This Is Your Life

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A/N: I'm sorry for my long absence in the world of original fiction, but my laptop broke and I consequently lost many of my Ralph/Fiona stories I'd not yet uploaded. I hope you all enjoy this story nonetheless!

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He's gone again, leaving her two days earlier than he promised. She had counted on those two days, had needed that time to ward off the loneliness that so often came to visit once he'd left. But no, he had to return to his wife, to Deirdre.

She resents coming second in his life, she resents being his secret. She wants to go to parties on his arm, wants to kiss him in public, wants to go out to the grocery store with him, for God's sake! She's tired of being shunted aside all the time, tired of having to lie to friends. She's just tired of it all.

She would end it if she didn't love him, but she does. She's loved him for a long time, ever since they day they met. And now, six years later, she regrets meeting him. But she did meet him, began an affair with him... fell in love with him.

What if she hadn't met him? Would she be married by now, with children and pets and a home? Would her biggest concern be whether or not to let her children have one or two scoops of ice cream for dessert?

Or would she still be alone, waiting but not knowing what she was waiting for? Would she have found another man like Ralph, one who only came back to her a few times a year?

She wishes she could rewind things, knowing what she knows now, and make different decisions. But when it came down to saying 'yes' or 'no' to Ralph, could she say no? Could she deny her love for him? Even with all this pain, all this suffering, don't the happy moments they've had negate the bad times?

Does it really matter? Her choices have been made, the cards have been dealt, and the game has begun. There's no turning back now.

'This is your life,' she whispers to herself, 'you chose it.' But that doesn't make the pain any easier to bear.