"What is this?! What is this?!" Mother waved the bag of beef jerky around in the air accusingly.

"It's not my fault!!!" I wailed miserably. "THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!"

"The devil made you buy beef jerky?" She asked incredulously.

I nodded. "He wants me to convert to meatitarianism! At first he wanted me o discard my omnivorous ways, but I was like 'NOOOOOO! I LOVE FRUIT TOO MUCH!' and then he was like 'you pathetic excuse for a follower. Fine! At least buy some of that delicious Alberta beef jerky.' And then I was like 'BUT I SHOULDN'T!' and then he was like 'BUT YOU WANT IT' and then I was like 'BUT I SHOULDN'T!' and then he was like 'BUY IT!' and I was like 'FINE! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Mother blinked, and then there was silence.

And that's is the end....... If you imagine dramatic english accents, it should be better. Inspired by what my mother would say if she found my beef jerky. ^^