I feel the flame

against my skin

I hiss

but don't move it

for I like it

I watch

as my pale flesh

turns from white

to red

to black


seeps out from the dead skin

it drips down my wrist

to my hand

and stains my fingers

as it falls to the ground


some call me

and maybe theyre right

but I cant help it

I love the feel of it

the pain

and how it makes myself see

that there is life inside me

even when I feel dead

and empty

that somehow

im still alive

even when I think

I've killed my own soul

the match dies

and I light another one

only for that one

to be extinguished

I look up at the dark night sky

and feel rain drops caress

my face

I stand up

and let the rain

soak me

easing the pain

I put on myself

slicking my hair back

and making my clothes stick to me

I tear off my shoes

and feel the cool grass

between my toes

I don't care

when the coldness

creeps into my bones

I laugh

and start to run

wild and free

leaving the matches

behind me

and I smile

I can feel my lips crack

for I havent smiled

in months

but the rain

soothes that as well

as I run in the rain

in the black night

I realize

that I don't want that anymore

I want to feel as free as I do

running barefoot in the rain

I never want to feel that again