"Why are you struggling? You know you want this."
I struggled even more, who the hell did this guy think he is?
"I know what I want and I want you to get your filthy grimy disgusting hands off of me!"
He let go and I hit the floor.
He grabbed my chin and yanked my head up so I would be looking at him more attentively.
"Respect your elders. Respect your leaders. Or else suffer the consequences, and I assure you, they are worse than death."
I clamped my lips together into a thin line, he got my silent surrender.
"Good. Where's Gerard?" He asked coldly now.
up there." I pointed back to the stairs. I guess his pervert fit
was over. I have gotten a lot of advances from boys from my school
before I "died", but this is freaking ridiculous! Can't I just
go one day where I feel like I know what's going on and I don't
feel violated or threatened?
Sebastian turned to me and smirked. Oh God, what now?
you know who, or what, your precious Gerard is? You seem
pretty…attracted to him. Which is normal, but you guys don't seem
to…you know…be embracing your union."
I figured that because Gerard hasn't complained to Sebastian about my being a mistake, I decided it wasn't smart for me to let him in on our situation.
"Well, things are a little complicated. You know…" I figured he would fill in the blank with something other vampire couples go through or catch my drift.
His eyes went wide, and he whispered "Oh."
Perfect, he caught my drift, I stifled a giggle. Poor Gerard, vampire or not, he is a guy. This would certainly hurt his pride.
"So what is Gerard?" I asked cautiously, perhaps this information would be useful? Or maybe, it would make me even more afraid of him.
"He hasn't told you?"
"Told me it was none of my business."
"Then it's not any of your business." Sebastian smirked again and headed for the kitchen, for what I don't know...Blood Soda?
Before he slipped beyond the doorway he stopped.
"However, there is no objection or rule preventing you from finding out yourself." he disappeared.
Finding out for myself? How do I do that?
I walked to the beat up couch and slouched into it, it squeaked under my weight. I don't consider myself fat, so I wonder where all the extra pounds came from. I started to nibble on my nails in thought.
What could I do? He doesn't sleep, but he meditates, or reflects, or whatever. Does he meditate deep enough to where I could get a peek at his back?
Sebastian wouldn't tell me, he's finished with me I guess. This is fine, really; just fine with me. He came back from the kitchen with a beer glass of blood. Surprisingly it didn't make me sick.
He plopped down on the couch next to me, making me rise up since he was so much heavier than me.
"What do you want…?" I droned, annoyed.
"Hm?" He looked at me while swirling the contents of his glass.
"Why are you sitting here?"
"It's a free country, isn't that what humans say?" He took a drink.
"I'm trying to think of a way to see Gerard's back." I confided.
"Really? Why don't you just get him in bed? Doesn't he take his clothes off for that?"
I wanted to say, 'Unlike you sick pricks I'm not thinking about bedding every walking thing I see.' Or say, 'Gerard doesn't want me.'
Except I said in the most pleasant voice I could muster, "That's too easy."
Sebastian laughed and almost choked. I was really hurting Gerard's pride now; I can't wait until he finds out.
"Well," He pounded his chest to cough up the remaining blood lodged in his wind pipes, "You could wait until he shuts down his brain temporarily, and we need to do that sometimes, to stave off the insanity and makes time pass by. You would know it as going into a comma, or passing out."
"Can I ask you a question?" I was getting surprised how easy it was becoming to talk to Sebastian when he's calm.
"Why do I need to learn self-defense?"
He looked sideways at me, what his expression meant I had no clue.
"Well, newborns are very precious; they hold our future in their hands. They are like children in a way, although usually they are meant to be your partner. If corrupted they could hurt our existence. Also, we are always looking for the next—"He stopped, he looked like he was about to reveal something, like a name. He continued "Great leader or more great warriors, there is a revolution building of "bad" vampires. We need all the help we can get."
"Bad vampires? That's ironic."
"Humans don't know we exist for sure yet, right? Bad vampires would try to enslave people and force scientists to find a way to stave off the mental decomposing instead of just accepting it as our curse. Then, after we're completely flawless they will try to rule everything and thus corrupting the balance of nature and eventually we would drive ourselves and so the whole planet to extinction. Imagine if every living thing was vampiric. There would be nothing to feast on since vampiric blood is poisonous. And there are talks about them opening a gate into Hell or whatever, you know, typical world domination nonsense."
"That's lovely. So how would I be able to tell who these "bad" vampires are?"
"It is very hard to tell, but a non-fallen will usually not fight you, so if the vampire threatens you and tries to kill you it is safe to say he is a Fallen." He answered sarcastically.
I remembered Gerard freaking out about the Seraphim. I suppose that would be some good information too.
"What do the Seraphim do to newborn? Gerard seemed worried about them. Or are they the reason for the spike in missing teens?" I vaguely remembered that the reason curfew for teens in New York was taken down to seven at night. It was over gang activity.
Sebastian laughed, it was deep and eerie, yet beautiful because he is a vampire and they are just like that with everything they do.
"Of course he is. If the Seraphim saw you walking around unattended by some small chance, they would take you to the Black Heavens and judge you and Gerard. If proven guilty of neglect you would be rebound to someone else and he may be…tortured. Don't ask about the details, this hardly ever happens because every vampire is afraid to find out what it is." Something told me in my gut that he was lying…but I had no choice but to take his word.
"The Seraphim are the good guys; the spike in missing teens is caused by the Fallen. Not all humans are meant to or can handle being a vampire, that's why it is illegal to turn a human without meaning to. A lot of things can go wrong. The Fallen are rebellious vampires that do not follow any rule."
Well damn, good thing I kept my mouth shut.
Sebastian leaned his head back to consume the remaining blood in the glass, brought his head back down and licked his lips.
"Delicious…you want some?"
"Um," I tried to think of an excuse, but then I started to feel hungry again.
He looked at me devilishly. Oh no, what is he up to?
"You know, I could easily get you to kiss me."
"Why would you want me to kiss you and how would you do that?!" He was beginning to seem cool and he has to do this pervert thing again!
"Well Emily, you are a very beautiful girl, even for a vampire and that's a good compliment as you know."
"Aren't I Gerard's?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Oh really and why is that?"
"It's obvious he doesn't like you."
I gaped at him, those words really hurt me. I don't know why I would be so offended, it's not like I'm in love with psychotic Gerard, right? Even if he is all I have, even if he is the most gorgeous dark-haired looking guy I've ever seen, even if he can be so caring when he wants to be, even if he is mysterious, not even if every time he looks at me with those bright blue eyes I know my heart would skip a beat or when he touches me…
No, I am definitely not in love with him.
"I don't want you."
He smiled warmly, but in his eyes I saw the beginnings of self contempt. He doesn't like what he is doing?
"It doesn't matter to me." He said, lowly.
I stood up.
"You know, you were really starting to seem cool but now all you are is a sick sadistic monster that for some reason will not leave me alone! Get a life! I don't like you!"
He stood up so fast I hardly realized until he was holding on to my shoulders to the point that it hurt.
"Emily—"He started to scold but I wouldn't let him, I wasn't finished.
"No! Let go! I don't want you!"
"Look, I'm sorry, but Gerard doesn't love you. He hasn't loved anyone in a long time…"
"What do you mean?" I tried hard to sound calm but I was sure he heard my being on the brink of tears. I knew he didn't love me...but it hurt so much worse to hear someone else say it. Then I'm brought back to the whole why do I care argument…
"What I mean is that things are complicated for Gerard, don't ask me to explain. I don't know why he bit you."
I was starting to forget I was mistake. What a silly little girl I've been.
"And Emily, you don't love him either. You are young; you are still a seventeen year old girl at heart. Gerard should have been dead years and years ago. You two are thinking on two different wavelengths. You have a confused puppy love attraction because he is like the men in humans' magazines and the only male figure in your life before today. It is natural for you to be fond of him. You need to remember this so you can get over it, okay?"
I nodded. It did make sense. And also to make him shut up.
"Why are you so…promiscuous?"
"I still want you to leave me alone with that, please. Act civil to me. I really want you to be a friend. I don't want to keep being paranoid of you forcing yourself on me." I gave him the sweetest little girl look I could muster.
He bit his lip then rolled his eyes. He let out an exasperated noise.
"Okay. You are such a prude though, no fun at all. Fine, I'll leave you 'alone'." He smiled as he said it. I think he finally understood.
We were silent for a few moments before he piped up again.
"Can I least tell you how I was going to get you to kiss me? I thought it was genius really." He said, excited.
"Fine." I suppose it would be good to know I wouldn't have to be tricked by it later.
"I still have blood in the kitchen, I was going to drink another glass slowly so you'd get more hungry, then I was going to make sure I get some left over on my lips, you would get out of control with hunger and lick it off. And then we would kiss violently. It would have been fun…"
"That's…really sick Sebastian." I grimaced.
"I know." He smiled a crooked smile like Gerard would have done.
I started to get hungrier…
"Can I have some blood?"
He started to smile.
"From the kitchen! In a glass!" I added hastily.
His smile faltered; only slightly.
"Sure it's in the fridge."
It was going to make me sick pouring it and drinking it, but it's better than another massacre.
"What's going on in here?" It was Gerard who suddenly standing close behind me holding the fridge open just above my hand.
"I'm getting blood." I admit I sounded pathetic in my gloominess. It was hard knowing he could care less if I disappeared.
"Nothing, I'm stuck in a house with two insane sex-driven vampires, and I have to dig around in the fridge for blood because if I don't I will kill more people. I can never see my mother or friends again and life as I know is hell. Nothing is wrong."
I found the bottle of blood hidden among the long forgotten leftovers of whoever inhabited this house before us.
It smelled horrible of course.
I stood up and bumped my back into Gerard's front. He didn't move from behind me and he wouldn't let me close the door.
"What has Sebastian told you?" It was obvious he was suspicious.
"He told me things I needed to know."
"That's none of your business." I stuck up my nose for emphasis.
"Really? I think it is."
"And why is that Gerard?"
I made sure I said his name in dripping venom.
"I own you." He whispered into my ear, it sent chills up my spine. Damn it, why does he do that?
"I don't care."
I shoved past him, he let me go surprisingly.
I grabbed a glass and went down to the basement and poured it before I sat on the mattress. Sebastian merely told me good night.
I wish I could have one.
I finished my second glass of blood, which I miraculously was getting used to, deep in the basement when I heard Gerard yell at Sebastian.
"What the hell did you tell her!?"
"What do you mean?" I heard Sebastian calmly reply.
"She is angry with me for a different reason. I sensed it in her mind; it has something to do with what you said! I can't pin it exactly right now!"
"Your mind reading skills have really dulled, the Gerard I knew would be able to know word from word what she was thinking, not just getting the gist of it."
"This isn't about me leaving the Choirs, leave that out of this. Please tell me what the hell you said!"
It almost sounded like Gerard was desperate. I was really glad I had this super hearing now.
"I just told her who the Fallen were and why you were afraid of the Seraphim getting her. Also I explained to her that—"
Sebastian paused; I could only imagine that he is wearing a cocky smile.
"You don't love her."
"Why did you do that?" Gerard sounded surprised.
"It's true. I could tell, besides after—"
"Don't talk about her."
Sebastian said her name in such a way I knew he was saying it because I was listening. I guess he was my friend.
I heard something of a hard slap.
"Are you trying to torture me?!"
"You are the one torturing us. Tell me, Gerard. When are you going to grace us with your presence again? When are you going to bring us a better Lyla?"
I heard Gerard hiss, like a cat almost.
"Get out of my house!" I heard him scream.
"You have no authority over me Gerard. Not anymore. Life's a bitch isn't it?"
I heard Gerard breathe in and out, I could tell he was resisting striking Sebastian down.
"I order you to 'sleep' and I will check on you in one hour and you better be out cold, got it? I can tell you need some good mental rest."
After a minute or so, I heard the door slam shut.
"EMILY!" He screamed in my direction, it hurt my ears.
I heard his footsteps coming, he leaped over a few steps to shorten the distance, like he wasn't fast enough anyway, and I had barely enough time to scream myself.
He kicked the poor defenseless door down and leaped for me like a lion. I did not have enough time to blink an eye before he was on top of me. Snarling like a ferocious animal.
"What?" I squeaked, I tried to sound brave, I really did.
"I need you to do me a favor."
"What's that?" I was very shocked, in two seconds he went from a rage-driven animal to looking down on me calmly, like we were having a pleasant conversation minus the fact of him pinning me down.
I really tried to not notice the fact that his body was hovering over mine. Not touching, but close…
"I'm going to shut down my brain temporarily; it will be like a self-induced coma. Sebastian will be here in an hour to make sure I am out cold. Please do me a favor and wake me up after he leaves. It is imperative that you do not touch me before he comes because it might disrupt my focus. After he leaves you need to vigorously shake me, or yell. Pretend you found a friend dying or something and you're acting in an overly dramatic Hollywood scene; just make sure I wake up."
I nodded. I noticed that when Gerard is taking things seriously he seems to speak more intelligently. He seems older.
Gerard got up and left without saying anything further.
I just laid there for about forty minutes according to the old clock on the wall across from me. Suddenly the door clicked open slowly to reveal a deviously smiling Sebastian.
I was just about to sit up to better defend myself but he raised a hand to show me he meant no harm.
"You want to find out his rank, now is your chance. I did this for you."
I smiled. He was really my friend.
"So what do I do?"
"Wait ten more minutes, then slowly and gently get it to where you can get his shirt up to the shoulder blades to see his tattoo."
"Why can't you just tell me?"
"That's no fun."
I rolled my eyes.
"Um, okay, thanks a lot Sebastian."
"No problem kid."
I waited ten slow minutes.
Finally I got up and quietly crept up to the living room and then up the stairs to the second floor.
I avoided as many squeaky boards as I could, of course I missed some but it didn't rouse the coma-suffering vampire.
I got to his room and found the door ajar. Just as luck would have it Gerard was laying on his stomach. I walked in and knelt next to him.
I used my newly acquired vampire strength to get him in a sitting position leaning on me. His head was resting on the nook of my neck. I grabbed the edges of his trench coat and pulled them to wear his shoulders were showing. I used one hand to push him a ways off of me so I could slip the rest of it off of his arms.
He was wearing a short sleeved black shirt, it was tight, and I could see his defined muscles. He was like a beautiful athlete; he was not too thin and not as broad or thick as Sebastian. I leaned him to where he was leaning away from me; luckily his body was a little tense so he didn't flop over. I found the bottom of his shirt and gripped it.
I would be seeing his back naked. I resisted smiling like a giddy school girl who just landed the football captain.
I pulled it up slowly. He was so pale and flawless. There wasn't a scar anywhere.
I almost gasped.
I raised it until I was just about at the middle of his back and there were long and short scars everywhere.
So much for being flawless.
It was as if someone had a knife and carved into his back.
I raised it all way and then I saw them.
He had six elegant, black wings.