So yeah. Not really a plot. Just a scene that's been playing in my head.
I didn't mean to kill her. I swear I didn't! It wasn't my fault! I don't wanna get in trouble, that'd be like really bad. Man, Dad is going to be SOOO mad at me when he finds out what I did. I'll just tell him that we were just playing a game. And that it was just an accident. Because it was! That's what it was. It was just a harmless accident. We were just playing a game and I don't know what happened! All I know is that were playing Marco Polo in the pool then we started wrestling and the next thing I know, she's floating on her stomach. She's not moving, and I don't know CPR. That's gross. Putting my mouth on hers? How does that make people live again? I guess its like in Snow White or Sleeping Beauty when the prince kisses the girl to make them wake up again. But I'm not a prince, so I didn't think that it would work.
Kallie was my next door neighbor and she came over to play in my pool sometimes. I was a little bit older than her, so it was like I was watching her, though she wasn't too young not to watch herself. Her Dad thought it was weird that I was playing with her. Mom told him about my condition one time, so he never liked me since. They said it was something called Peter Pan Syndrome. They explained it to my mom better than they did to me. Basically I couldn't grow up. But that's stupid. I grew up just fine. My body got bigger, but inside I didn't. I just like playing games still. Nothing wrong with that. Kallie was 13 years old. I was 21.
Benny came rushing through the house when he saw her laying on the concrete. He was my little brother, 16 years old.
"What did you do?!" He asked. But before I could answer, he started doing CPR. Five pushes on her chest and he put his mouth to hers, holding her nose and breathing deep.
"I'm sorry...I d-didn't mean to. We were just...she was...oh God..." I was stammering. I turned around. I didn't want to see her.
Then! I heard coughing. Kallie wasn't dead! I turned to see her hugging Benny and crying. I was going to hug her too, but then Benny pushed me away.
"Get the fuck away from her!" he yelled at me, pushing me in the chest. "She almost died because you play to goddamn much!"
"I didn't mean to, Benny. I promise." I whispered. "Kallie, I'm sorry!"
"Grow, Izzy. Now. Before someone really does die."
Benny never liked that I acted like a kid more than him. It was okay when he was 7 and he wanted someone to play with. But then he was 12 and 17, and he was telling me to stop being immature. I just made a fart noise, and didn't listen to him. But I couldn't do that now. I couldn't even look up at him. I was feeling something I never had before. Shame? Yes. That's it. I was ashamed. I couldn't show him my face as I started crying. I really didn't mean it.
Maybe it was time to grow up? I wish I knew how.