CAST

Siren- Seriously hates genies.

Random Manatee- " We're endangered you know!"

Screaming Redheaded Passenger- " You jump, I jump Jack!"

Author's Note: This story was written about a month before the 2008 U.S. presidential elections...So, that would explain something Siren asks below. I guess this is my version of what happened to the R.M.S. Titanic. Hehe...


[SIREN swimming gracefully through water. Pulls herself on outcropping of rock jutting out of sea.]

SIREN :[twirls hair] Hmm...Who should I entrance with my melodious voice? Which sailor shall meet his watery grave today? Will Barack Obama be president? Why am I asking myself these questions out loud?

[RANDOM MANATEE swims up to SIREN and rubs her tail.]

RANDOM MANATEE: Please Miss Siren please help me. There are too many motor boats out here and their propellers have scarred my back. In fact, my back is so scarred that my wife won't come near me anymore...and I'm a manatee, you know. We're endangered!

SIREN:(slightly disgusted) Okay...I did not need to know that last part....Well...(looks out to sea) I don't see any ships around, so I will help you...Wait, with what?

RANDOM MANATEE: I told you, my back is scarred; there are too many motor—

SIREN: Yeah, I know, but what can I do about it?

RANDOM MANATEE: Umm...Well, you're a siren aren't you? So, if I rub your tail. I get three wishes...right?

SIREN: That's a genie! And even though I am so much prettier than those sluts-in-a-lamp, they have the power to grant wishes, not me...

[Titanic slowly drifting by]

SIREN: Ooh, that's a big ship...Bet there's a lot of men on it...And what a coincidence, an iceberg nearby. I must leave, sea cow....

RANDOM MANATEE: I prefer the term MANATEE!

[SIREN entrances ship captain with her melodious voice, distracting him and causing mighty Titanic to crash into iceberg.]

The End?

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Epilogue

[Screaming redheaded passenger clinging to RANDOM MANATEE;Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" playing in background]

RANDOM MANATEE: I'm not a life boat, damn it!

PASSENGER: I'll never forget you Jack Dawson, Neverrrrrr!!!!!!

[Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" fades and ends].