A.N.: Again, don't criticize me too harshly!!! I've been wanting to write a story like this for awhile now...
"Haaaaaapppppyyyy anniversary of your parents doing it, happy aoypdi. Happy aoypdi dear Addie, happy aoypdi!!" My friends had just pretty much butchered the happy birthday song just for me, gee didn't I feel special?
"Hurry up and blow out the candles, cause presents are coming up next!" My best friend, Natalia Wi screamed excitedly, like a kid peeking at presents on Christmas eve while their parents slept.
"God, you're such a kid, Nat." I blew out the candles atop my tiramisu cake and making a wish.
'I hope to find love before my 24th birthday.' I closed my eyes.
"Alright, enough wishing. Carmen, stash the cake in the fridge until she's done opening presents." Nat ordered. "The sooner you open the presents, the sooner I can head out for a smoke."
"Gee, you're so considerate."
"Open mine first!!!" Vivian tossed a red box at me and tried to keep laughter inside, while I attempted to open the box without tearing the gift wrap.
"Stop being all frugal and just rip the damn thing open." Nat pulled out a carton of cigarettes, geez the girl was addicted and a grump when she went without.
"Ummm... thanks. I've always wanted a.... what is this?"
"It's a fertility god statue. I've named him Lenny, because I can't pronounce his real name." She giggled.
"Umm... not to be rude or anything, but why a fertility god?"
"Why NOT a fertility god?" It seemed hopeless to argue with her so I shrugged and started to open Carmen's gift.
"Awwww.... you're the best Carmen, I love it!" I did a little kick in the air as I held onto a $200 gift card to Barnes & Nobles.
"Carmen, you prat. You gave her a gift card to a book store?" Nat chuckled, taking a sip of her martini, that she'd made with ingredients she'd left at my apartment.
"Well, I'm sure that my present is way better than yours!" She argued, taking a seat on my bed beside Angela.
"Oh yeah? Well as they say, save the best for last. You go ahead Angela, I'm sure mine will top your's indefinitely." Nat rolled her eyes.
"Well, actually all I had was the tiramisu birthday cake. I'm sorry." She patted my shoulder. "I spent all afternoon trying to get it perfect for your 23rd birthday."
"It's fine, that cake seems tasty, even though Nat won't let me have any." I rolled my eyes, mocking Nat.
"Hush, child. Here's your present." She tossed a silvery box with a white ribbon at me.
".FUCK?" I glared at her wih contempt in my eyes. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GET ME A VIBRATOR?"
"Well, you seemed so upset the other day about Jason dumping you, so I figured this would cheer you up." She pouted, while Carmen, Angela, and Vivian were in hysterics.
"Next time, don't!"
"Gah, you're no fun. Why am I friends with you?"
"Well, it all started in Elementary School when you dropped your science project.... various types of molds on me." I glared.
"Bah, whatever. Let's celebrate your birthday in style. Why don't we go out to a club? Mike Dayne told me about this new place that his cousin bartends at. I'm in dire need of a drink." She got up from her spot on my bean bag chair and headed for my vanity, fixing her hair.
"You just chugged three martinis! I don't wanna go to a club, Nat. It's my birthday. I thought we were going to have a girl's night in with manicures, pedicures, chick flicks, and, and-" I whined like one of Nat's boytoys who'd been denied sex.
"All in favor of going to a club?" She raised a perfect eyebrow, leaving the martini glass on my night stand, as Vivian, Angela, and Carmen all raised their hands in unison.
"Thanks a lot guys...."
An hour later.....
"Another shot, bar keep!" I raised my glass and waved a twenty in the air.
"I'm cutting you off, lady. You're way too drunk."
"It's my buuurfday, so I'll get as drunk as I damn well please."
"Well, you don't belong in a bar on your birthday. Shouldn't you be hanging out with your friends?"
"My friends dragged me here, but they all hooked up with some random guys and left me here to rot." I began seeing my shot glass morphing into a unicorn. "Heeey.... I told Nat that unicorns existed..."
"Holy hell, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. There're a lot of idiots around here tonight, and you're going to get raped if you don't go home before you fall into deeper shit." I could barely make out his profile now, and I didn't understand a single word he said, but his profile seemed pretty sexy to me at the moment.
"Hey, you wanna dance?" I slurred, trying to grab at his shirt.
"If I dance with you, will you stop ordering shots and just go home?" I tried to nod, but it only ended with me banging my chin on the counter.
"Christ, are you alright?" He applied something moist and cold to my chin, while I clung to him for support.
"I am not Christ." I mumbled, I was numb to all physical feelings right now and I didn't want to mope around anymore, so I reached up and kissed the bartender.
I woke up the next morning, cursing the sun for nearly blinding me and at the person lying next to me, that I was cuddling up to. I was thankful that their fiery red hair was blocking my left eye from the sun, but I still wanted to know who the fuck they were.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" Except I excluded the 'hell' part, because apparently I'm too nice to cuss at my rapist, I flinched because of my hangover... fuck.
"Why don't you calm down, where do you keep your aspirin?" He got out of my bed, naked, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.....
"Like I'd tell you, you're going to force feed me pills until I o.d., so that you can rape my dead body!!! You NECROPHILIAC!!!" I flinched again, I really should know better than to scream after a night of heavy drinking.
"Fine, have it your way then." The red head shrugged. "Mind if I use your shower? I've got class in like an hour." He peered down at his watch, which reflected the sun into my eyes, to which I hissed in response.
"Wait.... class?" I started to hyperventilate. "I JUST SLEPT WITH A MINORRRRRRR!!!! I'm too weak for jail!!!!" I began to wail while the man stared at me, non caring, finally when I began to calm down, he spoke.
"I'm in law school." He rolled his eyes and headed towards my bathroom, with a duffel bag.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE MY BATHROOM IS? AND IS THAT DUFFEL BAG FOR MY DEAD BODY?" I flinched again, mentally slapping myself upside the head.
"Relax, you threw up a lot last night after we had sex, and the duffel bag has my clean clothes in it." He padded his way to my bathroom and closed the door gently, leaving me sitting there like an idiot with a huge headache, so I threw on a robe and dug through my kitchen cabinets for my bottle of aspirin as I heard the shower turn on.
I took two and downed it with a glass of pomegranate juice, when the man came into the kitchen and gave me a quick peck on the forehead, while I slapped him away.
"I'm Ted by the way, what's your name?"
"Like I'd tell you, you'd probably look me up in the white pages and stalk me home."
"Would you quit it? Drop the attitude, you wanted me sooo bad last night, and newsflash, I already know where you live, I'm in your house right now."
"It's Christopher, but most people call me Addie." I growled, bracing myself for a reaction to my name.
"Huh... Christopher huh? Were you like the girl that you parents never wanted or something?"
"Something like that." I shrugged, then remembering who he was, I began to walk toward my front door. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out."