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Love's A Game Until You Turn Fourteen
Sarah Lylaky, Age 6
my teecher told me to make this dierey and rite in it evry yere. so i hav to get stard sumwere. i met a boy tooday. his name was mike. he give me a cooky tooday. it was yummy. he is nice. i asked him if he wanna be my boy frend and he sad yes. rite now i decided to make a list of wat a nice boy frend wood be.
1. he shares his cookys.
2. he gives me his crayons.
3. he says im perty.
4. hes perty.
5. he can rite like me!
if he does not have these things i wont like him. we sang my favrit song. its abowt a spiedur. sumtimes i can be a very smart gurl. i pikked my nose and rubbed it on anuther boys shurt. he skreamed and skreamed and told the teecher on me but i told her that cinthia did it. the teecher bileeved me at furst and asked cinthia and she sad no. i told the teecher that cinthia a poopoo hed and she yelled at me! i was sad.
today anuther boy pushd me. his name was jack. i dont like him. hes stupid but i cant say that aloud becus the teecher wont like me anymore. shes the won who tawt me how to rite! she also tawt me to spell my name. she says i can praktise with my dierey. she says evry won is speshul. exsept for jack. hes stupid.
lov sarah 6 years old
Sarah Lylaky, Age 7
I can spell better now and I capitoliase now. I was pritty bad before. My teacher says Im lurning good but I still have alot to lurn. Mike and I arent freinds anymore. I have a new boy freind and his name is Jimmy. Hes fun. I made a new list for boys.
1. He has to swing me.
2. He has to let me win races.
3. He cant pick his nose.
4. He cant eat what he finds in his nose.
5. He cant have cooties.
I still hate Jack. He spilt choklate milk on my head and sad it was an acsident but I new it wasnt so I kicked him. That aria is purpel now. My new teacher sad I was a bad gurl so she made me stand in the cornur. I hated it there. My teacher sad wen I grew up Id have a job. A good job! She sad every one will have a good job. Exsept for Jack. He will pick up garbaj off streets.
My teacher asked me wat I wanted to be wen I grew up and I said a pet petter. She laffed and sad there is no such thing. I think shes rong but I cant tell her that or shell make me stand in the cornur agan.
Love Sarah 7 years old
Sarah Lylaky, Age 8
I'm getting even better! I'm smart! I can add, take away, and multiplie! I have better spelling too. Punkshuashun too, but not perfect. Not yet. My new boy friend is John becaus Jimmy was rude to me. He called me dumb! And yes, that B is quiet. Cool, huh? Here's the newest list.
1. He still can't have cooties!
2. If he picks his nose, he can't rub the boogy on my shirt.
3. He can't call me dumb.
4. He won't steal my cookies!
5. He can't suck his thumb. (Yes, Jimmy did that! Baby.)
Jack gave me an oreo, but when I bit it, it was tooth paist. Tooth glue, ewwwwww! But the teacher made him stand in the corner so that was good. I was happy! She said good kids get nice things, but Jack's not a good kid. He gets nothing.
I've made a plan to hide a banana peel in the boy's bathroom on April Fool's Day so he'd trip and fall.
Love, Sarah 8 years old
Sarah Lylaky, Age 9
Remember that trick I told you last year? Well, I tried it... but not only did I get caught by John himself, I made a teacher fall. John broke up with me. He said I made him feel like poo when he saw me so he rudely broke up with me. I'm very mad now. But to make him jellous, I'm dating Kyle. I think I'm starting to feel love for him. My mom told me that love is when you like a person a lot! I like Kyle a lot. Here's the list for what a guy has to be that I made yesterday.
1. He can't say poop because it's not a nice thing to say.
2. He can't break up with me.
3. He can't say I smell like fish. (Because I don't!)
4. He has to be handsum.
5. He has to love me back.
I very, very, very, very, very, very hate Jack. He called me a pile of poop today. Who calls girls piles of poop? You know what? He's a pile of poop. My new teacher is a boy this year. He's nice to me, he doesn't call me poop, he doesn't say I smell like fish, and he's kinda handsum. I think he loves me! He said we have to respekt each other if we want respekt. But I won't respekt Jack. Cause he's a pile of poop. And you can't respekt poop.
P.S. I got a detention for the banana peel.
Love, Sarah 9-years-old
Sarah Lylaky, Age 10
Yay, I'm still dating Kyle! Last week he gave me a ring! But he said he found it in the cereal box, but I don't care. I love him. I just won't wear it. I'm graduating elementary school! I'm so proud of myself. My mom's proud, too, and so is my dad. I'm getting taller. I'm three inches away from five feet. Kyle says he likes tall girls. Here's my most recent list for what I want in a guy.
1. He gets me nice things.
2. He has to kiss me on the cheek.
3. He has to put me first of everything.
4. He has to remember our anniverserry.
5. He has to remember my birthday.
Jack fell out of a tree and broke his leg. I was laughing really hard, but he was crying. I was sent to the principal. She screamed at me and told me that I couldn't laugh at anyone's pain. I told her that I was laughing with him, not at him, and she called my mom for 'talking back.' I lost my temper and called her fat. She gave me another detention. I should be able to laugh at Jack because he's a pile of poop.
I also had to write an apology letter! This was what I wrote.
Dear Jack, The pile of poop,
I guess I'm sorry I laughed when you fell out of that tree. It's just your tears released my inner joy. You deserve it, so I don't think I should be writing this. Blah, blah, blah... Put some important words here...
Your worst nightmare, Sarah
I thought I expressed boatloads of creativity in that letter, but the teacher didn't think so. So what did that mean? Another detention...
Truly Sarah 10-years-old
Sarah Lylaky, Age 11
Junior High is so awesome! I love it! But Kyle moved to a different school so now I'm dating Brett. I miss Kyle, though. Another good thing about Junior High is you get to say crap! Crap, I have to give you the next list!
1. He has to be cute!
2. He has to be tall.
3. He has to be funny.
4. He can't be gross.
5. He has to know how to dance. (I'm taking ballet!)
I tripped Jack with my foot and didn't get caught! I love Junior High! I told him that he's not a pile of poop anymore! He's a pile of crap! Nobody heard me or gave me a detention! And I stuffed a sock filled with chocolate pudding into the gap of his locker. Can't wait to find out what he does!
Truly Yours, Sarah
Sarah Lylaky, Age 12
I've decided to take a break from guys. They're so immature. Brett made farting sounds with his armpits the other day and thought it was hilarious! Ugh, why do girls mature faster than boys? Well, here's what I now want in a guy.
1. He has to be mature.
2. He has to be someone I can talk to.
3. He has to be hot!
4. He has to be popular.
5. He has to have feelings for me if he wants to go out. (This doesn't include love anymore.)
Jack's ignoring me, and I'm ignoring Jack. Something's wrong with that boy. He's suddenly quieter, more mysterious. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It might have been from when he squeezed the sock and the pudding dripped on to his hand. He thought it was something else (if you know what I mean) and dropped it. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.
Yet, now, it doesn't bother him at all. Hmmm...
A Confused 12-year-old Sarah
Sarah Lylaky, Age 13
Well, last year of Junior High. High school's next year. I'm very thrilled and excited, but terrifyingly nervous. I just hope I won't get lost too many times. Still no boyfriend yet. Newest list up and ready to be read.
1. He has to be sensitive.
2. He has to have inner beauty.
3. He has to be kind.
4. He still has to be mature.
5. He can't steal my chocolate! (I'm having chocolate cravings for some reason...)
I found a Valentine's card in my locker on Valentine's day. I have an admirer, just need to figure out who it is. Jack moved to a different junior high not far away, but he'll go to that same high school as me, but yay for now! I think... Should I be worried?
A Loved 13-year-old Sarah
Sarah Lylaky, Age 14
High school's pretty cool, but I've been cranky more lately. I got my 'time of the month' over the summer, so it's kind of weird. Jack's back, and he's changed! He's taller, more mature... and hotter. He treats me much better than he used for some reason. New guy list alert!
1. He has to treat me right.
2. He has to be someone I can talk to.
3. He has to be kind.
4. He has to be the kind of guy that could cheer me up.
5. He can't cheat on me.
I found a rose in my locker. I didn't know how it got there, but it was a beautiful red rose. I thought it was the nicest thing I've ever gotten, forgetting that stupid ring from the cereal box... or that super shiny penny I found on the street when I was five.
An Admired Sarah
Sarah Lylaky, Age 15
Someone stuck a container filled with mashed potatoes into my locker. They weren't fully cooked, and even in the container, they wreaked. Other than that, sophomore year is a drag. I'm bored already. Chemistry to me is like nap time from first grade. Geometry is okay, at the least, but everyday, I find a rose in my locker. One day, Jack came up to me, kissed me on the lips, said the roses were from him, and walked away! I was stunned, to say the least. Here's... the new list.
I'm still wondering about the kiss. Maybe next year, things will be more clear. Hopefully.
Sarah Lylaky, Age 16
This diary is ten years in the process. I kept re-reading my first few entries, and each time, I'm tempted to fix the mistakes, but I choose not to. It's a precious memory locked in my heart. There will be no list, and there will be no more entries. I love this diary to pieces, and I will keep it, but I will not continue.
I'm with Jack now. He's really the closest I have ever gone to love. Funny how your worst enemies not only become your best friends, but your dearest boyfriend. I guess these entries have been enough. I've gone from crayons and apparently 'cookys' to dating the stupid guy who spilled chocolate milk on me and called me a pile of poop. Ironic, huh?
I've met other friends in this journey, it's just that I never mentioned them. I met Angela when I was seven, and ever since then, we've been best friends. I once dared her to shove a crayon up her nose, and she did it, but we couldn't get it out. We had to take her to the emergency room. I also met Jessica when I was eleven, and we were really good friends. The rest I don't have time to mention.
Well, I can't write anymore. I'm preparing for college, since I'm a junior now. Well, looking for one, anyway. Maybe I'll be in the same college with Jack, who knows? Or maybe he'll just pick 'garbaj' off the streets. Hopefully not.
Forever and Always,
I hope you guys liked it! It was meant to be funny and sweet! Please review and fav it!