"Little Brown Gal and Her Little Brown Lolo"

May 30, 2009

A calamansi tree blooming with life,

Led straight to

Our little grass shack in Aeia, Hawai'i:

Home to an endless supply

Of Pop tarts and Fritos and Aloha Sun.

Home to your endless supply

Of guidance and care and love.

You let me eat the sugary part

Of the Pop tart,

Removing the crust for your "Banana Brat"-

Feeding the remnants to the eager pigeons,

Who already had a taste of your generosity

And flocked back for more.

You let me take a whole bag

Of Fritos,

All for myself;

Even thought we all knew I couldn't finish it on my own,

You encouraged my "big eyes."

Which otherwise

Would have been interpreted to be greediness,

You realized was ambition-

Those "big eyes" saw big dreams-

Dreams you wouldn't be able to watch become realities.

You let me drink every flavor

Of Aloha Sun

That my hula honey heart desired.

Bottomless drinks led to bottomless opportunities,

Which fueled the drive of my "Lilikoi Passion."

Black Funeral.

White Anthorium.

Returning home-

But home is nowhere to be found.

The life of our once blooming calamansi tree

Seems to have died along with you.

A foreign structure invaded my vision.

And our wonderfully shabby, shambolic shack was shattered.

I was shattered.

Gray Airplane.

I am scared.

I am scared of

Forgetting Pop Tart generosity,

And "Big Eyes" ambition,

And "Lilikoi Passion."

Most of all, I'm scared of forgetting you.

It seems like everything was taken that day:

My morals,

My dreams,

My home,

My grandfather,

My will (for I had no say, and I thought this was supposed to be

My life).

Teach me not to forget.

Give me back the life I lost when I lost you,

Because Little Brown Gal doesn't want to grow up without her Little Brown Lolo.