Alison

Jake's tongue ran down my neck and over my collarbone. My heart was still slamming into my ribcage like a boxer's fist. He pressed his forehead against mine and I watched a bead of sweat slide down the side of his face.

Sex always seemed to stress the differences between smokers and nonsmokers. With my heart rate slowing and my breathing normal, I was already thinking of the boxes I had yet to pack and the friends I hadn't called. Oblivious to my thoughts, Jake's breath hit my face in a hot cloud of menthol cigarettes and stale beer. His panting didn't seem to be slowing any time soon so I chose that moment to take a shower.

As I stood he slapped my naked rear hard enough to leave a handprint. I sighed and kept walking, too tired to send a scathing remark his way. In truth I couldn't stand Jake. He was a narcissistic cop I had met two years ago through a friend. He was an aggressive, sexist smoker who always seemed to be sweating. And I couldn't stand that. He embodied every pet peeve that bothered me. But the sex..

It's been my personal experience that hot hate sex always topped the passionate abandon and fake orgasms I had with men I liked. Twenty-nine years did not seem to be enough time for me to find some one I both liked and had great sex with.

Along with the dirt and dried sweat, I was imagining the water washing away my life here. All the negative feelings, bad experiences, and worse boyfriends. Colorado could be a fresh start, as cliché as it sounded; a new leaf.

A higher salary, a new environment and Orren all waited for me in the city of Colorado Springs. The nervousness I was feeling had nothing to do with not knowing anyone, but more to do with my sister. The lingering question of whether or not she even wanted to see me was constantly in the back of my mind, and had stayed there until recently, where it was now front and center. It was all I could think about. Meeting up with her and being rejected. She had left my life before, now I was giving her the opportunity to push me out of hers.

It's not as though Orren had been forced to leave. Asher wasn't exactly dragging her out of the house the day she left. But in the eyes of our family and friends, he might as well have. I didn't want to dwell on it. If I thought too much about Asher I'd chicken out. The man terrified me. When Orren first told me about him, she said he had the prettiest grey eyes that held so much sadness. That was not what I saw when I met him. His eyes were silver, not grey. They held an intelligence and ferocity that no one else seemed to notice. When Orren would get up to leave the room, his eyes would follow her for as long as they could. That was as weird as it got up until the last night we saw her.

We were all meeting at Mom's house to have dinner, Orren was bringing Asher and I was bringing a guy friend from work. I wasn't sure how many more of Mom's passive aggressive remarks I could take when the doorbell finally rang. I ran to open it and was going to ream her for being so late when I stopped. I'd never seen her look so bad. There was a light sheen of sweat on her forehead and the light lavender circles under her eyes made it look like she hadn't slept in days.

"Jesus, are you OK?"

Asher, who rarely spoke at all before that night, said, "She's got a bit of a cold. She needs to get some food in her."

I shook my head, "I don't think this is a cold. Orren, do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

I watched her look up at Asher, who nodded once. "I'm fine, I look a lot worse than I feel. I am really hungry though."

I stepped out of the doorframe to let her pass, but it was Asher who walked in first, pulling her behind him. Maybe it's a southern thing, but I was I little ticked that he wouldn't let a lady through first. Not that it should have surprised me, it was just lengthening the list of things that Asher did that creeped me out.

Throughout dinner, I kept a close watch over Orren. Mom had been assured that it was just a cold and had dropped it, but I was positive she was going to pass out any second. The whole night she was breathing out of her mouth, taking deep slow breaths and kept twitching, like she was having muscle spasms. Once, when Mom pushed her chair back to get up, Orren jerked like it had scared the shit out of her.

She looked up at Asher, "I'm going to the bathroom."

He nodded and she got up. I followed her out of the dining room. "What the hell's going on? Did you take something? What has you so jumpy?"

She pulled her arm from my grasp and glared at me. "I just don't feel good."

"Then you should have stayed home. You need to be in bed resting. Not running around with Asher."

"Running around? I'm at my Mom's house. Calm down ok? I'm fine." She spun around to head to the bathroom and swayed, placing her hand on the wall for support. I glared at her.

"You're so not fine. And you're being a total ass for not telling me what's going on. Is it Asher? Did he give you something?"

"Enough Ali! I'm not high, and my boyfriend didn't fucking drug me! Leave it alone."

"Leave what alone? What are you not telling me?" she looked up at me and shook her head.

"I.."

"Orren, maybe I should take you home." I spun around to see Asher standing in the doorway.

"What's wrong with her? What aren't you guys telling me?"

He tilted his head, "She has a cold, Alison. Would you rather her have some rare tropical disease?"

I laughed and shook my head. "Fuck you." Asher's eyes narrowed the slightest bit.

"I think I would like to go home actually." We both turned to look at her. "Nothing sounds better than curling up in my bed and watching Grandma's Boy."

I didn't say anything as she came up to me and hugged me a little longer than normal. "Love you." I watched her leave.

My friend and I left about an hour after they had.

I still remember the surprise I felt when I saw the envelope under my windshield wiper.

I took a deep breath and held back tears, effectively cutting my memory short. I stepped out of the shower and grabbed the only towel I hadn't packed. I was hoping Jake would be gone by the time my shower was over; it would be the last time I would be seeing him, and it would be hard for me to pretend I was sad about it.

In my bedroom the bed was a mess and my clothes were still on the floor. But what caught my eye wasn't my torn ninety-dollar bra, but the paper on the bed.

On the back of a grocery receipt Jake had written me a note.

Alison-

Had a great time tonight, good luck in Washington. Took a twenty out of your bag for cab fare.

-Jake

It was truly incredible how much he could piss me off in a note.

::::::::

My muscles were stiff from the plane and one of my ears still hadn't popped. Even though I'd have preferred to go straight to my new apartment, the four-hour delay at Huntsville International meant I would have to hurry just to be on time for the meeting I had set up.

The chicken I had had on the plane sat like a lump of concrete in my stomach as I tore through the streets in my rented Prius. What a great first impression I would make, the new boss arriving late looking like a reck.

A tree lined road opened up into a circle drop where valets waited patiently to smile and charm the new arrivals of Beaver Creek Resort. I jumped out and smoothed my pencil skirt, I was glad I had worn black since it would mostly hide the telltale signs of traveling. The valet smiled as I handed him my keys, I watched him get in and caught a glimpse of his tight ass.

I couldn't believe I was thinking about men like that already, I guess Jake didn't really do it for me. I smiled. I wanted to call him and tell him that, he needed to be taken down a couple notches.

My office was on the main floor. The receptionist at the front desk handed me a temporary card that would grant me access to the offices. I passed through the solid glass door with the words Public Relations engraved onto a cream colored plaque on the wall next to it.

"You must be Miss Lacroix." a thin older woman in a sensible pantsuit was smiling at me warmly. "My name is Julie Jenner, we spoke briefly last week."

"Of course, it's such a pleasure to meet you in person. I hope I'm not too late, my flight was delayed a few hours."

"Don't worry about that, we're all so happy to have you here. You're previous secretary, Jenn, when I spoke to her she said such wonderful things."

"She's such a sweetheart, I don't think she could ever say anything mean about anyone." Total lie. Jenn would gossip about anyone in a heart beat. She must have sensed that Mrs. Jenner wouldn't appreciate her knowledge on how many of the marketing guys were gay.

"Well, everyone is waiting in the conference room. It's the last door on the right."

"Thank you so much Julie."

I stopped in front of the double walnut doors and took a deep breath. When I stepped into the room I counted twelve employees. I shut the door behind me and went to the front of the long table.

"Hello everyone, I'm Alison Lacroix, and I'm really excited to be here."