The car continues to run as I still sit in his driveway. Something in my brain tells me that I can no longer call this house or this driveway ours anymore. It is only Michael's.
I thought of every reason why I should go back to Michael and why I shouldn't. I am a strong woman and I can live on my own but I know that if I did, it would be… self-destructive. As a teenager, I have been through phrase of severe depression from abusive parents to being bullied in school. Many people in college or in the workplace wouldn't even think me to being the kid that got bullied. They say I am the strongest person they have ever known.
I laugh on the inside every time someone says that. Even though I hear it a lot, I know the truth, I am weak and pathetic. Sure I have thick will-power, diverse intelligence, and an aura about me that just says "Stay away." But really, I have will power from my determination that I will survive but not live, I have diverse intelligence because it was the only thing that made my parents smile once all year and then hit me again for having an A-, and finally, I try to seem mean or dangerous so I don't get hurt.
None of these cowardly qualities came in handy with what I am trying to decide as I sit in Michael's driveway.
Then I see Michael's door opening and I see him walking out to the car.
I needed to flee.
Michael saw me put the car in gear, heard the antique clutch adjust, and sprinted to the car, blocking me in.
I wanted to be a "baby doctor" as I once called it when I was little. I wanted to the doctor to deliver and nurture the babies. Then once I figured that my job would require me to do abortions or give patients the okay to do them, I didn't. In high school my friends said that it wouldn't be my fault. I even went as far as saying that I didn't want to be the doctor that has to tell a raped woman or a one-time teenager that they have a problem. Basically, I don't want any blood on my hands. I have contemplated running a few people over in life and I won't deny that, but I would never think twice about it.
That's what popped in my head when Michael was standing in my path to freedom.
I contemplated it.
But I knew and he knew that I won't do it even if someone threatened my life to do it. I will not spill blood on these hands. I would die before that. My best friend in high school put it the best: "You are suicidal. Not homicidal."
As you can tell, my mind was all over the place as Michael walked around to my door and opened it.
"Please, Rachel. Talk to me."
God, I was tired of being sad and tired of seeing sad.
"What do you want to talk about?" I was going to go through the shutdown phase. Everyone has done it so don't deny it or act like you don't know what it is. It's where you are completely apathetic to your surroundings and you go on autopilot.
"Please Rachel I love you. I have been waiting on you. Just please stay," his eyes started to glitter with tears and I get awkward when people cry. I was never allowed to cry in my house growing up. I had two broken collar bones at age three and I didn't cry. I remember it because my mother didn't take me to the doctor for two weeks and I had to wear something across my chest but it was not collar bones, but for your back. My mother was not intelligent.
"Rachel, please stay. Whatever it takes, even if it takes me making you fall in love with me again, I'll do it. Just don't leave. I love you."
I couldn't say no.
But I didn't want to say yes.
I unbuckled my seat belt and got and stood in front of Michael.
*** Three Weeks Later***
Well, things didn't heat up, things didn't cool down. He gave me my space which I was glad because I couldn't get over Joe just yet. I called him only once, two weeks ago but he hasn't talked to me yet.
I was beginning to get really depressed and I just remembered that my mother's birthday is coming up. As much I hated her for what she has caused me, I try to do right by her I guess. Try but sometimes don't succeed.
I decided to call her and tell her happy birthday and that I can't go down to that pathetic racist town in Alabama.
"Hello?" She always sounded like an angel when she picks up the phone. She could beat you half to death and pick up the phone ten seconds later like as if she didn't have a care in the world. I always hated that about her. She cared too much about images to me.
"Hey! I haven't heard from you in a while, what's going on?" I will admit, since I have moved out, I have only gotten to see the nicer side of her so I can't complain much.
"Just some crazy crap, you know… I called to wish you happy birthday, mother. Umm, I was hoping to come down to see you but I am afraid I can't this particular moment in time."
"Something going on?" Her voice sounded genuinely concerned.
"Some things have been happening…" I let myself trail off. She will start yelling in a minute. I never liked her questions because I stopped lying to her years before puberty.
"Well, whose fault is that?! I told you that marrying him was a bad idea and that he would ruin your life!"
What the crap? First thing she blames is Michael? She has never liked Michael. The one guy that doesn't want just one thing from me is the one guy that my mother hates. I cracked.
"I want you to get one thing straight for once in your life!! I have never been happier than when I am with Michael! All the other bastards treated me like shit! Like those 'great guys' you called them at church? They would try to rape me after school every fucking day! Michael loves me and I have never deserved him! I ran away many times thinking it would be better but it was only worse! I don't deserve him and yet he loves me like fire loves oxygen! So just go back to your life and stay out of mine!"
I slammed the phone down and the thought just hit me.
I have never been happier with any other guy than when I am with Michael.
He is the best I have ever had. He hasn't left me once. I have been the one leaving and cheating.
"Oh my God, I am so fucking stupid!" I ran out of the spare room and called for Michael.
"What?!" He came running looking for a fire or something.
The only fire present was the one in my heart.
"Rachel! Rachel! Are you okay? What happened?" His hands grabbed my upper arms and looked me up and down concerned.
No words left my mouth. There was so much going through my mind at that time. I wanted to tell him, to love him, and to cherish him but I couldn't speak a word. So I did what I do best.
I pulled his lips to mine in a searing and passionate kiss.
"I am so sorry. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Please forgive me," I kept mumbling against his lips. Then it was inaudible "I love you"s as Michael began to deepen the kiss drastically. I was shocked at his new wave of passionate love he is giving me.
What happened to Mr. Committed?
Right when I thought that, Michael grabs me under my butt and pulls me up around his waist. I didn't want to stop kissing him. It's like we were teenagers again and we just figured out how much we wanted each other.
Michael started moving and I paid no attention to where we were going but instead continued my assault on his lips and rubbed my right hand over Michael's clothed dick. He really couldn't move in those jeans and he didn't need to tell me or show me but I knew.
However, he didn't stop walking and that's when I felt the cold surface of the bathroom counter. "Sorry baby but I can't quite make it to the be-"
I didn't care. "I love you so much. I love you. I love you. I love you." My lips didn't want to separate from his.
I felt Michael grab my pussy hard and fast and rub hard where the clothe covered my opening. His hand caused my groan with need.
I needed him. I wanted him. I love him.
But as he was opening my pants, I had to stop him.
"Wait," it was barely a whisper, but he stopped all the suddenly and looked into my eyes with longing and need.
I hopped off the counter and started to unbuckle his belt and slid his pants off without a word. He was confused as to what I was doing, that is, until I dropped to my knees after the pants were at his ankles. He backed up, shaking his head.
"You don't have to," He said, looking blanked out. I never had a problem with doing oral but the only reason why I ever did was so I could get Michael hard enough. I knew he didn't need it tonight but I wanted to. I knew he enjoys it.
I seductively pulled his boxers over his dick and looked at his angelic body. God I loved for more than one reason that is for sure.
I took his cock in my hand and just lightly rubbed up the shaft and then back down. His responses are insane. His breathing would be heavier and louder and of course, he would get bigger. Then I start to kiss him from his very tip down to the middle of his balls, while licking certain spots and nibbling others.
When I know I have teased and loved him enough, I take him in my mouth and move. He never takes his hands to my head or comes in my mouth. He was always a gentleman about that kind of thing. I feel his pulsing in my mouth and I hum and suck harder. Then move my tongue up and down him in my mouth and over his slit.
"More tongue, please?" Breathless. (He always asks too.)
I comply willingly, hearing his breath loose rhythm. He's close.
"I am going to cum. That's enough." I give more last stroke and kiss before I release him from my torture of pleasure.
"God, you are so good," he says, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me off the ground, then picking me up under my butt again and placing me back on the counter.
He motioned me to lie down on the long counter and obey, ending my feet in a sink. He began to take my pants off feverishly and then tearing them of my legs with haste, lifting my butt and legs when needed. Once having nothing on at all, Michael laid me down, ran his hands up and down my body, while kissing and biting every part he could see.
He kissed, licked, and bit literally every inch of my body. He lingered in certain areas that include my breast, pussy, and stomach. As he was doing this, his hands grasped and held on to me in a certain way that can only be described as passionate. He held on to my body as he slowly pushed me to edge.
I came many times during his adventure, but it wasn't enough for him.
He suddenly moved his left arm under my knees and used his other arm to flip me over. Then continued his adventure on that side of my body. He got half way down my back before I couldn't wait anymore.
"No more, baby… I n-need…. you in me. Now." Michael then grabbed me and flipped me over without warning again. I love it when he pulled my legs off the edge of the counter and wrapped them around his waist.
Without even a warning, he plunged into my extremely wet flesh. I gasped at the sudden rush and he immediately set a fast pace. He was hitting that spot every time and I was getting so close.
Suddenly he grabs my butt and pulls me off the counter. Then he slammed me in the wall, piercing me again with his dick.
"Shit! Oh God, yes! Oh God! Michael!" He didn't show even after I came, but instead dove deeper in me, causing my orgasm to be short and sweet. As I orgasmed, I pulled his hair and he bit down on my shoulder, trying to last longer for me. Then it started all over again.
He continued to hit my hilt every thrust then he pulled me off the wall. He grabbed my hands and pressed them against the bar that held up the shower curtain. He then lifted my right leg and drove into my pussy again.
I groaned and moaned. I didn't know Michael could do this.
From the difference of angles of penetration it wasn't long before I came again. Twice.
Then he moved my hands to the floor as then pushed me into a doggy style position. This has never been our specialty because I was too short for him and he couldn't keep his dick in me.
He penetrates me again and this time, sets a pace faster than anything I have ever felt him, or anyone I have ever been with, done. I felt my boobs vibrate from the fast dives Michael's dick is doing to my body.
Michael took his shirt off as he started to sweat from the excerption. He started to groan with pleasure behind me. I came many times during this that I lost count and I started to get dizzy.
He suddenly slows his pace to staggering. I move my hips against him a few times before he holds me in place, forcing his pace on me.
Then Michael slams into me hard, fast, and deep. He just penetrated me with his whole dick! And for your information, he isn't small. In simple terms, I won't be able to walk tomorrow.
He starts to ram into to me like that repeatedly until he brings his hands to my breasts and pushes even harder into me. It even hurts a little bit, but it felt so good. I feel him pulse in me and his breathing is almost just gasps. He is going to cum.
I lift off the ground as I am about to come again and Michael takes this chance to wrap his arms around my stomach and breasts, shoving me against his hard body. Once he pulls me to a completely upper position, I came violently. Michael came less than a second after me, cumming in my pussy forcefully.
As soon as the waves slowed, my body slumped forward in exhaustion. Michael caught me before I hit the floor too hard and held me against him.
"I love you," I said one last time, before I got extremely dizzy from the quick breathes I had been taking and passed out. I didn't feel Michael pick me off the floor bridal style like he is forbidden to do because of my weight insecurities. I didn't feel the covers being pulled over our bodies, nor the arm that grasped me protectively till morning.
He took us to our bedroom.