I more or less wrote this during Chemistry today. The original plan was to turn it into a poem, but I think I like this version better.


FRESHMAN YEAR - CAFETERIA

Your voice sounds like the Devil's. I'm never entirely sure how to respond to it. Your eyes ado an excellent job of convincing my head that you're joking. My heart always begs me to take you up on the offer. I haven't taken my heart's advice yet. I wonder what would happen if I did.

The routine makes me miserable every time. You're just another reminder that I'm not good enough for this to happen to me for real. Just another reminder that I'm not good enough to be taken seriously. And I hate you. Right now, I hate you.

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SOPHOMORE YEAR - FIRST FLOOR HALLWAYS

My heart and my head have gone through hell lately. I feel like things would've been simpler if you had been sincere last year. Maybe you were sincere last year. I never did find out. I don't think I'll ever get the chance. I don't see you anymore. Not even in the hallways. I think I'd like to see your face again.

You would've laughed if I listened to my heart last year. Maybe not. I don't think anyone could be that cruel. You probably would've just joked your way out of it. I just can't help but feeling like my heart was on to something last year. There has to be a way to find out if I'm right. And I want to. Right now, I want to.

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JUNIOR YEAR - ROOM 220

You look like an angel when you're sleeping. A painful, cynical, beautiful mess of an angel. I wonder what you're dreaming of. The look on your face isn't giving much away. I feel guilty for watching you. Especially after yesterday. I never got a clear answer. I still can't help feeling like my heart was wrong.

Watching you makes me want to smile and sob at the same time. Makes me want to fill entire books with stories about you. Makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs to keep my head from exploding. Makes me want to wrap my arms around you to keep my heart from hurting. And I love you. Right now, I love you.