May 14, 2000
Listen well, cause I'm only going to say it once…I just don't want to talk about it…or I just can't. Haha! I can't believe I'm already crying! It all seems such a dream now… how long has it been 2… 3 maybe 4 years since then. I bet your laughing at me now… Anyways let me write this before its too late I just wanted to tell someone before I –it doesn't matter.
A wonderful year, that's what I had been promised. With no one but me in this world I had decided to get schooled in a land far from mine, my land that held nothing- no special memories, no loving pictures. As soon as I arrived to port, though, I knew it was going to be wonderful. Far from all the busy cities and car-filled streets and garbage-filled alleys –this town in the middle of here was my little Utopia. How long was I there before I met him, ten minutes? Fifteen at most! He was there in the shadows watching; always looking no one even acknowledged he was there but I did… From the moment I stepped off dock I felt his gaze. I just wanted to run back inside the ship and beg them to take me back to that awful city but I staid… in a way I was curious.
I spoke to him once and I was already in love, I knew it! It wasn't his looks, though he was very handsome, and it wasn't his riches… it was the way he looked at me as if no one else existed, maybe it was my fascination in him that made me imagine it, I'll never know…I… didn't get the chance. He helped me…always! He looked out for me, he made sure I ate cause I forgot sometimes over school, he waited outside my school in his car on a rainy day just so I wouldn't get wet, my small house was just half block away. He was perfect in every way! Each day I fell deeper, further, faster…
I didn't know it was a secret, that he and I were meeting, so I spoke I had told everyone how wonderful he was but the moment I said his name all panicked. They said he was dangerous, that he was a creature beyond this world, I'll never know what they meant. They said I shouldn't worry over getting hurt, that they'd deal with him, that's when I realized my big mistake.
I tried to make up for it and there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't spend time with him, problem was –my time…was coming to an end. That's when he truly shared with me who he really was. He took me all around the town; I saw many sunsets and the bright lights of the town just at twilight and I saw over the hills and beyond the clouds.
He didn't know I had to leave and the night I told him was the first time saw him cry. I remember, hahaha, it had been so cliché –a rainy night just when we were saying goodbye. That night he told me three words that made me want to get on that ship and jump from it. Guess what he told me! It wasn't I love you, like I had told him, he clearly stated through tears "I hate you". That was the last time I saw him, for he left immediately and I left town the next morning.
I graduated three years later, strangely I never forgot him and all I wanted to do now was get on a ship get back to that town so I could clear everything up and tell him that I didn't care who or what he was or where he came from that I just wanted to be with him, Guess what? I did just that, but I had to wait till winter for all the ships were already bucked,
I ran to were I remember his house being, I knocked on the doors and tried to keep warm. The town looked void of life in snow but I knew a deep down it was still the town I had grown to call home. A girl answered the door and she gasped when she saw me, the girl was his guardian you could say, even though the girl was younger than him –even me. Tears spilled from her eyes and I thought they would freeze in place and with sorrow in her face she told me that I was too late. He had left two days before I arrived. No, he didn't die. No, he didn't leave in vacation nor did he move to another town. She took a small envelop and gave it to me, she told me he knew I was coming and left that to me.
Forgive me for parting with those awful words I spoke that night. I hated you because you left me and I had broken the number one rule, don't fall in love. I'm sorry I couldn't see you again but I know your doing well. I'm happy you were valedictorian in your graduation. I leave with no regrets I'll search for you on the next generation so I can finally tell you face to face that I love you. Wait for me like the shore always waits for the wave.
Needless to say, I left back to the city, a land that held nothing but at least it was better than land holding so much more.
Now I sit watching rain fall writing this so at least someone may know the truth about who I am, because without him I would've never found out. I'll always be waiting my angel.