This is dedicated for anyone who has a loved one with Bipolar.

Once I was alone

And I begged for another,

Then I got my wish

My little baby brother.

How happy I was to have that small annoying pest

Then I learned just how different we were from all the rest.

Me, I got lucky, I think I will be fine; but he, he I fear for and of all the time.

He's annoyingly happy;

He's horribly mad;

He's angrily stubborn;

He's terrifyingly sad.

He screams and accuses,

He curses and complains:

"It's not my fault, it's the worlds!" he cries.

"Quiet!" I want to scream,

"I'm tired of your self-lies!"

I don't know how they do it,

How they can care so much.

I want to care, I do, I do,

But all I feel is numb.

Today he came home angry,

Not at all to my surprise,

Then he began to throw things,

I couldn't stop myself from trying one more time.

Calmly I began to speak,

Vain attempt to calm him down,

I knowingly confronted the storm.

He punches me with words

As I cling to my moral ground;

He stops throwing objects

Only to tear me down.

Each try for understanding

Is met with vile, anger, hate.

He rages against those who love him most

And claims Hell can't be worse than this;

I try to prove him wrong knowing every word will miss.

I tell him that I love him

As I hate myself for wondering if it's true;

I want to use all my heart

But it feels empty through and through.

He growls like no beast I know

And hunches over, shaking;

I think I saw him shed a tear

As I felt my spirit breaking.

Rarely do I cry

Yet I cannot control this flow;

If crying is for sadness

Am I empty as a hole?

In this fight there is no win, there is simply breaking down,

So I fear will be his life: not to be saved but drowned.

Seeking catharsis I write this poem down,

My stomach numb,

My chest tight,

My eyes heavy from tears I no longer shed.

I want to go back to childhood,

To when fear was unknown;

To when love was assuredly pure;

When Big Sister would always protect

Little Brother.