Why does my chest hurt when someone mentions you?

But that's it.

I will never forget.

I will never forget anything you have done for me.

I will never forget the people you affected.

I will never forget the many things you've said.

I will never forget you.

One day,

I will see you.