As the skies begin to darken and the stars come out to play,
As the sun begins to disappear and night subsides from day
When the memories begin to pour out from my pensive thought,
As the feelings that are mixed within become shameful and distraught.
All I ever wanted was just a day to feel,
And all I ever needed was to know that it was real.
But emotion is emotion, deceiving at it's best;
It left me with these demons and took away the rest.
I hate the person who I am, I hate what I've become,
Consuming all the happiness and forgetting where it's from.
But the never-ending supply is out and it's left me feeling weary,
Like a thousand heavy weights to hold, a true burden to carry.
I feel like the fire in the rain, fighting to survive,
And while each drop hits me harder, I need to stay alive
Sizzling and screaming, using all I am
Just to finally make it through so I can make a stand.
I'm tired of being sick, I'm sick of being tired,
I'm done with this "believing" when you've always been a liar.
I'm tired with the screaming when I know you'll never hear,
I'm done with the deceiving just to cover up the fear.
I'll finally admit it, I'll tell you that I'm scared,
I've never been so nervous, so alone and unprepared,
I guess that life's unfolding, and with it I must grow-
With every step I take, the less I seem to know.
I'm not ready for this burden, not sure about this weight,
But I guess I'll take it anyway, considering it's fate.
I've changed so much, I'm not the same, I'm not that little girl
Who'd sit and cry and wait for the destruction of the world.
I'm not going to give in, no matter what they say,
No matter who I used to be just the other day.
I'll raise my head and survive- I'm not that child anymore;
What would this be like if I was the girl I was before?
I'll walk right through the puddles, I'll make it through the rain,
I can take this hardship, I can take this pain.
I'll throw away all doubt and devour all regret,
I'll make it through the storm- I won't burn out just yet.
Okay... so this is a lot longer than intended. I'm sorry... I guess I just got carried away. If you end up actually reading it, can you please review? I'd love constructive criticism, or anything of the sort, because this is my first poem up and all... I just want to know my strengths and weaknesses, so I can know what I should work on. Thanks :)
And I know the title isn't all that great, but... Well, I couldn't think of anything, and it seemed fitting enough... So if anyone comes up with a better one, just put it in the review and I'll change the name to the one I like best. Thanks again!